All the dancing and laughter that took place on your wedding day is a lot of fun, but being married isn’t always a piece of cake. Marriage is different from your wedding ceremony.
The reality of living together, seeing the good, the bad and the ugly side of your spouse is not an easy thing to deal with. Sometimes, you forget why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place when the challenges of life hit you both time and time again.
There’s actually a lot of work that goes into living “happily ever after,”. So whether you have been married for years or just tied the knot, you need some helpful tips for a stronger, healthier and more blissful marital bond.
No marriage is happy all of the time. Like all relationships, there are ups and downs. But when you fight, happy couples listen to each other’s point of view, recognize when the argument is going off the rails, and make the necessary repairs.
Some of the happiest couples we see around us today have weathered hard times. So if you and your spouse sometimes argue, or are going through a rough patch, this does not necessarily mean you are in an unhappy marriage. In fact, it probably means you both are normal couples just having a hard time.
In marriage, it’s not always easy to see past minor annoyances, and at times you may even hate your spouse. But to have a happy marriage you have to accept your partner’s strengths and weaknesses and be able to set realistic expectations.
Using your strengths on a daily basis is associated with greater well-being and understanding that your spouse is different from you will save you both a lot of misunderstandings and unnecessary stress. When you help your spouse use their strengths, you experience more relational satisfaction from your union that when you attack them because of their weaknesses.
Kindness in marriage is a must. It’s so important to be respectful and understanding of your spouse. Stop treating your spouse with disrespect and disdain. If you are critical and judgmental it usually ends in defensiveness and resentment.
So to keep things happy within your marriage, avoid attacking your partner’s character when you are upset. Even when you are angry, learn to be kind. Don’t resort to insults, name calling and baseless accusations. You will ruin your marriage that way. Learn to bridle your tongue.
Don’t expect your spouse to complete you. I know this might come as a shock but it is the reality of being married. If you rely on your spouse to fulfill you, it can lead to an over dependent relationship where you are not growing as individuals.
Instead, couples in healthy relationships should complement not complete one another. Couples should be secure, mature, and whole in themselves while being open to their spouses.
Make sure you nurture your own interests and desires and don’t give up what you love doing just to keep your spouse. You might end up resenting them. Take a course you are interested in, make plans with friends, go out and see a movie alone instead of waiting for your spouse to fill in the void all the time.
While it’s important to not fully depend on your partner in order to maintain a happy marriage, it’s also necessary to share common experiences. Injecting new activities and interests into your relationship can strengthen the bond.
When couples share a unique passion, or learn a skill together, they evolve together. Happy couples have a zest for life with each other. Whether it’s a love of travel, a strong desire to build a family together, or a dedication to a common cause, these experiences enrich their relationship in the long run.
Choose to be attracted to your spouse. Attraction to your spouse is a decision that you have the power to make throughout your marriage. You need to practice attraction thoughts. To do this, you need to focus on the attributes you are most drawn to in your spouse, like your spouse’s great legs or the way they parent your kids (it doesn’t have to be physical).
The good news is that your spouse doesn’t have to be a cover model for you to feel attracted to them. Happy marriages are based on a sense of connection. Physical attraction is far deeper than looks.
Celebrate good moments no matter how small. It is important to be there for your spouse during the tough times, but it is important to acknowledge the good times too. Good things actually happen more often than bad, but couples often miss those opportunities to connect.
So the next time your spouse shares something positive, help them savor the moment by asking questions and actively celebrating the good news. In doing so, you will show gratitude for the happy moments in your marriage.
Appreciate your spouse. When you are with someone all the time, it’s easy to take them for granted, but you should verbally express your appreciation to your spouse every day. Whether you are calling positive attention to something thoughtful they have done, or letting them know something you like about them, your spouse needs to feel appreciated and reinforced for the things they are doing right.
Accept and expect change in your marriage if you want to be happy. To be truly happy in marriage, couples must be willing to grow and adapt. Your needs are always changing, people are growing, and relationships evolve. So what you need today may not be what you need years from now.
It is crucial to bend, flex, and pivot with each other in a balanced dance as you both go through life as a married couple. Because in successful marriages, each person supports the other so that they can grow to become the best person they can be, and that means maturing as individuals and together as a team. Until death do you part.
Married couples need to find laughter in both good and bad times. Couples in happy marriages have an ease around each other. Whether it’s through little inside jokes, a funny unexpected text, or even just watching your favourite television series together, connecting with your spouse with laughter can increase your bond and help you lead a happy life together.