There was a minor road accident and the two drivers involved almost headed for each others jugular. They were screaming and threatening each other. One of the drivers was riding with his wife who came down from the car and rushed to pacify her husband against advancing further to physically assault the other driver.
But her husband’s reaction threw me off guards. He charged at her threatening to hit her “I have warned you never to intervene when I’m having issues with anyone.” He said this while he shoved her aside and was ready for a show down with the other driver.
She quietly walked back into the car, sat down and shut the door. All the while the argument lasted, she remained seated and was just a spectator. I was least interested in the fight because more people had gathered at the scene, my focus was on the woman who was shut down by her man. A lot of things ran through my mind.
Let me drive home my thought with this example:
You are married or in a relationship. While your woman is in the bedroom busy or fast asleep, you are in the sitting room with your friends who came visiting. Not long after, there was a heated argument between you and your visitors that almost became physical.
Your woman walks into the living room, to see you and one of your friends, who she knows as well almost ripping yourselves apart, while your other two friends were trying to hold you both back from attacking each other.
Immediately you all see her, you backed down, retreated to your seats, although still saying stuff. Your friends are like “hey girl! We didn’t know you were home!” And in her usual playful manner she just looked into their eyes and playfully teases “Is that why you want to kill him for me? Thank God I’m home and your friends all laughed.”
She proceeded to give each of them a hug like she always does. She says this before she left back to the bedroom “You all know I love you and it’s that happy vibe I get around you all that makes me appreciate your friendship. You are my friends and this is my man, whatever grievances you have, squash it like men. Let no one, not me, nor the neighbors needs to know, and she left.”
If she is your woman, did she do anything wrong with the way she handled the situation? Should she have gone back to the room quietly when she saw you almost physically going at each other and not say a word? Would you be happy that she said what she said or would you say she is a meddlesome interloper?
If she is your sister or sister in-law, do you think her man and his friends regard her highly by their reaction when they first saw her? What do you suggest women do when their men are behaving badly in public or rather, how do you expect your woman to react when you are behaving or about to behave badly in public?
I’m asking this because I have seen a couple of men behave badly in public and their women were nonchalant about their bad behaviour not to talk of intervening to calm their men down at least.
Some men shut down their women for trying to intervene or pacify them when they are having a fight with other people. Some even command these women to go right back into their cars or houses. I have also seen men back down after their women pacified them or intervened in their matter.
There are women who would join their men in behaving badly in public and their men are cool with it or tell them to back off immediately. Some men also get upset when their women don’t intervene or try to pacify them from making a public spectacle of themselves.
Dear men, what do you expect your woman to do when you are behaving or about to behave badly in public?
Re: Nigerian youths need to get their priorities right
It’s a very bad situation. Many graduates will tell you they are waiting for that one big break, if you encourage them to take up a job that they feel is below their standard just for experience and boost their Résumé while waiting for the big break, they will see you as the enemy. But how can you handle something huge without starting from little? I cannot hire just any graduate of many years with no previous experience to manage my business. Show me evidence of what you did while waiting to secure a better job”
– Lanre, Lagos
My kid sister graduated several years without a job, she helps out at my shop most times while I take care of her needs. She finally got employment. When she got her first three months salary which came in bulk, she used it all to purchase iPhone. For the first three months she went to work, I paid for her transport and feeding. She spent the entire salary just to buy an iPhone. Does she expect me to continue to pay for her transportation and feeding? Like you said, this is nothing short of financial recklessness and I’m ready to give her full dose of reality check. The first bulk money she ever got was spent on something that has no return on investment, that is how she intends to become the Makinde’s of this world. How?”.
– Ambrose O.