What do you do with the stuff you’re left with after a breakup? Instead of burning or tossing everything when love goes wrong, what if you could make money from those unwanted love relics? Thanks to Annabel Acton, now you can. Acton is the founder of Never Liked It Anyway, the eBay for breakups—it’s the number-one place to buy, sell and tell all things ex. It’s a place to unload stuff and bounce back as your best self. Business blossomed and now there’s a book, the Bounce Back Stack (challenge cards) and she’s working on a TV show. And it all started with her mentoring moment, in her words:
My mentoring moment came in the form of an unexpected breakup. It was just before Christmas and I was meant to fly to London to celebrate the holiday with his family when I suddenly found myself with plane tickets that I no longer had use for. That close to Christmas, my options were limited. Then I started thinking about all this other stuff I had that I no longer wanted: a necklace, artwork we bought together and concert tickets for shows coming up in the new year. It was all still great stuff, I just didn’t want it around anymore.
I started joking with my friends about a website that would let you offload all your breakup baggage so you could make some cash to buy something that would make you feel fabulous again. Everyone laughed and then shared stories of their own—one friend had a Turkish rug she bought on holiday and now didn’t know what do with it and another had a box of jewelry from an ex under her bed that her current fiancée didn’t know about. It seemed breakup collateral was a real problem. Soon after my breakup, my older sister swooped in to cheer me up and brought me the book Why Men Marry Bitches. This led to another aha moment—I was surprised that this was the story we women chose to tell each other. Surely we can do better than this?
I’d been working as an innovation consultant for about ten years and decided to look into the “breakup space.” It seems sordid, but stay with me. Not only was the space completely empty (surprising when online dating is saturated and has $2 billion in annual revenues), it was really jaded. There were two stereotypes happening 1) sit on the sofa in pajamas while watching Bridget Jones and sobbing into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s or 2) unleash your inner crazy and key your ex’s sports car. It felt out of touch, depressing and so far removed from the modern women.
My first-hand experience, my friends’ experiences and my research gave me the confidence to forge ahead and launch Never Liked It Anyway—it’s positive, cheeky and all about moving forward, not moping about. Our sellers share their breakup stories as well as their “Bounce Back Plan” which describes how they plan to spend the money they make. They also tell us the “Real World Price” and the “Breakup Price.” People have sold everything including wedding dresses, engagement rings, Harley Davidsons, BB guns and even a bottle of ketchup.
Unsurprisingly, I often get asked for top tips for moving on from a breakup. Here are some nuggets I’ve picked up over the years.
Don’t Go It Alone. It’s easy to want to hide and shut yourself off to the world, but this makes you much more likely to fall into negative spirals. Let your friends help— that’s what they’re there for and you’d do the same for them!
Banish All Traces. You don’t have to sell or toss reminders of your ex just yet, but make sure they are out of sight. This includes any triggers like music or movies that make you think of that person. Pop them in a shoebox and hide them until you’re ready to really let go.
Lighten Up. Laughter really is the best medicine. Find ways to let laughter in. Make time for comedy nights, improv evenings and your funniest friends.
Try New Things. Break old habits and form new ones. Take up new activities, hobbies and adventures that have no associations with your ex.
Splurge A Little. You don’t have to completely blow the bank, but treat yourself to something fabulous that sends a signal to yourself that you love and respect yourself. Your confidence will radiate to others and they’ll treat you accordingly. Red lipstick is always a good idea—it’s the ultimate, instant confidence booster.
Get Creative. Unleash your imagination and let those emotions fly: paint, write a song, sing and sketch. Whatever you choose, don’t judge, just do it. It’s instant therapy and it’s free.
Get Strong. Avoid smashing tubs of ice-cream and focus on building your physical strength—it’s often easier to build it from the outside in. Walk an extra block, lift an extra weight and take an extra hour of Pilates. You’ll get on a roll faster than you think. (Forbes)