Nigerian women need to stop dating insecure men. These men bring nothing but drama, missed opportunities to progress, tears, regrets and more drama. I don’t understand why young ladies allow insecure men destroy their lives and future because they have the misfortune of dating them.
Dear woman, if you are dating a man who is not interested in seeing you grow, improve and succeed, dump him fast. He will destroy your life. If you make the mistake of marrying such a man, you will spend your years walking on egg shells so as not to offend him. You won’t also make progress because he will emotionally blackmail you to give up opportunities so that he can remain in your life.
As a woman living in Nigeria, if you continue to listen to people who tell you that it’s normal for a man to stop his woman from making money and being successful, you won’t live a fulfilled life. If you are still living your life just to please a man and society, you will waste your time on earth. You can’t please this society, you will drain yourself. You must decide to live for you and do the things that bring you joy and money.
Money is very important. Woman, make money. Your money is your power. If you don’t have money, you will put up with all kinds of abuse. If you are not financially independent, you will become an abusive man’s plaything. If you don’t pursue your dreams, build your career, build your business, you will end up with regrets. You can do all these things if you know how to spot insecure men and shut them out of your life.
Even though most men would not admit it, the truth is that they have fragile egos, suffer from deep-rooted insecurities, have low self-esteem, afraid of being dumped by women, scared of independent and strong-willed women that they can’t manipulate. This is why they are always quick to threaten unyielding women with dying single in their fathers houses.
I have heard many stories about men who stopped their wives from working because they feel threatened by these women’s progress to last me a lifetime. The sad thing is that this society calls this sickening behaviour normal but expect women to die supporting their men’s dreams. Read this story as shared by Kyrian Chiemelie Offor and understand why women need to stay far away from insecure men.
“She reached out to me repeatedly in my inbox. It was a cry for help. Hello, I see you are a filmmaker and a writer. I am an actress and I will really do love to work with you. I have come to one or two of your movie auditions, but unfortunately, I wasn’t picked. Kyrian, please, tell me what it takes and I will do it. I am a good actress. Check the videos these are the job I have done. I promised I will do it.”
A few weeks later, I saw the messages. I read through, watched the clips, and apologized for responding late.
“I just watched the short clips you sent. You are a wonderful actress and thank you for reaching out to me. But currently, everyone is trying to balance during this pandemic era, if something comes up I will hit you up.”
“Thank you so much and thank you for responding. I really do appreciate it.”
“You are welcome.”
Nearly three weeks later, she sent another message.
“Mr. Kyrian, I don’t mean to disturb you, I just feel to remind you again about what we discussed earlier. I am tired of staying at home. Give me a movie job or recommend me to your colleagues let me act, please. No matter the kind of acting, I will do it. I just want to be leaving the house.”
I read through and felt for her and still told her when anything comes up I will reach out to her.
Fortunately, two weeks later, I got a call to be a head writer of some certain production and the assistant director.
After the round table script conference filled with august company, where I also told them I have someone who can interpret the lead character since the known faces are going to play the subordinates.
I showed them her video clips she sent to me from the movies she had acted. They were impressed and the Executive Producer asked me to please contact her for the roles.
I was thrilled, too. I made huge changes in the scripts that took me two weeks when I was done. I reached out to her.
“Hi. Nice to speak with you again. There is a job coming. A series. We want you to play the lead character amidst the celebrities we are using? Can you do it? Would you be okay to be on set for a maximum of three weeks we are shooting?”
She came online after a few minutes and read through. She replied.
“Wow. Yes, yes, I can. What am I doing at home? Yes, I am fully interested when is it taking place?” “We’re shooting, soon.” I gave her a call-up date.
The day came. Script rehearsal began. A two days rehearsal. She was exceptionally good outshining some of the known actors on set.
Then, the shoot began. Everything was smooth. Four days later after we started shooting, we were all taking a break that night in our various lodge when her text message came in.
“I am sorry I cannot be able to continue with your production.” My heart thumped when I saw the message.
I quickly placed a call to her but there was no response. I called again but she wasn’t picking. I quickly reached out to my team, and showed them saw her message.
We were meant to shoot that night and she was the lead actress for crying out loud, which she had already begun doing.
The jobs were saved on the hard drives and the editor had already started editing them. Meaning, there was no possible way we could change her.
It meant that if she stopped the shoot the project was as good as dead and money wasted because we couldn’t replace her.
We kept calling her and finally, someone picked, a man. We introduced ourselves. I told him that we need to speak with the owner of the phone.
He said three words: “She is sleeping.” We pleaded that it was urgent. Finally, the phone was given to her. The production manager said.
“What happened? Why did you leave the set without informing anybody not even informing me. She said: “The guy you guys first spoke with refused me to continue with the production. He is my boyfriend.”
The producer of the job said: “I don’t understand. We have already started this job now and we can’t change you anymore. You told us that no matter what it takes, you will finish this job. Why would you say that your boyfriend said you shouldn’t act?”
She said: “I have been begging him, he refused. He said he is not comfortable with the men in the production that they are all handsome including the celebrity ones, he can’t afford to lose me. He said the production is mostly filled with men.”
I shook my head and since the phone was on loudspeaker I spoke. “Can we speak to your boyfriend? She said in the background. “Honey, they want to speak with you.”
We heard his voice. “I am not speaking with anybody, you are not leaving this house, that’s what I know.”
The director said: “Bro, we know you can hear us, but let’s tell you something. We have started this job with your girlfriend and if she doesn’t finish this job, the money we invested in this production is good as wasted because if we start to replace her we have to start afresh and we don’t have that money. We have spent not less than 2 million naira like this. So, please help us. Nobody is snatching your girlfriend from you. Let’s just do this like mature men. You can even come to watch her if you are not comfortable leaving her all alone here.”
There was no response. The lady said in the background. “Honey, please.” He yelled.
“I said you are not leaving this house. If you go back to that set just know that you are not coming back to the house again. From there, go back to your village. Idiot.”
The lady then told us: “I am sorry there’s nothing I can do. My boyfriend has spoken. Please, you guys should try and use someone else.” She hung up.
Everybody was weak. The executive producer was already irate, he couldn’t believe it and the whole blame was all on me who brought her in the first place.”
Women must stay away from insecure men who are possessive, excessively jealous, paranoid and unreasonable if they want to live peaceful lives. It is not by force to be in a relationship. You are better off alone than being with a man who doesn’t want you to be useful to yourself and to make progress in life.