I like to watch Wrestling. It is one of those sports I watch for fun. I find it really entertaining and educating. But trust Nigerians, they want to shame you with everything, from your physical appearance, family back ground, relationship, marital status, marriage, health, age, food, entertainment etc.
They start by telling me that wrestling is staged, that it is not real. I didn’t ask or seek their opinion. They would laugh and tease me whenever I watch or talk about it. They say “watch UFC or boxing instead. Those are real sports!” Mind you, these two sports they desperately want me to dump wrestling for are brutal sports where humans pummel each other. People sustain various degrees of injuries from broken nose, jaws, teeth, ribs, and swollen lips to disfigured faces.
Two years ago, I suffered serious waist problem. I dislocated my waist in the process of lifting my sick mother. I was reeling in pain for months while on Doctor’s prescription and undergoing physiotherapy. I could barely sit, stand nor walk for long. It was that bad.
Some people out of concern ask what happened to me and when I tell them that I have a waist problem, some of them just start rambling. They tell me not to say that again. They ask if I’m married or if I have been pregnant before? They go: “Small pikin like you, don’t even say it to the hearing of any man that you have waist pain. No man in his right senses will like to be associated with a single lady with waist problem”.
Some even went as far as telling me…”When you get pregnant you will understand the true meaning of waist pain.’ I was dumbfounded!
How can people be this insensitive? What a way to undermine my experience, and downplay my pain and suffering. I should hide my pain because I’m single and yet to birth a child? Marriage, pregnancy and birthing children should be my only source of pain and bragging right?
Unfortunately, a lot of people fall for those who shame them because the world today runs in such a way that there’s so much influence to the point where one’s thoughts, ideas and initiatives are either drowned or swallowed up by what is common and popular.
You directly or indirectly allow people around you, which include your friends, colleagues, relatives and even the media to make decisions for you in your journey through life. It is more like people crave for acceptance and long to belong, because they hate to be different. They want to identify with the majority because it is psychologically safer to be with the majority, so they just follow popular trends. It doesn’t matter if what is trending is not the best for them, as long as it is popular; they just go with the flow.
This is the reason they want me to stop watching my favorite television programme or talking about what I love or what I’m going through just so they don’t look down on me. I should give up that which entertains me or stay put in a marriage full of violence because of how people perceive it or what they will say if I leave.
I should allow people decide for me the definition of fun, happiness and pain. Then what is my life worth? What does living mean to me? Who is really in charge of my life? Why should I be afraid to live the life I want?
Stop subjecting your life to popular opinions and crowd mentality which most times is not the correct and the best for you. Having a life is knowing why you exist. Stop self sabotaging. I believe people should have less opinion on how the next man should live their lives or share testimonies of their struggles as long as their choices are not self-destructing.
Listen! My name is Amaka Nicholas and I have a mind of my own. I’m different in the way I look at life and my own expectations of life. I can never let another person define my happiness or pain. This is the reason I always do me. I seek to live life on my own terms. I’m not doing what everyone else is doing. We are unique and designed differently, so I don’t expect you to live your life like mine. And it is important I respect your choices and decisions as well.
Variety they say is the spice of life. Imagine a world where everyone does same things. Boring right? So, Stay true to your African Magic channels, don’t let anyone persuade you to watch Foreign movies you don’t enjoy or understand what they are saying because of perceptions.
I have come to realize overtime that a lot of people are shallow and they are trying so hard to define what fun, happiness and pain should mean. They are constantly trying so hard to impose their own definition on others. Do not let anyone look down on you because what you love and want to do appear less popular.
Have a mind of your own, do things that give you joy as long as it does not affect another person negatively. Say how you feel when you are not feeling well and don’t die in silence. When you live a life of bandwagon, you will suffer low self-esteem, live in constant unhappiness; be insecure and always seek validation or approval of others.
Those who dare to be different are those who add value to humanity and make generational impact that sparks a change. Be different!