Dear NJ,
My boyfriend has a female boss who is very pretty and very young. She likes to invite my boyfriend to work with her on presentations on weekends when we are supposed to be together. I get very jealous and he always says, “Babe it is for extra money for our wedding.” I am then stuck with cooking and cleaning and sometimes he comes back so tired that he does not even eat. I feel as though there is more going on than the projects but I don’t know for sure. How can I find out?
PRISCILLA
Dear Pricilla,
Have you heard the expression: what you don’t know cannot hurt you? Why do you want to launch an investigation to find out what goes on during the Saturday workday at your boyfriend’s boss’ apartment? Do you want to waste time, money and also give yourself heartache? I would advice that you occupy your time on other things and forget about these Saturday trips.
Why not find something to do on Saturdays? You know instead of cleaning and cooking and just expecting him to walk-in and make your Saturday “magical” it will be nice for you to attend a class on those Saturdays, arrange to meet a friend for lunch, pamper yourself at a nearby spa or just go to the library to read a great book.
This way as he returns from work, you are also returning from your event-filled Saturday. Trust me, soon he will be asking ‘how was your day” with concern and reservation behind each statement as he waits for your response.
Knowing what I know about men, he will soon be getting out of the “Saturday work week” to be with you. You know why? You are no longer whining about what he is doing, you are filling your days with things of interest, he is wondering if you have met someone else, he is afraid you might dump him and finally he has realized that these extra days might be hurting both of you.
So he will make a conscious decision to opt out of it in order to spend more time with you and make you happy. Men do not like whining and frankly no one does. It is better you get even rather than get mad and be miserable. Try it, it works.
Dr. NJ