A young man knocked on my door while I was in the University, I opened my door and he was a total stranger. I tried to inquire who he was looking for but instead of giving me a response, he started to cry. He was dripping tears and couldn’t look me in the eye.
He was a cute young man, though slightly younger than I am.
I tried to find out why he was crying but he sobbed some more. So, i asked if I could hug him and he nodded. I hugged and consoled him. I felt really bad about whatever would make a man cry in that manner. When he was calm I asked him again why he was crying? He told me that he was in love with me and he came to ask me out, but my presence overwhelmed him. He said that it took him months to summon courage to even approach my door. It was the reason he was tongue tied when I opened the door.
I was confused as to how to respond but I had to start anyway. So, I smiled warmly, asked if I could get a hug myself? He gave me a hug. We talked a bit. You know we have to be friends first before we talk about dating. I have a lot of questions I need you to answer honestly, I said.
I excused myself back to my room to dress up properly and see him off. When I returned fully dressed, he held my hand like his life depended on it. We walked to the bus stop where we boarded a taxi to school. I walked him to his department. I gave him my phone number “You can always call or text me” I told him. He thanked me for making him to feel at home. We hugged again and I left.
That was the beginning of long text messages.
He writes very well. He made a very beautiful sketch of me which I hung in my room. We didn’t date, I don’t fancy men that are younger than I am but we became good friends in school. He was an orphan and was seeing himself through school. He was tech savvy.
“You are humble” I get this as compliment from strangers and even people who have known me for a while or all my life. But the truth is that I’m not humble. I treat everyone how I want them to treat me, it’s the reason if you are rude or disrespectful, we can never be friends. I’m easy to relate with, but i’m not humble.
When I smile and listen to bricklayers, cobblers, keke riders, bus drivers, agberos, security guards, and plumbers ask me out, it’s not because I’m humble, neither is it because I enjoy the attention, it is because they are humans and deserve to be heard. They deserve that sense of belonging when it comes to dating and relationships.
I choose to not be rude or walk out on them but to be nice instead. I’m always glad they are not intimidated by how I look. I let them say their minds, and with a smile tell them I appreciate their love, then respond appropriately to their overtures. I walk away after such encounters with my respect intact and their admiration for me raised.
There are things you cannot buy nor acquire by always being rude or unapproachable. Simply be nice, relatable with a little touch of class. That is street credibility. If you like someone and you feel they are way out of your league, do not be easily intimidated.
First things first, do not start forming what you are or what you are not. It’s best to calmly express how you feel to the person. Secondly, be open to rejection even though you are hoping for a positive response. Accept a person’s ‘no’ in good fate and move on. Don’t be a sore loser. We all have our preferences when it comes to who we want to date.
Dear ladies, try to not bruise a man’s ego no matter how way out of his league you are or he may appear; except he’s one of those loud and uncouth men who come buzzing like bees and behaving like touts. Those ones actually deserve to be ignored or reported for harassment.
This year guys, take some risks. Your taste in women are valid. Your unborn generation need her to spice things up. You need the brains, the beauty, the confidence, and every other thing that tells you she’s out of your league. Do not let your insecurities deny you the type of woman you admire and wish to be with.
Your children don’t have to suffer the consequences of your insecurity. That you are not educated or rich does not mean the lady with all the certificates or riches is out of your league. Have good manners, have good intentions towards her, be making your own money how ever little. Her education, quest for knowledge or riches will rub off on you and your kids positively. A lot of women are destiny helpers too. You are not a gold digger, you are just being intentional. You are doing the right thing.
Do not feel intimidated to tell that woman you love how you feel first. Your manner of approach will leave a lasting impression. If she agrees to date you, do not try to project your insecurities on her. Keep your ego in check and watch your relationship and future blossom.