One of the most awkward conversations to have in marriage or relationship is telling your partner that they infected you with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or that you have one.
Instead of having such conversation with their partners, many people would rather keep taking their medication secretly while their partners continue to live in ignorance.
Being diagnosed with an STD while in a marriage or relationship can throw up lots of emotions. You may begin to question your partner’s faithfulness and trusting them again can be hard.
It may be awkward to be in that situation. Things may begin to go wrong in your relationship after that if the approach is not right.
Bracing this topic can wreak a healthy relationship if it is not well handled. And yes telling your partner about an infection is the right thing to do.
It is advised that before you blame your partner for infidelity, have it in mind that some STDs don’t always show up immediately it is contacted.
It is possible that you or your partner got the STD in a previous relationship without even knowing it. Sexually transmitted diseases such as genital herpes, gonorrhea, and HIV have a long incubation period.
While men are asymptomatic to herpes and HPV, women come down with its symptoms just within days of exposure. Women are asymptomatic to gonorrhea while all symptoms are obvious in men once contacted.
If you feel or think you have contacted an STD, first and foremost see a doctor to certify you have an STD and the type before going to your partner.
Start by informing him or her that you went to the doctor because you felt a certain way, and the result returned positive. And as your sexual partner, he/she should get tested too.
Approach the conversation from a medical point of view, even if you suspect your partner is the source of your infection or that infidelity was involved. Your health is very important at this point, even though you will need to have conversations about your relationship later, but for now, both of you need to focus on getting tested and treated.
Avoid out rightly accusing your partner of infecting you with an STD or insinuating “you gave it to me” in whatever guise because that almost never works. Such approach tends to make them angry because such assumptions or insinuations can make them feel attacked.
Imagine being accused by your partner of infecting them with an STD. It is a very witty allegation. And imagine a situation you are being accused when you are 100% faithful to them. That could sink some part of you.
You are likely going to react to such an allegation with verbal attack, withdrawal or even shutting down on your partner because you are being wrongly accused of something you know nothing about.
Explain that it is possible for him or her to have it and not know, so the only way to know, is to go get tested first. If you have a curable STD, both of you will need to be placed on doctor’s prescription.
You also need to take medication if you have STDs such as herpes. HIV cannot be cured but it can be managed. The most important thing is that you and your partner both need to get medical care as soon as possible.
And in case your partner is the promiscuous type and a serial offender who has infected you with all manner of STD in the past and he or she knows they are guilty of your accusation, yet grand stands and won’t admit it, nor even follow you to the Doctor’s for proper medical care, it’s time you reviewed your marriage or relationship.
Having a neutral third party like à doctor during such conversation will be nice because he will be able to answer your partner’s questions calmly and with confidence as well as advice you both appropriately.
Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) affect the body, but living with one can be a strain on a person’s emotions as well. If you have an STD, you might feel alone, but you are not.
Finding out about the STD you are exposed to and taking your medication secretly while your partner continues to wallow in ignorance is nothing but pure wickedness and evil.
It is true that some partners will be offended taking such information out of context, but that shouldn’t deter you from laying bare the truth.
Some will blow hot at first, then calm down later, especially with your approach. It saves you the heart ache of living with the guilt of watching and waiting till their health starts to deteriorate.
With modern medicine and increasing open mindedness, living with a sexually transmitted disease is not the end of the world. Many couples are still happily married, having healthy babies even though some STDs can cause infertility if not treated earlier.
There are many who will still love and stand by you no matter the infection you have. Having this awkward conversation today will not kill you both but STD can kill if left untreated.
If your partner approaches you about an STD, give them all the needed support, it’s also for your own good.