People have issues with trust in their relationships for many different reasons. Some people were victims of infidelity. Others experienced rejection after falling in love. Some never really learned how to trust anyone.
Trust is essential in healthy relationships. If you don’t have it, you won’t feel satisfied with anyone you date. But the men and women who spoke to Effects revealed why they would or would not date someone they don’t trust.
Anita: If there is no trust, there will be no happiness
It is difficult to date someone you don’t trust because you will lose your inner peace dealing with such a person all the time. I can’t be with a man I don’t trust because dealing with suspicions and unnecessary explanations is not my thing. I will get irritated having a relationship with a man I don’t trust and this will affect us. For me, trust is important in relationships. If there is no trust, there will be no happiness.
Florence: I can be with someone who I don’t completely trust
It’s hard to know who you can and can’t trust in this day and age. It’s often the people you think you can trust that you can’t and vice versa. In my opinion, it really depends very highly on what exactly it is that you don’t trust in your partner.
I believe everybody has undesirable traits. We often do our best to hide what we think are our undesirable traits at the beginning of any relationship. We know and believe these to be undesirable ourselves so we are embarrassed to let the potential other half in on them until there’s a little solid ground.
Often this can cause problems because we are scolded or judged for holding out on these things for too long or for letting them be known too early. Each person in this world is very different as is each scenario when it comes to relationships etc. People should all try to be as honest as possible so as not to waste their partner’s time or hurt them.
I can be with someone who I don’t completely trust. Depending on what it is you do not trust. I can’t be with someone who I feel would steal my money or belongings for example. But I actually do not, have never and probably never will fully 100% trust another human being. I can love them and try to grow with them and build a trust between us.
Daniel: It is possible to build trust even if it’s not present
A trust where there would never be a reason to have to hide anything because there would never be any judgment from one to the other because what my partner and I have is so much more than any of that is the kind of trust I want in my relationship.
It is possible to build trust even if it’s not present initially. It can take time, effort and it can be a lot of hard work and commitment but that’s what relationships are about. It is the good things in life that we need to work for. No person is perfect and no person has a completely perfect past.
If you love someone, then open up, let them in and give them a chance. It could be the best thing you ever did because you have given yourself a chance to love and be loved. But if it turns out later that you really can’t trust your partner, then so be it. It is better to have lived and lost than never to have loved.
Oluchukwu: I can date a woman I don’t trust
I have lied about silly things that didn’t even need to be lied about and I have hidden things I have been embarrassed to tell others. This does not make me a bad person or a liar. This makes me human. I will reveal all there is to know about me in good time to the woman I am dating now.
All I can ask of the woman in my life is that she gives me a chance. Whatever happens next we will work out as a team not as two individuals drilling the other with how we think they should be acting or living or whatever.
For me, acceptance, respect, understanding and love that’s all that is needed in order to form a beautiful relationship that will be based on a mutual trust which we will build together.
I can date a woman I don’t trust but I have to know why I don’t trust her. If I can’t deal with it anymore, I will break up with her but if I can deal with her excesses and weaknesses, we will always have each other.
Priscilla: I can date a man I don’t trust if he’s willing to work on himself
I believe people makes mistakes and can be forgiven but not everyone deserves that because some people can be manipulative. I will give my relationship my best. If there are trust issues between my boyfriend and I and there is enough love for us to want to work on it together, then we will it work.
But if he continues to be deceitful, I will dump him. Life is way too short to be babysitting an adult who has refused to grow up when there are plenty men out there that would love to be mine.
Jane: Lack of trust led to many arguments in my relationship
I didn’t trust the man I’m currently dating for more than half of our relationship span. I now trust him but I still have little doubts here and there. Can you be with someone you don’t trust? Yes, I love him but didn’t trust him. Although, this is how I feel, it led to many arguments and terrible feelings in our relationship.
I love him, feel occasionally be happy with him but I always felt like something was wrong. We argued about the smallest things, felt hurt over them and distanced ourselves at some point. You can be with a man you don’t trust but you will be miserable.
I had to focus on why I didn’t trust him? Did he do something to make me feel this way? If yes, he should respect that, be there for me and give me time to trust him again. It’s a very delicate thing, trust.
The only reason I’m still with my current boyfriend is because he was understanding and perseverant. He gave me time to heal and though I doubted him, he’s never done anything that wouldn’t make me trust him.
Collins: If you cannot trust your partner, why are you with them?
If you don’t trust someone you are dating, the reason is usually due to a lack of communication and experience from past relationships. If you cannot trust your partner, what are you doing with them? I can’t date a woman I don’t trust, I will frustrate her.
Why don’t I trust my woman? Is it because she has done nothing to gain my trust? Or is it because she has betrayed my trust before? Finally, is it me not allowing myself to open up to another person?
If I find myself in a situation where I don’t trust my partner, I will figure out what it is about them that I do not trust and see if this is a problem both of us cannot overcome or if it’s a problem we both need to overcome.