We all have one thing or another to do with cold room, that place where women, especially, go to buy frozen turkey, chicken, fish or beef. It is also where we will all end up someday, frozen like stockfish and awaiting our committal to Mother Earth and be converted to shawarma for worms or manure to feed the plants. That is, perhaps, why the National Food Administration and Control (NAFDAC) and other health agencies cringe when we consume those stuff from the cold room because the chemicals used to preserve corpse alsoapplies here. It does not matter anyway.
Don’t believe everything they tell you about Nigeria. Afterall, are we not all mobile corpses? We are a great people. No country has the capacity to survive like we do. We are more like the bed bug that is schooled in endurance, knowing that whatever is hot would also get cold. And so Nigerians manage to get going by entertaining themselves to scoff at the biting hardship.
Or did you not read about the almost real marriage of our dear President Muhammadu Buhari last Friday? Those that scripted the fake marriage were very thorough that even Buhari was not so sure if he was not truly not getting married but did not know about it, especially when contrived videos of the supposed bride and beautifully crusted invitation cards began trending. I perceive the President was alarmed with the video showing our delectable First Lady, Aisha, locked up in a room in Aso Rock by the Cabal. He must have been more confused when this particular Aisha’s face was not captured in the video. If not that he was a steeled General, the fright was enough to kill the old man.
Many junk online publishers feasted on the story but, for me, even before presidential spokesman, Femi Adesina, came to debunk the story, it had been unmasked by one Yahoo journalist through over-embellishment. The same Aisha that was reportedly barred from entering Aso Rock by the Cabal was the one in the video purporting her detention inside the same Aso Rock.
Nigerians! And even when told that the supposed bride was in faraway America on official assignment, they still asked: Who told you that? And then the story changed: The wedding was done in secret.
Well that’s Nigerians by the way; we talk too much; more than necesary. And now we have provoked the axe of the tax man. We should prepare to pay tax on our talkativeness via the communication tax. We should also be ready to pay before we drive through our valleys, alias roads. We should be ready to add value to taxes on our foods, etc, but thankfully, there is yet no tax on life.
As if to relieve our temperature over impending avalanche of taxes, the president has presented the 2020 budget of fantasy now before the National Assembly. The projections are so surreal but it is not for you or me to wonder how realisable they would be. That is for the Soludos and Bismarks in the economic advisory team. Let no man give us the lame excuse that they were inauguratewd a day after the budget was inaugurated. They just must make it work, otherwise they should have rejected the inauguration, period.
Ah, this Nigeria. We are actually in a queer season; a season of anomie: When dogs eat the bone hung on their necks for safe keeping. When irreverence triumphs over sanctity. When throbbing lois fail to distinguish between madness and sanity; when impirety overrides the anointing.
What could one make of randy lecturers, who were paid to teach our innocent daughters in lecture halls but chose instead to teach them nonsense inside cold rooms where they ravage and violate them in exchange for marks. Now the hen has come to roost at the University of Lagos (and Ghana), as a British Broadcasting Corporation, BBC, undercover reporter has exposed the smelly rut of two dons, as perverted sex predators in whose company female students are endangered.
Not long ago, a former lecturer at the Obafemi Awolowo University was disgraced, dismissed, prosecuted and jailed for demanding sex from a student of the school. Now thanks to BBC, another set has fallen, and many more will follow.
Now they either zip up and do the work they are paid to do or be exposed. You never know who has a spy camera. I advise parents to buy spy cameras for their daughters before sending them to school.
What is really very disgraceful about the OAU lecturer and one of the UNILAG duo is the fact that they are ‘pastors’. The Unilag don even boasted about it. ‘Do you know that I am a pastor?’ He had asked. Yet he went on to offer the decoy admission seeker cold comfort in a cold room after feigning a prayer. My goodness!
Those who think he was set up by BBC should perish the thought. I suppose he has been on the evil game for a while, which was why BBC picked on him after much research. I also like to think that it was God that put him up for disgrace. No man mocks God. He did and here now is his can of worms. So shall every impostor on the Lord’s pulpit be swept away by a whirlwind.
Thankfully, the church has distanced itself from this heinous and deprecating conduct. Unilag has also sacked him and closed the cold room on campus. I wonder why they needed the BBC report to do that. They cannot claim ignorance of the atrocities going on there before now. They were probably intimidated by fear of what the lectureres’ union ASUU would do if the place where they collect extra fringe benefits in flesh was closed down. Well, now it has closed down itself; may it never resurrect.
The university should encourage victims to speak out and root up this cancer. Of course, there are serious and decent lecturers. However, their inexcusable silence has tanned all of them and the earlier they joined the crusade to sweep out these viral toxins from the campuses, the better for their reputation.
It is also cold comfort that prominent Nigerians are now parroting condemnation of the very act they are all guilty of. The politicians among these holier than thou commentators even do worse things to the ‘other men’s daughters’ they cart away every weekend for unbridled debauchery. Quite a lot of the girls on campus are part-time hustlers no thanks to these politicians. Virtually all transactions in Nigeria are rooted in bribery and corruption. The lecturer is bribed with sex to award undeserved marks whereas politicians, judicial officers, public servants collect theirs in cash, including the money paid for free bail to our supposed friends.
True, there are some daughters of Jezebel on campus, who seduce these lecturers to obtain certificates with their bodies and not marks. One university don coined it beautifully as Sexually Transmitted Degrees.
Nevertheless, the system must not spare anyone caught; they must be used as a scapegoat to deter other ravenous lecturers, who take advantage of their female students.