Linus Oota, Lafia
The marital union, which 37-year-old Sunday Numko had hoped to establish with his former course mate and girlfriend, Mary Adamkua, crashed on wedding day, in church, when guests were already seated and waiting for the nuptial service to start at St John’s parish, Nasarawa State.
Numko who hails from Doma Local Government Area, Nasarawa State and holds a Diploma in Business Management from the Nasarawa State Polytechnic, Lafia, and Mary met as course mates in the same department at the polytechnic. A romantic relationship developed between them and they dated for one year and seven months, when the idea of getting married to each other came up. However, good reason prevailed as they decided to postpone marriage till after the completion of their diploma programmes.
Interestingly, Numko is an only child. His parents died in an auto-crash 15 years ago while Mary is the only daughter of her parents. While her father is late, Mary’s mother is alive. While in school, the relationship between Numko and Mary blossomed to the point of intimacy. As Mary told Sunday Sun, Numko never experienced “network failure” during their romantic trysts until one month before the planned wedding, when he suddenly became impotent.
Recalling the horrific discovery, Mary said: “His manhood stop performing, we did everything humanly possible to no avail. I was worried but did not disclose it to anybody until the day of the wedding, when I shared my worries with my mum. It was difficult for us arrive at the decision we took about the situation.”
She recalled the good memories of their days as students at the polytechnic, after they were introduced by a mutual friend, who told her that Numko could help with notes she missed on the first day of resumption. Mary pleasantly discovered that Numko had very good handwriting and was very good in Mathematics. They became best friends and inseparable.
Hear Mary: “Sometimes a good and intelligent person could be very attractive. Days and weeks passed and he became my go to person for clarifications. We studied together before tests and exams. We were inseparable and did everything together.
“Gradually, one thing led to another and he started toasting me. We were bound together and in love. He proposed marriage to me and we agreed to do that after our diploma programme. In the course of time I discovered that he was very good in bed and he satisfied me sexually. Honestly, apart from his intellect, his performance in bed was among the factors that attracted me to him.
“I am the only daughter of my parents, my father died during the crisis that engulfed the state in 2001. I am from Keana Local Government Area, Nasarawa State. My mother struggled to sponsor my education with the proceeds from her petty business and she was looking forward to my getting married and giving birth to her grandchildren. Having grandchildren has been her dream and that is the essence of marriage. Numko was sexually fit until late November 2018, when his manhood started failing. Meanwhile our wedding had been fixed for Saturday, January 5, 2019.
“I was very worried because he became impotent at the time of paying the bride price, but I kept hoping that the problem would go away. By the time we got to January 5, and situation had not improved, I decided to tell my mother the whole story. She became scared as we prepared to go leave for the church service. She consulted some people and resolved that I could not go for the marriage oath.
“I have no regrets over this decision even though I love him very well. Numko is very caring but I cannot afford to marry an impotent man. Although the elders of our village have already shared the money paid as bride price among themselves, and we cannot go to them to retrieve the various sums, however, my mother will pay back the bride price. The whole amount he spent as bride price was N190,000.”
‘I know where my trouble started’
Lamenting over the turn of events, the jilted groom, Sunday said: “I know where my problem came from; a man in my village whose wife I dated for four years is behind my predicament. I believe I am responsible for the birth of her firstborn child. The issue generated crisis and the man swore to revenge. I didn’t know that this was what he intended to do. I regret sleeping with his wife.
“He got me through a charm by using one of my old trousers. When my manhood stopped functioning, I consulted a native doctor somewhere in Benue State and he told me that the man I was sleeping with his wife in my village was behind it. He advised me to go and beg him, but the man denied being responsible when I confronted him.
“I’m confused about life; my parents are not alive. I struggled alone to train myself because my uncles were very poor and could not help me. My dream in life was to get married and bear children after completing my education and settling down. But now I have lost the chance.
“It was the man’s wife that actually “toasted” me and I fell for it and then found it difficult to walk away even after the man had discovered our illicit affair and told everybody in the village about it. I completely regret my action.”
Though unhappy with the way events turned out, the mother of Mary, Mrs Patricia Adamkua makes no pretence about her stand on the decision to abort the marriage between her daughter and Numko. She said: “No on desires a bad and unhappy marriage; you don’t venture into marriage to dilly dally. Once you take the marriage oath, you and your husband must be ready and sure that you can ride out the tides and weather the storms of life. I took the decision to save my daughter’s future.
“I want to see my grandchildren; how can my daughter marry an impotent man? If she had told me about the problem early before that day, we wouldn’t have gotten to that level. I don’t have any problem with him. I did not disapprove of him, when my daughter introduced him. But the truth is that my daughter is too young for that kind of sacrifice. I will not allow it. She will get another husband at the right time,” she said
Mr Joseph Kwaghterver, who was accused of being behind the Numko’s denied any knowledge of it, saying, “The man did not mean well for me. He ate food that was not meant for him. I’m an old man and I don’t know anything about his impotency. Anyway, let him carry his cross.”
The catchiest of the church, where the wedding service was billed to hold, Mr. Thomas told Sunday Sun: “She knew about this for over one month and did not inform us, yet they were coming here regularly for marriage course and she waited till the last movement to reveal this. Considering the resources and efforts put into planning the aborted wedding. Besides this, you should consider the emotional, psychological and social implications of her action. It has been harrowing and traumatic. I can’t say much about the issue, she has a genuine case but approached it wrongly, by not telling us.”