when you are in a relationship, it’s easy to be so clouded by feelings of love that you overlook the red flags alerting you to the fact that something isn’t right. And one of the hardest things for a woman in love to see is when a man’s behavior shows he’s controlling, not caring.
Somewhere along the line, jealousy and possessiveness came to markers of a man’s devotion to a woman, but the truth is those are characteristics of a man who is controlling and will likely become abusive in some form down the line.
Check out these signs to find out if the man you are dealing with is controlling:
He has to know your whereabouts at all times
It is sweet when your man checks on you throughout the day because he misses you so much, it’s controlling when he constantly checks on you all day because he has to know where you are at all times. It means he has issues with insecurity and trust. You are a grown woman and no one should take it upon themselves to keep constant tabs on you.
He always has opinions about your appearance
When you are in a relationship it’s natural to want to look your best for your man. However, when your man always has an opinion about your appearance and strongly suggests that you should change things; it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.
He may come across as just wanting you to look good, but what his behavior is really saying is that you should look exactly how he wants you to. It also suggests that you’re not capable of making decisions regarding your own life.
He makes decisions for you without asking
This is what your parents did for you when you were not old enough or able to decide things for yourself; it is not, however, what your man should be doing.
You are an adult and no man or anyone else for that matter should feel the need to make decisions for you without your input. He shouldn’t commit you to participate in certain events without asking you first.
He gets angry when you don’t do things his way
If your man absolutely loses it when things don’t go his way, especially as it relates to you and your relationship, not only do you need to be on high alert, but you should also know you are likely dealing with a man with anger issues.
He isolates you from family and friends
One of the classic signs of a controlling man is when he wants all of your time and attention and isolates you from your family and friends.
When you are in love, you want to spend time together, but your man should never make you feel guilty about spending time with your loved ones. This behavior also means that he wants to keep you from people who recognize his behavior for what it truly is.
He’s jealous of any man/male attention in your life
When your man loses it when you have any other man in your life or receive any type of positive male attention, you need to quickly step back and reassess your relationship. This is a definite red flag and this type of behavior can only get worse. You should never feel obligated to cut off platonic male relationships or even male family members for a partner.
He doesn’t support anything that takes time away from him
A man who loves you should be your biggest cheerleader as you strive to achieve your goals and dreams. A controlling man, though, is the exact opposite.
Since he wants to control every aspect of your life, he doesn’t support anything you do that takes time away from him and your relationship. This isn’t what love is because he wants to keep you stuck in one place.
He undermines your goals and opinions
Expressing to your man that you have goals or opinions on things, only for him to diminish or dismiss them, is the way he makes you feel like you are worse without him. It’s crucial that you don’t let this happen and that may mean ending the relationship.
He tells you ‘you owe him’
Doing something from the bottom of your heart means that you are not throwing it back in the person’s face to make yourself feel better. However, this is exactly what a controlling man does.
He never misses a chance to remind you that “you owe him” for all of the things he’s done for you. This is supposed to be a relationship, not a match where you are constantly keeping score.
He regularly checks your texts and social media accounts
You definitely have a controlling man if he regularly checks all of your forms of communication because he doesn’t trust you. The larger issue is that he’s likely incredibly insecure and afraid that someone else will catch your attention and you will leave him.