ADVERTISEMENT
The Sun Nigeria
  • National
  • Columns
    • Broken Tongues
    • Capital Matters
    • Diabetes Corner
    • Duro Onabule
    • Femi Adesina
    • Frank Talk
    • Funke Egbemode
    • Insights
    • Kalu Leadership Series
    • Kunle Solaja
    • Offside Musings
    • PressClips
    • Public Sphere
    • Ralph Egbu
    • Shola Oshunkeye
    • Sideview
    • The Flipside – Eric Osagie
    • Tola Adeniyi
  • Business
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • The Sun TV
  • Sporting Sun
  • The Sun Foundation
No Result
View All Result
  • National
  • Columns
    • Broken Tongues
    • Capital Matters
    • Diabetes Corner
    • Duro Onabule
    • Femi Adesina
    • Frank Talk
    • Funke Egbemode
    • Insights
    • Kalu Leadership Series
    • Kunle Solaja
    • Offside Musings
    • PressClips
    • Public Sphere
    • Ralph Egbu
    • Shola Oshunkeye
    • Sideview
    • The Flipside – Eric Osagie
    • Tola Adeniyi
  • Business
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • The Sun TV
  • Sporting Sun
  • The Sun Foundation
No Result
View All Result
The Sun Nigeria
No Result
View All Result
ADVERTISEMENT
Home Features

How we cope raising an only child

• Parents with just one child speak of the highs and lows of bringing up children without siblings

25th September 2021
in Features
0
How we cope raising an only child
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

By Kate Halim

When Mrs. Ifeoma Onyebuchi got married 12 years ago, she pictured a home full of children. But fate had something else in store for her. 

She is the mother of a ten-year-old boy who has tried unsuccessfully for years to have another child. According to her, dealing with secondary infertility is hard and emotionally draining but she has come to terms with her situation. 

Onyebuchi told Saturday Sun that she got married at the age of 17 to the love of her life, a businessman who attended the same church with her parents. It was one of the happiest days of her life. 

“After my wedding, I was prepared to start having children immediately but that didn’t happen. I got pregnant a year later but had a miscarriage. My husband and I were devastated because we wanted children”, she said. 

It was two years, three months after she got married that Onyebuchi welcomed a baby boy into the world. She revealed that her husband was elated and threw a big party to welcome their son. 

Onyebuchi said: “When our son was two years, we started trying for another child but it didn’t happen. Month after month whenever I see my period, I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. My husband started behaving funny towards me too.” 

Onyebuchi stated that she and her husband visited different fertility clinics but after running different tests on them, they were told they were okay. She added that they even tried In-vitro fertilization twice but it failed. 

“Years after trying to have another child to no avail, I have accepted my fate. Maybe God wants me to have only one child. Even though I am not happy about being the mother to an only child, I am grateful I have one,” Onyebuchi added. 

According to Onyebuchi, raising an only child is tough. You get to answer questions about your child not having a sibling. She said that answering those questions breaks her heart. 

“Whenever my son complains about being lonely and having no one to play with, I feel bad. I hide and cry, that is after telling him that I will invite his cousins and friends over to spend time with him,” Onyebuchi stated. 

Recently, Onyebuchi makes sure that her son isn’t lonely. She said that one of her husband’s nephews lives with the family and has bonded well with their son. 

“They attend the same school, eat together, play together, do home works together, go out to buy things together and they even fight and make up. Our son is happier and it makes me glad”, she said.

Mrs. Doris Oladotun’s daughter is 15 years old. She told Saturday Sun that raising an only child is tough. “On one hand, you want to give all your love to your child but on the other hand, you don’t want to over pamper the child or give in to their every demand.”

Oladotun stated that she is at peace with herself knowing that she has done her best trying to have another child but to no avail. After going through different fertility treatments and drinking all manner of herbs, Oladotun is now focused on raising her only child well. 

According to Oladotun, one of the downsides of being the parent of an only child is the constant fear that you might lose your child at any time. “I pray constantly for my daughter to be safe. I pray she lives long in good health and that she lives a fulfilled life,” she added. 

Oladotun noted, however, that one of the good things of parenting an only child is that your attention is not divided and you are fully focused on your child and everything about them. “No matter how protective you are of your only child, you will do good to give your child independence so that they can learn to stand on their own,” she said. 

For Oladotun, having an only child is not an excuse to raise a spoilt brat. She is very firm with her daughter but loves her too. She said she allows her go out with her friends to go watch movies and eat out. 

“Even though I fear for my daughter’s safety sometimes, I allow her mingle with her mates, go out with them and even have sleep overs at her best friend’s house,” Oladotun added. 

Mr. Patrick Okogun’s friends and family members call him names for refusing to marry another woman who will give him children. He said that they believe his wife must have done something to him for him to be content with having only one child, and a daughter for that matter. 

The 46-year-old electronics dealer feels bad when his wife is called a man because they have an only child. Their daughter will be ten in December and it has been a long, hard journey trying to give her siblings. He noted that it has cost him and his wife time, money and emotions. 

According to Mr. Okogun, “My wife had fibroids and she was operated upon five years after she had our daughter. She hasn’t been able to get pregnant ever since and it is affecting our relationship. My wife is now a shadow of herself because of the mean names my family members call her.”

But not being able to have children doesn’t erase the love Okogun has for his wife. He revealed that it’s his duty to love and protect his wife from the snide remarks of his intruding family members. 

On raising an only child, Okogun told Saturday Sun that it is as challenging as raising three or four children. He noted that even though he loves and cherishes his daughter, he is very firm with her. He disciplines her whenever she misbehaves. 

He said: “When people tell me that I shouldn’t be complaining about school fees, feeding and taking care of my daughter because they cater for three to five children, I laugh. I’m giving my daughter the best and it costs the same as the people raising more than one child.”

Pastor Kelvin Odoh, the father of an eight-year-old boy recalls one incident that shook him and made him restless for hours. His son went on an excursion with his school mates when he was in primary two and didn’t come back on time. 

Odoh said his blood pressure rose and he rushed to the school to find out what happened. When he got there, he met other worried parents pacing up and down the school premises waiting for news about their children. 

According to Udoh, it was as if the whole world was on his head. He started feeling sick. He prayed fervently to God to save his son and bring him back home safely. He wasn’t ready to answer unending questions from his wife who had travelled to their village to care for her sick mum, he said. 

“I spent three hours at the school before the children finally arrived. They said their bus broke down and a mechanic had to be called to fix it. The way I hugged my son that day was different. He kept asking me if everything was okay and I said yes”, Udoh added. 

Udoh told Saturday Sun that as a pastor, he can’t question God for giving him only one child. He said he’s thankful that he’s blessed with an intelligent, loving and obedient child. He added that even though some of his church members come to him for prayers for the fruit of the womb and get their miracle babies, he doesn’t still ask God why he can’t have more children. 

Udoh said: “Raising an only child is not easy but I have handed over my son to God to keep, protect and preserve. Even though I fear for him sometimes and worry about his safety, I have learned to constantly commit his life into God’s hands.”

Tags: How we cope raising an only child
Rapheal

Rapheal

Related Posts

Gasping for breath
Features

Gasping for breath

1st February 2023
Festival with difference
Features

Festival with difference

1st February 2023
Basic metrics to consider when selecting stocks
Business

Basic metrics to consider when selecting stocks

1st February 2023
Next Post
Five natural remedies for toothache

Five natural remedies for toothache

Atiku: Who wants to be a Nigerian?

With zero integrity, how can we have confidence in our leaders?

Falconets confident as race to Costa Rica begins in Douala

Falconets confident as race to Costa Rica begins in Douala

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Highlights

2023: Near-stampede as Nkanu East stands still for Mbah’s homecoming

Oil theft: Reps panel grills Interpol boss over “investigation” of whistle blowers

Mo Abudu, Betty Irabor, Funmi Iyanda, others to speak at 2023 self-made woman conference 

2023: IGP flags off sensitisation summit for PCRC women, youths

522,000 PVCs uncollected in Edo – INEC

Don’t succumb to change of naira, fuel scarcity Tinubu charges electorates

Trending

Nigeria Decides 2023 : Disappoint evil manipulators working against Tinubu’s presidency with your votes – Faparusi urges Nigerians
Politics

Nigeria Decides 2023 : Disappoint evil manipulators working against Tinubu’s presidency with your votes – Faparusi urges Nigerians

2nd February 2023
0

...Criticizes CBN over new naira notes redesign From Priscilla Ediare, Ado-Ekiti Hon. Bamidele Faparusi, a chieftain of...

Buhari hails Bello, Tallen at 63

How fragile borders fuel terrorism, sabotage economy, illicit arms flow – Buhari

2nd February 2023
BREAKING: Customs CG raises concerns over meeting N3 trillion target

Terrorism, fiscal policy somersault robbed Nigeria N400bn revenue in 2022 — Customs CG

2nd February 2023
2023: Jim Nwobodo backs Peter Mbah as Enugu governor, Ugwuanyi’s successor

2023: Near-stampede as Nkanu East stands still for Mbah’s homecoming

2nd February 2023
Reps suspend consideration of National Theatre 2022 budget

Oil theft: Reps panel grills Interpol boss over “investigation” of whistle blowers

2nd February 2023
ADVERTISEMENT

Follow us on social media:

Latest News

  • Nigeria Decides 2023 : Disappoint evil manipulators working against Tinubu’s presidency with your votes – Faparusi urges Nigerians
  • How fragile borders fuel terrorism, sabotage economy, illicit arms flow – Buhari
  • Terrorism, fiscal policy somersault robbed Nigeria N400bn revenue in 2022 — Customs CG
  • 2023: Near-stampede as Nkanu East stands still for Mbah’s homecoming
  • Oil theft: Reps panel grills Interpol boss over “investigation” of whistle blowers
  • Mo Abudu, Betty Irabor, Funmi Iyanda, others to speak at 2023 self-made woman conference 
  • 2023: IGP flags off sensitisation summit for PCRC women, youths
  • 522,000 PVCs uncollected in Edo – INEC
  • Don’t succumb to change of naira, fuel scarcity Tinubu charges electorates
  • Sokoto: APC candidate promises to restore allowance to Persons with disability if elected
  • FCT police commissioner deploys personnel on rescue operation following building collapse in Abuja, visits scene
  • NNPCL, Korean firm sign $740m agreement for Kaduna refinery rehabilitation
  • Clark to Okowa: Step down, you are deceitful, traitor
  • We never stopped PDP PCC from campaigning in Rivers – Wike
  • 2023: BOOT senatorial candidate, Edeipo vows to dislodge Alimikhena, Oshiomhole
  • OAU emerges 2nd in new webometric ranking
  • NIGCOMSAT can provide services for all African nations, says Pantami
  • Tension as Appeal court stops INEC from conducting fresh re-run election in Aboh Mbaise/ Ngor Okpala Federal constituency
  • Unavailability of new naira strangulating workers’ standard of living – Labour Union
  • Disqualification: Enugu PDP, candidates know fate Feb. 15

Categories

  • Abuja Metro
  • Anambra Watch
  • Arts
  • Broken Tongues
  • Business
  • Business Week
  • Cartoons
  • Citizen Joe
  • Columns
  • Cover
  • Culture
  • Duro Onabule
  • Editorial
  • Education Review
  • Effect
  • Elections
  • Entertainment
  • Events
  • Features
  • Femi Adesina
  • Food & Drinks
  • Frank Talk
  • Funke Egbemode
  • Gallery
  • Global Square by Kenneth Okonkwo
  • Health
  • Insights
  • Kalu Leadership Series
  • Kunle Solaja
  • Kunle Solaja
  • Letters
  • Lifeline
  • Lifestyle
  • Literary Review
  • Marketing Matters
  • Muiz Banire
  • National
  • News
  • Offside Musings
  • Opinion
  • oriental news
  • Politics
  • Press Release
  • PressClips
  • Public Sphere
  • Ralph Egbu
  • Shola Oshunkeye
  • Sideview
  • South-west Magazine
  • Sponsored Post
  • Sporting Sun
  • Sports
  • Sun Girl
  • Tea Time
  • The Flipside – Eric Osagie
  • The Sun Awards Live
  • The Sun TV
  • Thoughts & Talks
  • Time Out
  • Today's cover
  • Tola Adeniyi
  • Travel
  • Travel & Tourism
  • Trending
  • TSWeekend
  • Turf Game
  • Uncategorized
  • Updates
  • Views from Abroad
  • Voices
  • World
  • World News
  • About Us
  • Paper Ad Rate
  • Online Ad Rate
  • Change of Name
  • The Team
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy

© 2019 The Sun Nigeria - Managed by Netsera.

No Result
View All Result
  • National
  • Columns
    • Broken Tongues
    • Capital Matters
    • Diabetes Corner
    • Duro Onabule
    • Femi Adesina
    • Frank Talk
    • Funke Egbemode
    • Insights
    • Kalu Leadership Series
    • Kunle Solaja
    • Offside Musings
    • PressClips
    • Public Sphere
    • Ralph Egbu
    • Shola Oshunkeye
    • Sideview
    • The Flipside – Eric Osagie
    • Tola Adeniyi
  • Business
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • The Sun TV
  • Sporting Sun
  • The Sun Foundation

© 2019 The Sun Nigeria - Managed by Netsera.