Dear Njigirl,

I got married when I was 18 years old. We have five children. The oldest is seven years and I am pregnant again.

My husband does not want me to work and I am frustrated. Please what should I do?

ν Sandra

Dear Sandra,

You are so young and with so many babies yet you are pregnant again? I feel for you.

Well with your children and your pregnancy how do you think that you can hold down employment?  If you are lucky to find employment you will then find a babysitter for your children. Can you afford it? I would rather ask: with your husband as the only bread winner can he afford it? I doubt it, not with five children and the one on the way. Sandra you are in-between a rock and a hard place and what you will do is mind boggling right?

Ok let me first admonish you for whatever it is worth.

What were you thinking when you got married at such a young age of 18? How old was your husband then? Did you complete any higher education? Assuming that you have a college degree it will be easier for you to seek employment. You must know your skills and your area of expertise to enable you seek the right job. Then get your resume organized and begin to send to different employers. Let me be clear though, it will be difficult for you to cope with full time employment with your babies but I can also assure you that it can be done.

First, you need to arrange for a reputable daycare service. Many social service offices have provision for funds that can be used towards subsidizing the payments. Also so many companies these days provide daycare services within the premises.

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So if you can, try to arrange these things before you obtain full time employment.

As for your present state, with this pregnancy and subsequent childbirth, I hope that you will consider family planning options that are available to you. You can ask your medical doctor to recommend safe practices to you. Finally, there is no need to be frustrated, please just get yourself organized and learn all the different ways for you to improve your life and those of your family.

Best of luck,

ν Dr. NJ

dear Njigirl,

my sister is always flirting with my boyfriend and he enjoys it but I am not happy about it. How can I get her to quit playing with my man?

ν Nikki

Dear NIkki,

Your sister shows affection to your boyfriend but that does not mean that she is into him in the way that you might be thinking. What exactly do you see to make you think that she might be up to something not very pleasant? As your blood sister I doubt that she will be into mischief as far as dating your husband. Still if you are not happy then tell her that her actions make you uncomfortable and that you will like for her to stop flirting with your boyfriend. It should not be a problem. Please whatever you say to her, be very careful not to cause any sort of ill feeling between the three of you. Again I doubt she means any harm but there again you know her and you know what she is capable of doing. Thread cautiously,

ν Dr. NJ