I was in my late 20’s at the time and in a relationship. It would be my first time to visit him as he lived in another state. Date was fixed, we were excited as the date approached.
We couldn’t wait to see each other again after several months of just phone conversations. Although we didn’t discuss about where I would be staying during my short visit but I came prepared.
He was at the Airport to pick me up and we were headed to his place. It was a beautiful apartment in a reserved neighnorhood.
Immediately he opened his front door, there was this smell that didn’t sit well with me. I knew it was not a place I would like to spend even the next 30 minutes. The house was messy. The curtains looked like they have never been washed and the same was the seater. I stepped into the kitchen and plates from days ago were piled in the sink, even the trash bucket was filled.
Being a sensitive person, I didn’t even try to get to the bedroom to use the toilet because I needed to take a leak badly. If his sitting room and kitchen were that dirty, the bedroom and toilet would be an eyesore.
In no time I asked that he took me to a good hotel around. His countenance changed, but who cares!
It was supposed to be a 3-day visit, but I couldn’t wait to leave town the next day. Nothing turns me off like an unkempt house. I lost interest in whatever we shared almost immediately I stepped into his apartment. It had everything to do with his level of cleanliness for me.
Later that day, he told me he expected that I would tidy the house, and how it is a woman’s responsibility to keep the house clean as men are always busy. He was actually excited for my visit because his house would get a feminine make over. What a mindset!
I did not dignify him with a response because it dawned on me I was in a relationship with the wrong person. How can you live, eat, sleep and wake up in a house all by yourself, yet wait for me to visit and clean your house because I’m your girlfriend? It was not an impromptu visit, we planned the visit. He had weeks to prepare and make his house habitable if he had little shame or respect for me, but he chose to think that being a man is about waiting for a woman to come clean after his mess.
It showed the level of disregard he had for me. It’s this type of men who would use the toilet and not flush, and if the wife complains, he would argue that it is her responsibility. If you like keep your house clean or leave it like a pigsty, sleep, wake and eat in the heap of your mess while expecting your visitors to do the cleaning for you. People like me will not even stay around you a second.
As a woman, make it a point of duty to dispose your sanitary pads properly. Your used pads should not be left in the house for more than 24 hours. Leaving droplets of your blood stain or used pads in the trash without wrapping it is not a good sight to behold. Tidy up before you leave the toilet because no body should be cleaning nor seeing your menstrual blood, not your house help, not the cleaners at work or fast food place. Leaving them no option other than to clean up your mess is inhumane.
My major concern is not that you are dirty in private, it’s the fact that you will subconsciously take such dirty habit into other people’s houses. Some people will forget to flush the toilet after use, while some just flush and walk out without staying to make sure it’s completely flushed as some poop can still be floating.
Your poop and blood should be for your eyes only. Your wife, husband, house help or children should be exposed to such an eyesore. If your poop smears the place make sure to flush properly and use the toilet brush to tidy the toilet. It doesn’t matter if you have a house help, live alone or you are married.
It doesn’t matter how much I love you, how you take care of where you lay your head, cook and bathe matters a great deal to me. Dirtiness is a turn off.
Many marriages have crashed and more are at the verge of crashing because of arguments about cleanliness. Cleanliness is part of the irreconcilable differences couples will not mention most times. Your partner has to beg you to take a shower and brush your teeth before going to bed at night.
You pile up used dishes and pots in the kitchen sink for days. You sleep on one bed sheet and pillow case for weeks without washing. You wear one singlet and boxers for days. You use one tooth brush for years. It should even induce shame that your partner has to remind you of your personal hygiene. Simple personal hygiene we should all take seriously.
If you don’t have the time to clean your house, hire a cleaner to do it for you, it doesn’t cost much. Your visitor is not the person to clean up your mess, they should be able to leave your house like they met it or better. If a visitor decides to clean your dirty house, it should be of their own free will and not because you are entitled to such favors. Cleanliness Is next to godliness. Take care of your house.