I get many letters with the subject line reading: “He/she treats me very badly, do you think he/she loves me?”
I have decided to focus on this subject in the next few weeks because it is important that before we think about how we are being treated, we ought to think about how we are treating ourselves. After all, what you give out is what you receive. Inner peace and joy come from within so that if you internalize these two things, you are likely to exhibit them outwardly so that people around you are attracted to you, just like magnets attract iron.
What do I mean, you may ask? To answer how well you are treating yourself, your answer will have a direct impact on the person you attract. Self care is about what goes into your body, how well you rest, exercise, eat, pray, meditate and the like. It is not just about manicures and pedicures, although those are important too.
Do you go to the doctor often for your routine medical checkups? If you are not caring for yourself in a sacred manner realizing that you are very important to you, then how do you expect someone else to care for you? You are what you give out. Are you a worrisome, angry, irritable, never happy person? This is what others will see too and will likely not genuinely treat you right. On the contrary, if they know that you are meticulous about your happiness, joy, relaxation, stress free level and health, they are likely to tread with caution when dealing with you.
Let go of excess baggage. Don’t bring old baggage into a new relationship. Refrain from comparing the past relationships with the present one. That one is past and it was not great which is why you abandoned it. Concentrate on the great things you feel about this new relationship. Enjoy it while it lasts.
It is important to embrace the people you love and who love you. Accept the support that friends and family want to give to you. You don’t need to be a Superman or superwoman. It is not necessary to always prove that you can. Sometimes, relax and let someone take care of you. Say yes to assistance. Learn how to communicate in a way that he/she understands. Everyone learns and understands differently. Be patient with your partner so that he or she can understand you enough to communicate.
In other words, learn to give the love you want, first with yourself, and then transfer to the lover. It will be hard for him/her not to reciprocate. You can’t give what you don’t have and you can’t receive what you don’t give. Love and attraction are two-sides of the same coin. They complement each other. You exude love, you receive attraction to you.
That man who admires you from a distance will soon make a move. You know why? He admires your smile, your comportment, your kindness, your patience and your gentle nature. Those are powerful magnets that draw others to you.
Go on, treat yourself excellently well and watch how your lover begins to treat you.
More on this next week. Feel free to ask your questions using the email: [email protected].
I would love to hear from you again.
ν Dr. NJ