When it was time for him to go to Law School, his mom had no savings because she uses whatever she earns to care for him and his siblings.
The property that could fetch her bulk sum at the time was her only car. So she sold it off. She made barely N600, 000 from the sale of her car and his Law School needs gulped the whole of it and even more.
Few years after Law School, he started doing well financially. He bought himself a car and started planning to get married.
It was his girlfriend’s birthday and he wanted to surprise her with a birthday gift. He called me up as a friend to announce the surprise he wants to gift his woman. He wants me to help him settle for one of the many car choices he had in mind.
I was really impressed. What a gentle man! Only a few single men would consider buying a car for a girlfriend but I couldn’t help but ask him a few questions for the sake of clarity.
He has always kept me abreast of the financial woes in his family and the many sacrifices his mom was making to see him and his siblings succeed in life. This is how our conversation went:
“How’s Mumsy?” I asked.
He told me she was fine.
“She don buy another car after your Law School issue? I asked again.”
“No! I still dey plan am, make I finish with this my woman own, my next hit na to buy Mumsy car, he said.”
Anyway, by the time we were done with our discussion, he realized who needed to be settled first. Girlfriend’s car can wait because his mum deserves that pleasant surprise for now.
I reminded him that she hasn’t got much time around and she gave it all up to see him through school. I asked him to imagine if she finds out he bought his girlfriend a car! Her reaction is best left imagined than seen.
I chose to write on this because we have more men who are all about impressing the streets first rather than taking care of the home.
Your parents live in a mud house with leaking roof, with no toilet but you are spending money in expensive hotels to impress the streets.
Your sibling is asking for just a paltry sum to make up their school fees, you tell them you don’t have money to spare, but you are willing and even ready to borrow from friends to buy your girlfriend a N180, 000 Brazilian hair, go to the cinema, attend live shows, while friends eat and drink while you pay the bills.
There are married men who would first settle their sidechicks’ house rent, before thinking of paying their children’s school fees.
Some even place their girlfriends on monthly allowances that run into good thousands, but the same men do not take care of their wives or their own parents with a quarter of such amount.
There are men as well who send their would be father/mother-in-law to the best hospitals in town or even abroad on check up, but send their own parents N5, 000 to visit the primary health care centre in their village. Their folks should accept a lower standard of living because they have to impress their in-laws.
Many parents are living from hand to mouth, while the children they gave their all to blow huge sums just to give strangers a treat. Some people even get irritated when their parents make demands no matter how little. They fail to realize that their parents spent the better part of their lives meeting their demands.
Even though it’s true that there are friends who are worth more than family, it is also true some parents, siblings and wives are just too demanding and insensitive. Even at that, we shouldn’t forget our responsibilities towards our family especially if they gave up so much for our lifting.
As an adult, set your priorities right. Be careful about how you treat your parents, spouse and children because it says a lot about who you are. Any man who fails to take care of his parents and siblings first needs some serious evaluation.
If he’s out to impress you but fails to extend the same good will and generosity to his family, then he has a major priority misplacement problem and simply has no value for family.
As for ladies who make demands from men like it is their birthright, be careful how you go about impressing them. It is foolishness trying so hard to impress girls and friends at the expense of your parents, spouse and children. It is not too late to set your priorities right.