- Woman conceives after 12 years of marriage, carries pregnancy for four years
LINUS OOTA, Lafia
Call it mystery of the first order. An otherwise happily married woman waited for 12 years to conceive and when she eventually did, she had to wait for about four more years before she could be delivered of the baby. Mystery of all mysteries indeed!
That is the story of Mrs. Wamtor Oradi Orbunde, 39, from Awe Local Government Area of Nasarawa State. She got married to James Terwase Orbunde from the same area 12 years ago. The couple who lives and works as primary school teachers in Kadarko area of Keana Local Government Area of the state met at the College of Education, Akwanga, as students and started dating. You can imagine how grateful and happy they were to see the relationship blossom into marriage, after their graduation.
But sadly for years, Mrs. Orbunde was unable to conceive. This development that raised a lot of concerns among parents, from the two sides of the marriage divide, almost led to the collapse of the union but for God’s intervention.
Waiting for pregnancy
In June 2014, however, she surprisingly became pregnant to the joy of everybody who knew about her travails. But the joy was to become short-lived when the pregnancy lasted for three years and seven months. She was only delivered of the baby, a healthy looking boy, a few weeks ago, precisely on February 1, 2018, after passing through much emotional trauma.
Speaking to our correspondent after the delivery in a private hospital, Mrs. Orbunde was grateful to God even as she shared her painful story, with her husband sitting closer to her and, inadvertently, shaking his head from time to time in agreement, as she spoke. “For years, I’d been struggling with what you could call problem of infertility; it was much more a problem to me during this period than my husband because he did tests and all was normal with him.
“I know many men aren’t as heartbroken as their partners over such issue but that hasn’t been my experience. My husband loves me and wants me to be happy. It is very simple for him to say ‘we wiII adopt’ or we will have a baby some way, ‘you will be a mother.’ My failure to conceive made me feel like I was not functioning as a woman.
“When we got married after about three years of courtship, I naturally thought that pregnancy would happen immediately without much fuss because I was only about 26 years. Almost all my friends who married at that age conceived. I thought that infertility was only a problem for much older women.
“I felt guilty and angry everyday for having to wait so long to get pregnant, angry with my husband for persuading me to wait until such a time God permits, angry at myself for listening to him when having a family is my life’s goal. On a number of occasions I went to the hospital to carry out some tests but the results kept showing that I was normal. It was only once they said that I had a fibroid but the doctor assured that it could not stop me from having a baby.
“However, it wasn’t long before the excitement of marriage turned to disappointment with test after test coming back negative. Initially, my cycle was irregular, so my period would come when I would least expect it. To me, this was a constant reminder of my failure to conceive.”
The attendant heartbreaks
“It was devastating. I cried many nights in my husband’s arms. I felt as a woman, I was not functioning as I should. My husband reminded me that we were in this together as a team. However, this did little to comfort me. I started becoming resentful of other women who got pregnant easily. I found it difficult to see pregnant women in the community, and every baby I met was a reminder of what I wanted but didn’t have.
“I even found myself not wanting to socialize with my friends who had children, or attending functions where pregnant relatives or friends would be discussing the imminent arrival of their bundles of joy. The once out-going, full-of- life lady that I once was became one that was questioning every move she made in case it affected her chances of conceiving. I even started to refuse nights out in case people would question why I wasn’t having an outing with my husband. I confided in some close friends and I am so grateful that they were very supportive.
“Others don’t bring up the subject at all, most likely for fear of not knowing what to say. However, saying nothing made me feel worse. I eventually knew something had to change. I couldn’t continue to live my life that way. But I didn’t know what to do.
“After about six years of marriage, I started wearing mask. My mask was my brave face; it was an invisible shield that I wore whenever I left the comfort of my home. It allowed me to smile at others and to congratulate them on their great pregnancy news; it allowed me to laugh off the ‘when-are-you-going-to-have-a- baby’ questions, and it helped me go to work everyday and do my job.
“However, my mask comes off whenever I got home, and that is where the real feelings came out, the tears of disappointment and frustration, the feelings of loneliness and isolation, and confusion as to why this still hasn’t happened to us. I was lucky that my husband and I have a solid relationship. However, we were suffering in silence, and it felt like we were carrying a great big secret that no one understood. About four years ago, during an appointment in the hospital, I asked a question about fertility treatments and I was advised to go to a fertility clinic as they were the specialists. This was a real eye-opener for me.
“When I first took in, I knew that I was pregnant, with signs and tests that confirmed that I was. Three months later, I went to hospital for another test, the result showed that I wasn’t pregnant but that I had fibroid. Subsequently, I began to experience bleeding at least once a day. Sometimes, my tummy would protrude in semblance of pregnancy. I went to different hospitals and I kept receiving the same result that nothing was wrong with me, but deep down inside, I knew that all was not well.”
Prophecy and its fulfillment
She told our correspondent that she was taken aback when a middle-aged woman in their church told her she was pregnant but considering the test which showed she had fibroid, she said she was angry with the woman for giving her what she thought was a false prophecy of hope. “Thereafter, I started going from one church to another and from one native doctor to another. The results that I got from them all remained the same. I became more feeble and confused so much that I prayed for death to come.
“I went again to the middle aged woman a year and about six months later and complained to her about the pains that I was going through; she told me again that it was not fibroid but pregnancy. She prayed for me and advised me to be more prayerful so that God will deliver me from the hands of the devil. I kept on praying and at the same time asking myself if I was truly pregnant, why is it that the baby was not kicking?
“I bought a lot of herbs based on the advice of many people that it will cure the fibroid. I took a lot of local cleansers but to no avail. This went on for almost two years and this whole saga lasted with me for about three years and seven months. Then God had pity on me and decided to wipe away tears on the first day of February 2018.”
It was on that fateful day that she gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. “Initially I thought that worms were trying to come out of my body not knowing that it was a baby. This was what I told the middle-aged woman. She later assisted me in giving birth to the baby. She was the one that encouraged me to push.
“I was in deep pains and ignored her advice. But later I became unconscious for about 27 minutes. But when I regained consciousness, I heard the cry of a baby. I was surprised and confused seeing my baby. I couldn’t believe my eyes but I thank God for my life and that of my baby.”
Her husband, Mr. Orbunde, affirmed that he and his wife have been together as husband and wife for about 12 years. “We met at college and dated for about three years before we tied the nuptial knot,” he told Saturday Sun. “We decided to throw away the birth control pills. It felt so incredible daring to do that particularly since both of us were young and were just graduating from school.
“We felt it might take a few months to get pregnant and we figured it was best to start early. Little did we know that it would take much more than just few months. I can’t even tell you how many tests we did during that time to no avail. But thank God we had our baby after 12 years. Within this period a lot of people told me stories, others suggested I quit the marriage for a fresh one. But today God has answered my prayers, so I thank God and that is all I can say. My wife has said it all.”