A friend had an emergency trip out of town, and he was low on cash at the time. He needed a place to put up for the time he would be away.
He reached out to an old friend who lives in the city he was to visit and this friend accepted to be his host. It wasn’t convenient owing to the fact that the host is married with a child and living in a one bedroom apartment.
Both husband and wife work, so they leave home very early Monday through Friday and return in the evening. They rarely cook except on weekends.
They do more of beverages in the morning and fruits at night before they retire to bed. They spend the weekends cleaning, washing, cook just little food to last the weekend, take enough rest to prepare for the coming week.
This arrangement works for this couple and never did they have any fight on how they have chosen to run their home until this nosy friend came along.
I was absolutely gutted when he started to tell me things about his host’s living arrangement. I shut him down immediately. These are some of the reasons a lot of people would never allow even family and friends any space in their homes. You come in and want to tell them how best to run their lives.
A suitor once paid me an unscheduled visit. He just called me on phone to ask for directions to my house. He was disappointed I had no food in my house and he told me to my face. This grown human being in the name of looking for a ‘wife material’ stormed my house just to come measure his imaginary wife material.
Well, I have my reasons for whatever I do. I don’t cook most times because I’m barely home and it was more economical at the time. I leave to work as early as 6am to beat traffic almost every Monday through Friday. I didn’t own a deep freezer at the time. Light was nearly epileptic.
To keep my weight and gluttony in check I eat out and once a day, in the afternoon. I eat more of fruits at night and if I get too hungry in the evening, I eat grilled or roasted fish and yes I buy them already made. I also do not return home early, I on purpose stay out late until traffic eases.
Even if this suitor had informed me a day before that he would be visiting, I wouldn’t have cooked food for him. I would offer him a bottle of wine instead. He once told me how he does not eat in any single lady’s house. He alleged some use ‘wash and put’ just to trap men and I am a single lady too.
When you visit people’s homes either on their invite or they accommodate you for sometime, even if it is yam they consume everyday because that is what they can afford or you observed they don’t buy beyond N1,000 fuel for their car because they cannot afford a half or full tank, it is not in your place to discuss what you saw with any other soul. There are information that are not for public or the next person’s consumption.
It is becoming more obvious that people visit others with the intent to have something to dig out or to have something nasty to say. It’s either you are complaining they have too much cloths, shoes, bags, they are extravagant, are poor yet pretending to have it all or rich and living lavishly, yet stingy.
You call his wife lazy for employing house helps, you call the husband weak for helping in the house etc. There’s just something negative to find in your host’s home. Yet, you get angry when you inform friends or family you are coming to town for a day, two or more and they start to dodge you with excuses. Most times, they are trying to keep their private lives and struggles to themselves.
If you can afford to stay in a hotel when you are outside your state of residence, by all means do. It is not pride, it is for your own privacy, peace of mind and space.
And if you cannot afford to and you reach out to a person in the city you are visiting and they accept to host you, it is wisdom to go with your tooth brush, towel, night wear, body cream etc. Do not start meddling in your host’s affairs or start inviting other friends to the house.
Always take permission before using their kitchen. Giving out unnecessary information about your host and their level of hygiene would be overstaying your welcome.
If your host decides to check you into a hotel upon arrival, it is not a sign of rejection, they are simply being pro-active. Space, privacy, sanity and peace of mind comes first.
One gesture you should always make as a house guest is to thank your hosts appropriately. While you are visiting, you should give them a ‘thank you’ gift of some sort. Take them out to dinner one evening or a nice bottle of wine. Send a ‘thank you’ message once you get back to base.
Except what you saw is life threatening, every thing you stumbled upon should remain with you.