That’s not quite good English, but Nigerians would understand it. Which is all that matters right now. The expression is, most often than not, deployed lightheartedly to show frustration or disgust. It’s a humorous, simplistic euphemism that is fast gaining traction.
Every Nigerian in Nigeria must have uttered or contemplated this decision at one point or the other. It could have been occasioned by the crass epilepsy that electricity supply is. Or the near-impossible difficulty to get basic things done in the country. Or, the crying shame that most people in government and sundry high places of trust and honour are -but don’t go there.
In running away therefrom though, it makes sense to get a sense of how easy or otherwise it is to be deputy in Nigeria. Since this is today one of the sub-themes hereunder, we cannot and should not belabour the point. But, suffice it to say that only 2 per cent of Nigerians in the position of deputy are successfully, happily and respectably so. If you find that too much an exaggeration, please forgive me: I have never been good at figures!
Yet, there is no denying this fundamental truth as well as, on the other hand, the analogous surrealism between our caption and the Nigerian deputy. I am not doing again. By the way, this is not only about me. It has been personalised to make ownership easy for everyone.
I am not doing again. The world is not looking for good nor better let alone excellent. Stop arguing and look around. Are good, better, best occupying where they should?
I am not doing again. The world is not looking for hard work; is not looking for diligence; is not looking for persistence. Instead of eyeing me like that, counter with verifiable stronger proofs. Mediocrity, clannishness, nepotism, laziness and the other vices of corruption are on the prowl!
I am not doing again. The world is not looking for peace, nor love, nor humility. Rather than making faces which I consider an unnecessary cold protestation, it behoves you to flaunt even one Nigerian for example sent for further studies abroad because such a one chose peace over militancy, love over hate, humility over pride. No, the trophies -all of them- are in the eternal possession of those who took them by force.
I am not doing again. The world is not looking for truth, not for honesty, not for trustworthiness. Shut up, just shut up issa issa (Akwa Ibom word for ‘that thing’) except you can prove otherwise and beyond every reasonable and unreasonable doubt. Are we all not living witnesses to and accomplices in the dastardly ways we celebrate untruths, liars and fakers?
I am not doing again. The world is not looking for friendship, not altruism, not empathy. No need to waste time arguing with anyone who contests this. Such a one is not a friend, and is neither altruistic nor empathetic which is the only explanation for the blind failure to see and accept naked reality.
I am not doing again. The world is not looking for help; the world is not looking for value; the world is not looking for more. Go and argue on your wall, as social media users are wont to say. The world awards and rewards only those who amass.
I am not doing again. The world is not looking for that one true religion, faith or belief system. As all of those who believe in everything or nothing gather here and rant, I wonder aloud: what do I even know? Look at them, questioning their very essence and doubting The Very One without whom they would never have existed!
Alas, in the foregoing lies the folly of I am not doing again. Why and for whom do I do good or live peaceably? Have I kept right in traffic all my life because that’s the correct thing to do or was all of that mere public showmanship to evade the trouble of the law and attract acclaim; meaning that without the fear of the law or the hope of public applause, I would have kept left? Waxing spiritual, if I say it is all because of God but grumble or complain about delay, is that not a deeper rot?
In rounding off, let’s all note that whatever we do is essentially for or against us. The consequences and implications of whether I am doing again or I am not doing again are entirely mine. It was so in the past; it is so now; it shall forever be so. God bless Nigeria!
How easy being deputy in Nigeria?
I have been ruminating on this vexed question, quite a while. Recently, a younger friend of mine somewhere in the southern part of the country who watches government from inside raised the matter with me. It felt good to know that some of our youngsters are themselves, no matter the political exposure.
That encounter compelled me to bring it up here. But, please, don’t be too self-righteous: this is not targeted at just the political class. Looking also at the non-governmental or informal structure of leadership, do deputies fare any better?
Specifically, does the deputy head of your village enjoy the role? Is he respected, carried along and given proper treatment commensurate with the office by the village head, the ruling family, village council and the entire community? Or, all you have is graveyard peace; everyone keeping a straight face?
What about that deputy vice chancellor, that vice principal, that assistant headmistress? Is (s)he aware of the goings-on in own office and within the jurisdiction? Is (s)he sidelined because of a perception or something someone did or said or wrote or reported?
Closer home, can we talk now about the assistant pastor and -if it exists- deputy imam? Why do we allow Nigeria to force its divisive character and dishonourable ego on the church et al? Why can’t the pastor and his second-in-command coexist?
What examples are we teaching, with our crass hypocrisy all over the place? People are watching us. It is not a prayer but we should know that we shall receive in full the same treatment we give a deputy.
60 Days of Glory
Many thanks, the Daminas and the Power City International family for inviting me to anchor the daily all-media global outreach; 27 years on air, I am not sure I’ve had this much fulfilment.
And, to the virtual congregation (if I can call you that) it is just beautiful connecting with you and getting such humongous feedback, on the spot. Please, stay tuned and lifted!