Are you in love? Did you just meet the love of your life? Are you in the beginning stages of a new relationship? Are you worried that you aren’t sure how to make it last? Don’t worry; you don’t need to be afraid of losing the relationship if you approach things the right way.
In this day and age, there are a lot of factors inside and outside a relationship that can influence its outcome negatively or positively. The first thing you should do is to be true to yourself and your partner. Don’t pretend to be comfortable with their negative behaviour and attitude because you don’t want to lose this new love interest. Don’t start what you cannot finish. You shouldn’t start your relationship on lies and deceit, that foundation will crumble sooner or later.
Forget love manuals and relationship blueprints and go with the flow. What this means is simply do not try to plan your relationship based on what you think it should be and how it must go. If you try to do this, the chances that some things are not going to go like you want is pretty high, and that could end what could have been a pretty fulfilling relationship. Some of the best relationships are built on being spontaneous and passionate, and if you try to plan out how it’s going to work, it usually will not.
If you want a lasting relationship, be a good teammate. Being in a relationship is the job of two people who come together in love and decide to go through life together. You cannot expect your partner to do all of the work. This includes general house chores if you live together. It can be draining to actually be the only one to contribute to the relationship physically and emotionally. It’s a two way street, and if it’s only running one way, it’s not going to last.
It is very important to grow as a couple. That is how you find out if that person is the one for you and if you should spend the rest of your lives with them. You can’t be dating someone who doesn’t want you to improve yourself or progress in your career and expect them to make a good spouse if you eventually marry them. You grow as a couple by spending time just talking and bonding with each other and sharing ideas on how to become better people. If you can’t grow or learn to grow in your relationship, it will not last.
You obviously cannot expect to have the all of the same ideas and beliefs as the person you are in a relationship with, so it is important to adapt if you want your relationship to last. If you care about your boyfriend/girlfriend, this step should come pretty easily. Your partner’s little quirks or even religious beliefs may seem like a deal breaker, but if you have the ability to adapt, then your relationship has the amazing ability to go the distance.
I cannot stress this enough, develop your own interests while in a relationship. Don’t assume that your partner’s dreams and interests have automatically become yours. You will lose yourself and then start to resent your partner. You and your partner don’t have to express interest in the same things, you are not Siamese twins. That would also make things really boring. No matter how much you love your partner, have your own separate interests and dreams. This way, you guys will have more things to talk about and even more new things to try in your relationship.
Relationships are not a game, so there is no reason to try to keep score of good deeds. This means, if you do something nice for your partner, or do something to help out, you don’t have to announce it to them just to get brownie points. The same goes for if they make a mistake, or make you mad, you shouldn’t feel the need to hold it against them just to make yourself look better. This is probably one of the top reasons why relationships don’t last. Nobody likes to feel like a loser in a relationship.
What is a relationship without encouragement? I’m sure you don’t want to ever feel held back from doing certain things, or trying new things just because you are in a relationship, and neither does your partner. Make sure you encourage your significant other to achieve any goals. This is why it doesn’t make sense to me why Nigerian men deprive their women the joy of doing things they are passionate about or making their own money and being financially independent. That’s wizardry. If you don’t want your woman to succeed because you are insecure, you should stay alone. Don’t use your reggae to spoil another person’s blues.
If you don’t compliment your partner always, ‘wetin you gain?’ I have heard some women complain that their men are stingy with compliments and I don’t understand why they do this. If you don’t compliment your woman, another man will do it for you. Complimenting your partner is a simple way to show how much you really care about them. If you don’t do it, it could be easy for them to question what they really mean to you, or what you really think of them. Say nice things to your partner and mean them. Don’t compliment your woman only when you want sex, that’s being selfish and manipulative.
Spending time with your partner is always a good thing to help your relationship grow, but giving each other some space every now and then is another important factor in making a relationship last. It gives yourselves time to grow as a person as well as giving you that time to miss each other a little bit. Don’t choke your partner with your presence. Staying glued to each other all the time will make you both bored of your relationship at some point. Think about it.
Don’t forget to say thank you. Don’t take your partner for granted. This is one of the golden rules of a loving and lasting relationship. These simple words can mean a lot to someone. Saying “thank you” is such a simple way to make someone feel as if they are appreciated. Ask yourself this question: would you stay in a relationship if you felt unappreciated?
We have all been in the situation where as much as you don’t want to admit it, you are wrong in some sort of disagreement. Sometimes you should just swallow that pride of yours, and admit that you were wrong. If your partner really cares, they will forgive you. Learn to apologize when you are wrong, it won’t reduce your worth.
If you are in a relationship and you are afraid to speak your mind, you are in prison. If you need to talk about something with your partner, don’t hesitate to say what you need to say. If you are one to beat around the bush and hope that they will pick up on what you are trying to say, you can be lost in translation, which will usually end not in your favour. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind except if you are dating an abusive person who believes you shouldn’t have a say in the relationship.
Forgiveness is an important part of any relationship. Everybody makes mistakes. This is a hard fact of life. If you truly care about the person you are in a relationship with, you have to learn to forgive them for their mistakes. Holding grudges toward one another is very toxic in a relationship, and is definitely not something you want to do if you want your relationship to last.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you should remain with a violent and abusive partner. If you are dating someone who is toxic and abusive, break up with them and run for dear life. They won’t change. Don’t deceive yourself.
Don’t forget to be romantic and affectionate towards your partner. Surprise your partner with gifts from time to time. Plan a special dinner or lunch date often. Do something special to show how much you really care about each other. As redundant as this may sound, it is a really important step in any relationship.