Dear Dr.,
I’m a newly married bride of just four months and I am sorry to say, my husband is small in size as I really can’t feel him filling me during sex. He has no erection sometimes and when he does, he is finished in about two minutes. He doesn’t last.
What should I do? I need to get pregnant, at least. Please help me!!!
– Jennifer Jang, Plateau
Dear Jennifer,
You must be commended for this your shout-out. You are very wise to have decided to cry for help and from where you can have professional help. That is the way to go. Don’t hide the challenges that can mean life or death, divorce or bliss in your marriage or relationships. Your husband has problems of premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. He also has sexual asthenia, meaning he is losing his libido or hunger for sex, which will happen in any situation where there is failure of performance or satisfaction of the opposite sex.
Now, Jennifer, you are not alone. What is happening to you is not strange. A lot of people have these same complaints that you have enunciated, although your case seems a bit too early in your marriage. A four month old marriage, for all intents and purposes, should still be feeling like honeymoon in terms of libido, hunger or desire for sex and performance on the bed.
However, we must thank God and science that you can be helped. I will outline some 10 things you need to know/do to save your situation. Any relationship or marriage that has issues with satisfaction for the woman is heading for the divorce courts; so listen attentively and take action.
Scientific data shows that a woman who has no satisfaction on the bed will soon look for that satisfaction elsewhere. The problem is that most men have no clue about how to satisfy their women. A woman needs plenty of foreplay and must reach orgasm or climax before you, as a man, can say you have satisfied her. The good news is, you can obtain information on our “How To Satisfy Her” by sending a message to our “[email protected]” email box or a text message to any of our lines. With this manual in your hand, Jennifer, you can begin to help him and help keep your marriage.
Your commitment to your marriage vows comes next. Do not let it waver in the face of not only the challenge of not being satisfied, but many times of the sheer male ego that will not allow many men to acknowledge they have problems or accept anybody’s intervention or help. This is where love comes in. I am hoping that you married him for love because if that is in place, love covers a multitude of inadequacies.
The third consideration is that there are techniques materials and maneouvres that cost almost nothing that can be applied in your situation, that will solve all your problems.
Number four, God made some plants, herbs, vegetables that are very available to solve these problems.
Five, your oga has five fingers and can be taught how to use same to please you while we work on his manhood. Beyond even that are approaches, positions and manouevres that make a small organ feel big in the use. Because, its not really the quantity that matters, but the quality (how he uses what he has).
Six, the real root cause of most inadequacy of premature, delayed, bloody, pleasureless ejaculation is Chronic Prostatitis; the microbial inflammation and infection of the male organ known as prostate that is analogous to the female’s womb. Chronic Prostatitis is notoriously difficult to treat; must be handled with care by doctors who know their onions; it is usually an aftermath of sex on the wild which everybody knows is the past-time of young males; that is why it seems there is an epidemic of premature ejaculation and sexual inadequacy in the populace. Again although, Chronic Prostatitis is a notorious cause of low or zero sperm count, getting pregnant and having babies is a little different from having pleasure on the bed.
Seven, there are times when the psychological has complicated the problem – every chronic health problem develops a psychological affiliate dimension; this psychological overlay has to be fixed, too.
Eight, beyond the psychological, there is the spiritual, which manifests in dreams of having sex with women while he cannot have sex with you his true woman in real life. As medical doctors and pastors to boot, this is not strange to us; we’ll tackle it successfully by the grace of God.
Nine, in our approach, all these dimensions are researched and acknowledged. Ten, you will triumph over this problem; commit to your marriage; follow our prescriptions, the first of which is to get “How to satisfy Her” and you will testify. Call the help-lines.
Unexplained infertility: What else?
Dear doctor,
I am a 41 years old woman and got married 15 years ago when I was 26. My husband is 45 years old and both of us have tried everything and everywhere for help to get pregnant but there is no way.
Recently, from the USA, a very competent gynaecologist (OB-GYN as they refer to them) told us we have Unexplained Infertility. What does this mean and what do you advise us to do?
Can we get the better of the condition and have our own baby?
– Ganiat Fawaaz, Ikoyi, Lagos
Dear Ganiat,
Unexplained Infertility just means what it says: nobody can explain or give the cause of your infertility condition. It usually signals the end of the road in Infertility management, meaning, from this point, no further help can be given. You are now on your own; go home and forget about having a baby of your own.
It is at this point I have come up with the concept of “The Forgotten Factors in Failed Fertility,” which I run my patients through and which has helped some of them to fix the issue of childlessness. Again, there are a dozen odd psycho-socio-cultural questions/issues I am going to prime you to and if you find something positive, do not hesitate or waste time to take action. Time is no longer on your side at the age of 41.
Do you have a pattern of strange, funny, peculiar dreams in relation to trying to conceive? Red things or materials, things pursuing you, sex in the dreams, always taking care of other people’s babies? Did your husband marry you properly or there were certain things about your proper marriage that were not done when you came together? Have you noticed that after sex, the seminal fluid seems to all flow out of your body, as if nothing has gone into you? Or is it after you get up from lying down that you feel the outflow? How do your breasts feel –okay or not during your menstrual cycle? Any peculiar feelings? Do you breast feed babies in your dreams? Do you give birth to babies in your dreams? The relatives on both sides–any hostility or over–friendliness? Any parents or elderly relatives not happy with you? Anybody cursed you? Your parents? Your bosses? Your pastors? Your foster parents? Have you inflicted any curses on yourself by yourself?
As a couple, are you most times in harmony or agreement or you are usually hostile or at cross-purposes? It would be a good exercise to go through this list and take action to call the help-lines if you would like to discuss any issue. Just call the help-lines.