Without a doubt COVID-19 has caused enormous pains to countries and people all over the world . As bad as the shocking experience of the disease was, the lockdown imposed by the government to curb the spread of the virus, and enhance contact tracing by the Nigeria Centre for Disease Control, opened various windows. People realized they could do a whole lot without stepping out. Particularly, families who used the opportunity to reconcile and bond as the stay-at-home order created opportunity for genuine togetherness and improvement of relationship between spouses. It gave parents beneficial opportunity for extended quality time with their children as they engaged in various activities.
The reality and implication of COVID-19 to health made people begin to value life, show responsibility and give the meaning of being alive its worth and due interpretation. The realization instilled fear that brought about change in attitude. A lot of good deeds trended on social media showing all manner of friendship, creativity, support, playing and recreational activities within the confines of homes. Family closeness, bonding and ties, which had disappeared from the family table years ago as the cosmopolitan lifestyle and the advent of the Internet impacted on daily living, were revived amid the pains of the lockdown.
People simply devised ways to make the best out of a bad situation. They used the period of the lockdown to heal wounds between families, friends and communities. I doubt that many side-chicks would return to their sugar daddies after the COVID-19 experience. A girl called her married boyfriend, sent SMS, flashed and got no response because the owner (the wife) had taken back her property and so, he had no business outside the home.
To show the extent of the bonding between religious bodies, I watched on the African Independent Television (AIT), how Jake Epelle, the President of Albino Foundation went about to share palliative materials provided by the United Nations Country Office in Nigeria. Hear him: “In Abuja, we got into a community where there was a church and mosque in the same neighborhood. We obliged the pastor to present palliatives to the Islamic community while the Imam offered to the Christian forum to show we are all one despite our religious beliefs.” It became interesting that people with various beliefs saw there was no need for almost all the brouhaha in the relationship between people of different faiths.
The era, therefore, became a new morning for most individuals, to create unity, peace and love.
Mummy Princess who lives in a one-room apartment in Ejigbo said: “In this yard now, we do not quarrel like we used to do in the past; all the small issues that blow up into big fights somehow have ceased. Initially, we used to share sweeping of the kitchen and cleaning our lavatories among the 12 women who live in the same building; now anybody can just wake up and clean the whole place without looking at the roaster or waiting for whose turn it is. All the noise we usually make in the compound due to quarrelling has reduced remarkably. Holy Spirit has just descended on our compound since this COVID-19.”
Interestingly, since the lockdown period was longer than normal annual leave and school holidays, the relaxation, therefore, becomes a litmus test which no one sees the end to come soon. The long holiday for all became a period for genuine, truthful soul searching. Men paid great attention to the needs of their families, especially their children’s studies while at home. Through the recently introduced e-learning schemes, fathers made it a priority to provide all the required materials like functioning phones with data and guided the children on the websites to achieve success. Men were sighted in various markets supporting their wives to shop for the home, giving suggestions and focusing on the items on their scale of preference. My distant cousin used the opportunity to teach his children how to cook native delicacies since his wife is from another tribe. He said: “If I did not do it now, there might not be another opportunity like this.”
Both men and women who made the church their second abode were forced to stay home and become responsible fathers and mothers. Men who used their strength to clap in the morning hours in churches while others were busy trying to earn a living, found themselves stuck at home. Please don’t get me wrong because it is a wonderful thing to be in the presence of God. With the lockdown, they spent time at home to teach their wards both Bible and domestic knowledge.
Truly, the lockdown was for many a fantastic time to bond and build healthier relationships. Men and women have learnt they can worship God and at the same time watch over their children in the comfort of their homes without going to worship centres.
What men could not have time to do previously the lockdown laid it at their feet and some of the things trended on social media. You found fathers who engaged in healthy inttellectual exercises like playing chess and other board games. Reuben Okala, a former staff of the Nigerian Television Authority (NTA) was interviewed online on the Newsline programme as he played organ with his family for the Easter Sunday service. His wife confirmed that their teenage boys had perfected the art of making okra soup within the lockdown period.
Take the case of Mrs. Ekanem, a middle level civil servant and her husband, a banker. The husband shared his experience this way: “The lockdown has really given us the opportunity to bond as a family. As a banker, I leave my house as early as 5:00a.m and would not get back home until 10:00p.m and most of our discussions as a family normally hold on phones or late in the night when I am fagged out, to some I respond half asleep, some I do not respond to at all. The lockdown has really given me the opportunity to marry my wife, see her pain and her happiness and take care of my children. It has given us an all-inclusive bonding experience.”
Levi Ubeghulem is a clearing agent at the Apapa Terminal. He said: “I made household chores in my house compulsory. My wife, children and I sat down and mapped out a roaster for all the chores. When we wake up, after our morning devotion, everyone goes to his and her beat. My children saw me wash toilets, cook, sweep the house and wash my clothes, now all of them can do all that even though not as perfectly as I would do it, but a journey of a thousand mile starts with one step.”
With marriage being an institution ordained by God, the proceeds of marriage are the children which form the first family before other relatives. Most of the responsibilities of parents have been relegated as frivolities took over at the helm of the affairs. Some marital challenges were resolved and stabilized the marriage of the couples involved, but others were not so lucky and the problems deepened.
Frank, a boutique owner said: “The lockdown has nudged me into knowing that my family comes first, I have no other except them. Everything we do outside is just a charade. When the chicken comes home to roost, we run back to our families. Now that the lockdown has been relaxed, I will not go back to my vomit. It is has been a great and valuable time for families to go back to the drawing board and worship God in truth and holiness.”