To build stronger relationships this year, stay away from your phone and computer when you are spending time your partner.
Kate Halim
Sometimes, people get tired of making New Year resolutions because within months they lost track of what they promised themselves they would do differently in the New Year.
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Couples should know that deciding to do better in their relationships is not a fruitless venture. It is needed to shake things up a bit and add more sweetness to their relationships.
Making resolutions with your partner can help you stick to your promises and can also strengthen your relationship. This is because you both will be accountable to each other.
If you want to usher in the New Year very well and keep your relationship strong all year long, do things together and not just around the holidays. You can’t be talking about New Year resolutions with your spouse when you are not always home and don’t spend time with your spouse.
Many married men are guilty of this. I don’t know what they are looking for outside instead of spending quality time with their spouses. You spend all day, weekends, even holidays away from your spouse and yet you have the nerve to complain that she’s distant. Why won’t she be distant, did she marry your house and furniture or you?
I pity married men who choose to hang out with friends all the time abandoning their wives at home in the cold. You never take your wife out. When you do, you don’t take her to places she loves. You impose your will on her. You are teaching her to live well without you. One day, you will need her but she won’t be available because she’s long gone even if she’s still living with you.
If you are serious about losing some weight this year, it will be sweet to get your partner or spouse to join you. You have to enlist your partner as a workout buddy. If you are not overweight, exercising with your partner is still a great way to improve your overall health. And the heavy breathing exercise brings reminds couples of sweet things they can do in private that involve lots of kisses and heavy breathing.
Dear couples, in 2019, make sex a priority. Ex is sweet. Sex is beautiful. Sex lifts your moods. Sex makes you feel better about yourself and your relationship. Sex is very important if you must have a blissful relationship this year.
When couples are very busy, sex can get lost in the shuffle, but it’s too good for your relationship, your health and your mood to skip those leg-shaking moments. Couples need to communicate more about what turns them sexually. You don’t have to be ashamed being naked before your spouse. Just have sex.
Make time to reconnect with your partner by scheduling a weekend vacation devoted to cuddling and lots of sex. If the sex has become lackluster, put some energy into figuring out how to make it exciting again. Try a new position, a new toy, or just a straight-up change the venue. Do it somewhere else aside the bedroom.
Couples need to stop fighting over little things. Life is too short to waste precious moments holding on to irrelevant things. If you have a serious issue with your partner, it’s important to bring it up, but try to avoid petty arguments and insults.
One little fight or misunderstanding isn’t a big deal, but over time, small negative and hurtful comments can erode the foundation of your relationship. Pick your battles wisely. When you sense a fight on the horizon, try to be calm and talk to your partner respectfully.
Men, stop shouting at your wives as if they are your servants. Stop shutting your wives down when they have something they to say. Your wives are not slaves. They are human beings with feelings. Men, respect your wives and your marriages will be heaven on earth.
Women, stop destroying your man’s life with negative words and curses. He may have offended you or done something bad but hurling hurtful words at him won’t change what happened but he might not forget the words you used against him.
Couples should strive for emotional honesty this year. Enough of all the lies, deceit and cheating! These things destroy relationships. It’s hard to share your innermost being with your partner if you are being lied to, cheated on and deceived.
Men, stop hopping from one vagina to another like hungry rabbits. What are you looking for that your wife doesn’t possess? How do you expect your wife to be honest and faithful to you when you are not honest and faithful to her? Men, do unto your wives as you want them to do to you. It’s not that hard.
To build stronger relationships this year, stay away from your phone and computer when you are spending time your partner. When you are spending time with your sweetie, banish buzzes, bleeps and chirps from your computer and phone. Don’t scroll through your texts while your partner is talking to you or message a friend while you are supposed to be in each other’s arms.
You may think you can do two things at once, but when you do, you are sending your partner the message that they are not worth your full attention. If you both have things you must do on your phone or computer, set a block of time aside to accomplish the tasks, and then spend quality time together afterwards.
Treat your partner as well as you treat your friends. It’s easy for couples to take one another for granted, and sometimes they don’t treat their lovers or spouses as well as they should. This is not right and it should end with 2018.
You may assume that your spouse is in it for the long haul and they won’t leave you. You might get the shock of your life if you don’t change that attitude. Ask yourself if you say or do things to your partner that you wouldn’t do to your best friend, and if you discover that you do, adjust your behavior accordingly.
This year, listen when your spouse is talking. Don’t talk about something else when your partner is telling you how their day went. Pay attention to what your partner is saying and ask follow-up questions. This is one of the best things you can do for your relationship.
Couples should criticize less and praise more. When you spend a lot of time with someone, it becomes easy to overlook the things that are great about them. Instead of dwelling on his bad habits, remind yourself of the reasons you fell for them in the first place. Then remind him or her!
Going through the hustles and bustles of life can make couples forget the importance of play in their relationships. Couples should learn to infuse their partnership with a sense of play.
Have pillow fights, talk in funny voices, and playfully tap each other’s bodies during the day. Do something creative together. Learn how to cook a new dish together. Cooking is not only for women. Men should cook too.
Stepping outside of your routine can bring you and your partner closer, and it will ensure that things never get boring between you. Doing these things require the efforts of both parties. Building a relationship is not only for women. Men, take note.
Here’s to a Happy New Year and to your relationship growing stronger next year!
*****
RE: MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE
I know that if you had your way, you would have abolished marriage because you never anything good to say about an institution that God ordained. How can you say on a national newspaper that marriage is not for everyone? If your parents didn’t get married and have you, will you be here writing satanic things every Saturday? May God forgive you for trying to distort his plan for mankind. Repent Kate, before God deals with you.
–Gerald, Awka
What a wonderful piece of advice for both men and women wanting to get married. It is sad that our society is crazy about every Tom, Dick and Harry getting married without considering a lot of factors. Keep up the good job.
–George Obinna
I am sorry for girls who read your articles and are not wise. No single lady stays without cooking, washing and cleaning. No two persons, even identical twins stay without misunderstanding. Marriage is not a law court where claiming of rights is emphasized but where love and understanding lives. You could mislead the thoughtless and innocent with the wrong ideas you proffer.
–Emeka Prestige
Your arguments are okay but they are not enough to make you reach such a general position. Sadly, your arguments tend to rule out a very deciding factor, the spiritual aspect. The forces of evil could stop someone from getting married. Your intentions are laudable but your headline is wrong. God wills that all be married but some factors could hinder this.
–Rev. Alexander Musa, Lagos
Thank you for daring to talk about the things we pretend about in this country. I thought I was crazy that I feel nothing about the marriage institution. When I say that I don’t want to get married, people instantly start casting and binding imaginary demons and rebuking me. But I don’t want to be married. Now, I know that I am not alone. Thank you for being a voice for people like us. You are loved.
–Rachel, Abuja
Kate, marriage issue is serious in this country. Do you know that half baked, mediocre married men feel superior to their accomplished age mates? They boast with the number of children they have and turn around to complain about financial stress and family burden the next minute. They do bragging and begging. Ours is a very primitive society. I agree with you, marriage is not for everyone.
–Oluka