Nigerian women and men of goodwill were somewhat at peace and making their best effort to wear face masks properly to prevent infection with COVID1-19, when a new men movement (sorry, a new virus) called Stingy Men Association of Nigeria (SMAN), began trending on social media. It is not yet known when the group was formed in (imported into) Nigeria. However, I learnt that the association started from Zambia and it has spread fast to other countries, like COVID-19. Then I watched a video showing some Nigerian members of the association. Like former United States President Donald Trump did with COVID-19, I felt I should ignore it, but the evidence emerging about SMAN got me alarmed. I sensibly did a U-turn to embrace science like the incumbent US President Joe Biden, and resolved that this virus must be nipped in the bud before it gains deep roots in our dear nation. Real Nigerian men are known for their generosity, not the Araldite tight-fistedness that members of SMAN, the new virus, tend to exhibit.
I want to say it very strongly that whoever came up with idea of that association and went ahead to form it, hates the menfolk; without a doubt he does not mean well for the menfolk.
Members of the association refer to themselves as ‘Stingers’ and so, when any of their side chicks call on the phone, to make a request, they would respond thus: “I wish you had called earlier. I am expecting some money next week. I will let you know before the day runs out.” Their reason for the evasive response is to curtail expenses.
I learnt more about the association after interacting with some men. The purpose of SMAN is to encourage their members to deceive and break the hearts of women, especially younger females, who carry on illicit affairs with them while deceptively making them have a false hope. The fellow that hatched this evil plan apparently forgot that his own daughters, sisters, cousins and nieces could someday fall into the hands of a member of SMAN. When any of them comes backs with tales of sordid treatment by a stinger, would the person be happy and accommodate it? An adage goes thus: “When a person points a finger at another, three fingers point back at him.”
I am not an advocate of irresponsibility, prostitution or illicit love affair, but I wonder if members of SMAN ever read books on natural law and justice, Karma and resultant effects that await SMAN members “peck and go.” Whenever two parties are in agreement, it is good to abide by the agreement, be it in business or otherwise.
Creating this association now might have a genuine reason probably to stop mini-prostitution and encourage ladies to work hard but some unnecessarily difficult men would use this to perpetrate evil in their families, business and working areas. A stingy man should be abhorred at all cost.
Take the case of a relative who told me of how he boarded a vehicle from Lagos to Owerri and encountered his kind of girl in the same vehicle. He had a conversation with her all the way to Lagos. What was his reason? “If I talk to her, whether she likes me or not, she would agree and I will be responsible for all that she would eat and drink from Lagos to Owerri.” But he might be wrong in his submission because not all ladies eat and drink during long-distant journey. Real ladies are trained on ‘specific abstinence’ during long trips to avoid bowel movement embarrassment. He just kept an eye on the girl until they arrived at their destination. My relation then opened up to her and both exchanged telephone numbers. Poor girl! Only if she knew the stinginess in the man’s heart.
Frankly speaking, stinginess is a disease, but some men do not care. From the physical appearance of a stingy man, one would tell his mien. That man who has no taste for his own clothing, shoes, choice of cars, fragrances, living environment and general quality of life is a stingy man and would continue to be stingy in all his doings. Mind us, there is a big difference between ‘Don’t have and have, but naturally refuses to spread it in good measures.
The same reason of stinginess was why a group of friends abandoned Peter to be on his own. At every gathering of the men at drinking places, Peter would never be part of the payment. He would eat and drink to his satisfaction at the expense of others. His friends began to notice it and were murmuring in trickles. By the next gathering, all ate and drank to their satisfaction and he thought it was business as usual. It was at the pay point that one of them raised alarm and asked the waiter to calculate whatever each ate and also announced that today is “To your tents oh Israel! Everybody bear your father’s name. Peter was taken by surprise because his bill alone was N8,000.00. his friends started paying and he angrily paid for his consumption for the first time.
Several women have taken up the roles of men due to stinginess. Women who raised their children, paid other bills to run homes and businesses single-handedly while living with their husbands are not far from sight. A pensioner who eats separately when he is paid, but joins his family when he is broke is a typical example of a stingy man.
The truth is that no stingy man can make a happy home. It is like a trap, once a woman is caught up with a stingy man, she sits there and either work hard to be financially liberated or carry her cross all year long. It does not bring peace in relationships both family and marital.
Stinginess does not exist in marital and love affairs only. It extends to families and blood relationships. Husbands who are stingy to their wives, guardians who are stingy to their wards, please be delivered from the spirit of stinginess. People who squeeze their buildings on half plot of land, grown men and women who sew clothes with 2-3 yards of fabric, all that one piece of meat in food, rinsing milk can or toothpaste container, those who drive smoky vehicles, those who don’t change towel and toothbrush etc are various forms of stinginess without realizing it; May you be delivered.
Those big brothers and uncles who train their wards in school with so much hardship and pain, know it that you are a stingy fellow. If your relation wants N10,000.00, you give N6,000.00, that ward will say thank you but will not be proud of you.
Dr. Okon, 64, did not forgive his late uncle who promised him wristwatch during his 15th birthday. Now that he is a grown man, he realized that his uncle was just a stingy man
A stingy man will always be because it has become a way of life for him. He might think that heavy spenders are foolish while he is the wise one. No, that is not right.
Dear Nigerian Men, Stingy Men Association of Nigeria (SMAN) will not add value to homes, rather cause more havoc. While efforts are being made to drag out the already caged stingers, a registered association is being formed for men, why?
Well, women for who this organization was formed against are watching and strategizing on how to response adequately to the stinginess.