I have heard many men claim indecent dressing is the cause of the rising rape cases in Nigeria. They blame victims of rape for exposing their bodies. They claim it is not easy for men to control themselves. They advise women to cover up to avoid getting raped. Are these men indirectly saying that men are animals who lack self control?
This is typical of Nigerian men. It is not new. This society is so warped that instead of focusing on perpetrators of crimes, people blame their victims for attracting the wrath of the people who hurt them and sometimes kill them. It is like saying someone deserves to be robbed and killed because they didn’t lock their doors and their action attracted armed robbers.
This same scenario played out during the Port Harcourt serial killer incidents. Men blamed women for getting killed. They called these victims prostitutes and slay Queens who got what they deserved. These men showed no sympathy for other people’s children being killed by an animal until the young man who killed these ladies was arrested.
For two weeks, the news of rapists turned killers is everywhere and as usual, Nigerian men are blaming women for getting raped and killed. Some said indecent dressing attracts rapists. Others said some of these ladies may have been eating these men’s money without giving them sex back in return so they took it by force.
There were some men saying that rape is not bad and women should stop making a big deal out of nothing. A young man said that women should stop struggling with their rapists so that these men won’t kill them. Another guy said he would rape any lady who turns him down just to teach her a lesson and another one said rape doesn’t happen in isolation and that rape victims play a part in their attack. Sighs.
Indecent dressing is not the cause of rape, rapists are. Rapists rape because they feel entitled to women’s bodies. Rapists take women by force because they feel like it and because it makes them feel powerful. They also do this because they know this society doesn’t punish rapists.
To rape a woman is to control her and we know that Nigerian men are good at controlling women. Nigerian men feel entitled to women’s attention, time and love. This is why a young man will hatch a plan with his friends to rape a young lady who rejected his advances. Did indecent dressing cause that too? No.
This is why a man will force himself on a woman looking for employment and turn around to blame her for seducing him instead of accepting that he’s less than an animal for taking advantage of someone who is seeking for a constant means of livelihood.
Men rape women in their own homes. Many women and girls are raped at home, did they seduce their attackers with their dressing too? Were these women raped in their homes indecently dressed too? Some men rape grandmothers, widows and toddlers in their homes and even have the effrontery to ask them why they are not wet so that they can have easy access to their vaginas.
Are these victims dressed indecently too? Did they seduce their attackers too? Did they attract rape while in the comfort of their own homes? Did they put themselves in positions where these men would easily have access to them and rape them? No.
Men rape women because they know they will get away with it in this society and blame the victims. These rapists thrive on the silence of their victims. They enjoy taking women by force because they know Nigerians will justify their beastly actions with their victims indecent dressing.
22-year-old Vera Uwaila Omozuwa, microbiology student had her whole life ahead of her. She was determined to study and make something of her life but her dreams were cut short by murderous rapists and her head bashed in with a fire extinguisher. Did this lady dress indecently inside a church too to be raped and killed?
18-year-old student Barakat Bello was raped and murdered in her home in Ibadan. She was discovered in the pool of her own blood. She was a Muslim and dressed according to the tenets of Islam. It means she was well covered from head to toe. Was she indecently dressed too in her own home? Did she also attract rape with her dressing?
A 25-year-old young man named Wasiu Bankole raped a 70-year-old Grandma in her home and blamed alcohol for his action. It is funny that the alcohol didn’t push him into oncoming vehicles but he had sense enough to break into the woman’s room, pin her down and rape her. What an animal!
Another 25-year-old young man Ezekiel Yunana was arrested in Niger State for raping an 85-year-old Grandma. He broke into her room, demanded for money and when she couldn’t raise the money he demanded, he raped her.
He raped her for hours until her grandson rescued her. Was this helpless Grandma in her room dressed indecently too? Did she attract rape by staying in her room? Did she seduce her attacker too?
Were the toddlers and children who were raped dressed indecently too? Did they visit their attackers and created opportunities for these men to rape them? Did they seduce their rapists too? Why should men rape children and toddlers and indecent dressing is blamed instead of punishing the animals who go about committing crimes?
These men who claim indecent dressing is the cause of rape travel abroad and see scantily clad women and girls but they don’t touch them or rape them. They won’t try it over there because they know that they will be punished severely. These men only make such silly excuses in Nigeria because this society is lawless.
The sad thing is that Men rape women to exert control over them. Men rape women because they lack self control. Men rape women because they feel entitled to women’s bodies. They feel they have the right to touch women without consent. Men rape women because they know there’s no stiff punishment for rapists in Nigeria.
What about guys who rape other guys? Are these guys indecently dressed too? Did they seduce these men too? Did they ask to be raped through their dressing? Did they visit their rapists with the intention of seducing them? Let’s learn to ask the right questions. Let face culprits and stop blaming victims.
Indecent dressing is not the cause of rape, rapists are. Men should stop raping women. Men should leave women’s bodies alone. Men should stop feeling entitled to women’s bodies. Men should advise other men to stop raping women and stop giving their gender a bad name. Men should stop behaving like animals.
Nigerian parents should raise their sons properly and stop unleashing their badly raised sons on other people’s innocent daughters. Rape is evil. Rape is a crime. Rape is not something to joke with. Rape destroys lives. Parents, teach your sons not to rape. Nigerians, stop justifying rape.
Re: Where is safe for women and girls in Nigeria?
Kate, I lack the vocabulary to express the pains rape victims go through. My heart bleeds seeing and hearing the atrocities men perpetrate against women and girls in our land. Why are we so animalistic, wicked and heartless? Why do we behave as if it is a crime to be a woman in our society?
Men with morals, the fear of God and high sense of justice with gender sensitive inclination need to rise up with vigour to bring our randy brothers to justice, end this crime against women and also redeem men’s image which is now at zero level.
-Pst. Stephen, Abuja
Kate, I’m with you all the way on this issue of rape. I’m a man who respects the woman’s body. A woman’s body is sacred. Any man who rapes a woman is a beast and if I had my way, there will be a death penalty for all of such men.
-Daniel Tsegba, Lagos
It is time State Assemblies and National Assembly enact laws concerning rape matters and let the law be death sentence for anyone caught doing such an evil act. The ugly trend is becoming an embarrassment to the nation and something must be done to put an end to this ugly trend.
-Chika Nnorom, Umukabia
As I read your article last week, I felt bad. Sadly I can’t find answers to the questions on your mind, on my mind and in the minds of every woman and girl child out there. Where indeed is safe for women and girls in Nigeria? Where can we find a haven from all there torment and harassments? We now sleep with one eye closed; body asleep but mind still awake and restive. Who can give us soothing answers us pertaining this matter? I dare such a one to get up and state it clear to the hearing of us all. Is there really a solution to this problem? Shouldn’t rape be considered a pandemic just as the horrible COVID-19. COVID-19 kills, Rape destroys lives. Are they not equal as they are real? This is really saddening.
-Saviour Grace, Imo State
Nowhere is safe for women and girls in Nigeria. This issue is getting out of hands. This is another epidemic. Men are ought to control themselves even though it’s not an easy task to see women expose their bodies in public. Women are expected to cover their private regions. No sane man will rape a lady unless he is under the influence of a certain thing.
Kate, I bleed in my heart anytime l hear or read stories about rape, especially children being raped. These men are beasts and should be treated as such when ever apprehended. I condemn such acts with all the seriousness it deserves. May the Lord redirect the devilish instincts of these men to something more beneficial.
Kate, you are an agent of change who preaches reform with your pen. The latest news of rape and killings in some parts of the country against females is satanic. Why must this gender suffer in the hand of these sex perverts? Females, are weaker vessels and must be protected. Strigent laws must be legislated to nip this evil trend in the bud while these hydra headed whoremongers parading as men should be punished.
Kate, thank you for using your column to raise awareness for the evil perpetrated against women and girls by wicked men in this country. The fact that some men justify rape with indecent dressing and dating two guys at a time shows you the kind of animals some parents have raised.
Many men don’t regard women as anything aside boobs and vaginas. They see women as objects to satisfy their sexual urges and this new dimension of raping and killing victims is scary. I have two daughters and I’m always scared for their safety. We are living in dangerous times.
Government at different level need come up with a new law regarding rape if we want to stop this madness on time. These rapists deserve to die by hanging if found guilty of their crimes. Death to rapists!
Mrs. Uchechukwu Obiamalu, Awka