Whenever I hear some ladies say they are in love with married men they are dating, I pity them. Some of these ladies even chase away eligible young men because their married lovers promised to divorce their wives and marry them. Don’t fall for that outdated line if you are dating a married man.
One of the first rules of being a perfect side chick is not to fall in love with your married lover. Don’t try that! In most cases, it ends in premium tears. You will waste years of your life fighting for a relationship that is dead on arrival. Married men who cheat on their wives just want to play games with as many women as possible, so don’t invest emotions in that affair. Learn to play the game too if you don’t want to suffer unnecessary heartbreak.
If you are in love with a married man, you are probably experiencing a lot of conflicting emotions right now. Sometimes, you just can’t help but feel blissfully happy, because you have fallen in love.
At other times, you come crashing back down to reality and remember he’s married, and that it’s a very complicated situation. And it’s made even more frustrating by the fact that you never set out to meet or fall in love with someone who’s already married. You found yourself in this situation, and now you don’t know what to do.
Of course, no relationship between two people is ever quite the same as any other. The relationship you have with this man and the relationship he has with his wife are both unique and hard for anyone on the outside to understand, so it’s tough to give generic advice in situations like these.
But there are some hard truths that you need to hear about this relationship if you really want to be honest with yourself. Things have to change in that relationship and it’s not going to be an easy ride. Bearing that in mind, you have to know what to do about the situation you are in, take positive action and move forward with your life.
If you are in love with a married man, the first thing is, you need to consider whether you can really trust him. If a man that’s in a monogamous marriage is having an affair, there’s inevitably a lot of lying going on, so you already know that he’s capable of deceit.
Did that lying extend to you? Did you know that he was married from the moment you met him, or did he lie to you about it? The fact that he’s lying to his wife is a red flag, but if he was trying to pull the wool over your eyes, then you need to accept that he’s definitely not trustworthy.
If he were to ever leave his wife for you, you have no guarantee that he wouldn’t do the same thing to you a few years down the line. Can you really trust a man cheating on his wife with you even if you both get married after he divorces his wife?
Have it at the back of your mind that you might not be the first woman he cheated on his wife with. Cheating men are good liars. If he doesn’t seem to have any real intention of leaving his wife for you, you might not be the first ‘other woman.’ You might not even be the only other woman, although that would involve some serious organizational skills on his part. No matter how special he makes you feel or how in love you are with this married man, you can never really know whether you are just one in a long line.
Even though it is tough enough squeezing two relationships into a marriage but Nigerian men can do this effortlessly because they don’t explain their whereabouts to their wives. They see it as being questioned and they don’t like it because they use that excuse of not being monitored by their wives as an opportunity to cover their multiple affairs.
Think about your relationship with this man so far. I wouldn’t mind betting that it involves an awful lot of you waiting around for him. You stay in just in case he texts to say he managed to sneak away. You wait for him when he’s late for dates because he couldn’t find an excuse to leave. You are wasting your time waiting for him to call, when you could be out there living your life with single men who will devote quality time to you and the relationship.Set featured image
No matter how much he might try to convince you otherwise, if you are the other woman, you are not number one on his priority list. His wife is, and, if he has children, they are. You are the side piece that is meant to be hidden. You are only meant to stay in the shadows in his life. If you want to live your whole life this way, then wait for him to divorce his wife no matter how long it takes so that he can be free to go public with you.
The married man you are in love with is probably not going to leave his wife, let this sink in. Very few married men actually end up leaving their wives for their lovers, and the chances are that you’re not the exception that proves the rule.
Divorce is a very big deal, and there are lots of things that will keep him in a marriage, no matter how unhappy he claims to be in it. Don’t believe his words, when his actions are all that really count here. When you are in love with a married man, this can be hard to remember – but you must.
You might think what you are feeling is love but it might be that you are probably enjoying the thrill of the forbidden relationship. This might be hard to admit to yourself, but this is a risky relationship.
You need to acknowledge that there might be part of you that’s getting a kick out of the idea of having an affair. And that’s definitely the case on his part. Your relationship would most likely change beyond all recognition, and you’d have to deal with the challenges of him getting over his divorce.
If you both finally get married, you would suddenly start living the mundane day-to-day together, rather than just snatched moments of passion, and suddenly he might not seem so appealing.
If the married man you are in love with has kids with his wife, you’ve got yourself into an incredibly complex situation. If he were to leave his wife for you; that would seriously affect his relationship with his kids.
If they know that their dad left their mum for you, they are not likely to warm to you, which would create some serious friction between you and him. Your sweet relationship might turn sour when you start having clashes with his children.
It is possible that he might have married someone with whom he’s incompatible with, but if not, the problems in his marriage aren’t all down to his wife. He may have issues, or a certain approach to serious relationships that could cause problems between the two of you down the line too. Don’t lie to yourself that it would be different with you.
It’s tough to accept this, but no matter how passionate he is towards you now and how much it might seem like he loves you, it’s only a matter of time before you start becoming a complication, and he gets tired of you. You are temporary in that married man’s life.
Stealing time to be together is sexy to start off, but it soon becomes difficult. An affair is time-consuming and a logistical nightmare, and once the excitement of the initial stage of your relationship has worn off; he will soon get tired of it. He will move to another lady and if you have made the mistake of falling in love with him, you will have to nurse your broken heart all by yourself.
I’m sure some of that was hard to read, but you probably needed to hear it. You need to look to the future and figure out what you are going to do. Although you may be in love with this married man right now, there are ways to get yourself out of this situation.
You need to dump that married man. This is a very simplistic approach, and I’m sure you have heard it a million times already, especially from your best friends and all the people that love you if you have told them about the affair. But you need to consider carefully whether this relationship is providing you with anything positive or whether it’s time to cut the cord entirely.
If you can’t bring yourself to break up with him, then at least, keep your options open. Go on dates with other men. Flirt with that hot guy at work. Try online dating. You are totally free to see other people. After all, the two of you aren’t exclusive. He’s still sleeping with his wife, no matter what he might claim.
Seeing other guys can remind you that there are plenty more fishes in the sea, so that when your affair with that married man ends, you won’t be crying into your ice cream, convinced you will never find anyone else. You don’t have to be faithful to a married man, that’s not a wise thing to do.