Men press the right buttons this year

The society is gradually drifting into what would have been described as a taboo in years past: women  taking the upper hand in extra-marital affairs. Practically, every news break on infidelity has a married woman at the centre of the scandal. One wonders where it all began to go wrong because responsible women are great home builders. Marital infidelity was more associated with men, who went skirt-chasing all over town, either with sweet sixteens or the ‘single and still searching (SSS) category. Relatively young married women comported themselves in the days of yore and seemed to wear a flashing warning that said to lecherous men, “Keep Off.” Not any more. In this age of smartphones and social media, women have increasingly engaged in extra-marital affairs without minding whose ox is gored. Right under the roof of their husbands, they carry on their affairs.
Has the game of unfaithfulness become a competition between men and women? Who will win in this game? Is it another expression of the ‘new normal’ that people have to adjust to in the months and years ahead?
For sure, societal, environmental, terrible traffic jam, personal and financial pressures have affected the abilities of men to engage in ‘drilling’ of oil wells. Without a doubt crude oil-rich fields just have to be drilled and oil bubble up. Every woman wants to happily gush with crude oil resulting from the effective and productive drilling. It is to be accepted that not all ladies are able to hold back the deep sexual feeling when it descends upon them. And when the man in their life fails to ‘man up’ and do the needful, such women are often driven to seek sexual satisfaction outside the home and sometimes in the home from willing and available ‘helpers’ such as domestic workers, young yahoo boys and various sex objects. Research from gynecologists has proved that erectile dysfunction has become a challenging problem for men as most of them find it so hard to perform their expected satisfactory function in the other room. Failure to do this has led to cold war in many homes with and without the knowledge of men.
At a recent girls’ reunion, to catch up on old times during the last festive period, where yours truly was present, we had a healthy debate on why married women find succour in the hands of much younger men.  The issue of erectile dysfunction and loss of libido among men in the 40-45 age bracket is a clear indication of a big problem in the land. One of the ladies who sat quietly while the gist flowed freely added that there is nothing as frustrating and annoying when a woman is ready to hit the marathon, her man fails in his duty and rather becomes tired vegetable in the other room. With such experience, the women would bark like dogs in the morning because she was not taken to Cloud-9 and back.
Again, it is for men who are less active in the other room to know that if their pencil cannot write anymore, it is not the end of the world. Do not kill yourselves with performance-enhancement drugs to impress and satisfy a woman. If the man dies in the process, other men will move in and life for sure continues.
Understand it that satisfaction must not only come through ‘oil well drilling,’ where the man makes his best efforts without getting the well to gush with crude oil. Again, being a man is not only during the wee hours of the night where a woman is commanded as a slave to serve her master. Hell no! You need to discover your woman’s mumu buttons and learn to press them correctly. Do not allow others to take over your job. If they do, it might be difficult to get her back to yourself completely.
I ask men this question repeatedly: do you know your wife? Is she your friend? What can you do to tickle her into an impromptu laughter as her guy? Which part of her body when touched by you makes her break out in goose pimples? Is it her palm, back, earlobe, squeezed fingers, feet or neck area? If you have not discovered the right spots of the woman who you have been with for five years and above, then you are failing in your obligations as her man. Discover the spot or spots real fast or else…
How does your woman react to surprise hugs at a public family function? What about a peck in your mum’s presence to reassure her of your undying love? Do you sing her praises at will, what pet name did you give her: beauty and brains or nasty beast? Where is her rank in the family radar? Is the cheap bowl for the village spit? Does her opinion count in family discussions? Have you reassured her that she is the only one, even though she might not be?
Men answer me: when was the last time you made and served her early morning bedside tea? How would a lady feel when her hubby would sneak out of bed to reappear with a tray of choice tea, coffee or beverage with a mild kiss on the cheek, before breakfast is served? Even a Jezebel of a woman would love and appreciate it!
Interestingly, satisfaction is not only in bed; there are very many things that would remove the mind and soul of a woman from the ‘other room’ activity. Men, how often do you play your woman’s favorite music? Do you think that because she is married to you, she has automatically become a home and baby maker without social activities?
I give it to Richie, who takes his pregnant wife, Chioma, to a night club at will. Chioma loves to listen to music and dance along. Her hubby of over 20 years never joked or denied her such fun. He has not commanded her to become his mother’s servant, instead respects her own feelings. The result is that they have been living happily. Whenever she could accompany him to the club, he would play her favourite music, for her to listen.
How many times have you relaxed with your woman while she rests her feet on you as her man; you massage her legs from her knee to her toes, staring romantically into her eyes? Who told you she would not melt in your arms? Even if you are a non-performer, your sins would be forgiven and covered up.
How many men have ever brushed their wife’s hair with love and care, just for the fun of it? I do not want to hear, ‘I am not a hairdresser, after all, I have given her money to take care of her hair.’ No, that is not what we talking about here. We are rather looking for alternative ways to support non-performing men for peace to reign around them.
Does she receive her daily admiration? Have you selected what she should wear for a party or even going to the office? Has she been surprised with gifts no matter how little? What matters is the heart that remembered the gift she deserves not the amount of money involved.
Again, satisfying a woman is not only about rolling in the sheets all night. Do you regard as a beast in the daytime and becomes your two-second lover in the night? Does she get your attention and company when she needs it or you keep to yourself until when you need her to service you in the other room?
Interestingly, it is also important for men to know that oil rig exploration is not about competition. When friends and colleagues, gather to tell their sexual effectiveness with ladies, do not kill yourself because you were not a witness to the act. No man holds the flag for others to follow in sincere terms of exploration. No one ever confesses the correct state of his drilling compliance or wives’ non-performing complaint. Women who love to find fault with their husband’s performance, should desist from such attitude. Help your man in every little way you can and build him up for your own good instead of running all over town in search of satisfaction.
Dear people of God, this food we are discussing here is no sugar and would never be, one should not kill himself because of a generational food that has no end. Instead change your ways and experience the magic. Lock your love because it is such a beautiful thing to do.