By Sunday Ani ([email protected])

Johnson and Rose were co-workers in an advertising firm in Lagos. They were from different ethnic backgrounds. Johnson was Efik while Rose was of Igbo extraction. Johnson had worked with the company for over four years before Rose was employed. But no sooner had Rose joined the company than Johnson began to develop strong emotional attachment towards her.

Before the young lady could settle down to work, Johnson’s love overtures had become obvious. And as if she had been waiting for the young man to break the ice, she accepted his proposal and they became close friends.

Although they fell head over heels in love with each other, they managed to keep it secret for the over two years that they dated before they announced their intention to get married.

After they became husband and wife, they continued to work in the company, although they were in different departments.

In the same vein, Kevin and Jane were co-workers in a beverage company in Port Harcourt, Rivers State. They were both in the marketing department, and so they always went out together to scout for customers. Demonstrative of the saying that nearest is dearest, they unconsciously began to develop a soft spot for each other and it soon dawned on them that they had become lovers.

The Romeo and Juliet game, though not pronounced, eventually ended up in marriage. Kevin tied the nuptial knot, to the consternation of many female colleagues who never had any inkling that he was dating Jane.

Like Johnson and his soul-mate, Rose, they continued to work with the company thereafter without any problem.

However, the same cannot be said of Kolade and Oluwakemi, who met as co-workers in one of the new generation banks in Nigeria. They fell in love and eventually got married. But one was advised to resign, as the bank policy would not allow both of them to continue after they had become husband and wife.

Eventually, Oluwakemi resigned and went into business, leaving her husband to continue with the bank job. She reasoned that as a wife, who was about to start raising children, setting up her own business would give her ample time to take care of her husband and the children that would come after.

There are also cases of co-workers who dated with the hope of getting married but, somewhere along the line, the relationship crashed, leaving the man or woman heartbroken.

In some other instances, office romance happens either between married men and young single ladies or between married women and young unmarried men or between two married parties. Many in this group usually have unpalatable tales to recount in the long run.

Investigations by Daily Sun have shown that opinions of Nigerians on the issue are as varied and controversial as they are revealing.

Expressing his thoughts on the subject matter, a relationship coach, Rev. John Akachi Ahamzie, of the Holy Fire Overflow Ministry, Ikeja, Lagos, believes that office romance is counter-productive. Viewing office romance through the prism of a superior dating his or her subordinate in the same work environment, he said: “If you want to make certain decisions and the person involved will be affected by such decisions, it could seriously undermine the strength of the decisions. If the issue has to do with something that went wrong, you may want to cover it up because you are romantically involved with the person who did it.”

He pointed out the belief in some quarters that, if such romance ends up in marriage, the couple’s emotional bonding could be an added advantage to the company.

He said: “In some other places, some people actually think, especially if it is between husband and wife, that the emotional bonding can increase synergy that will actually help the company, given the fact that these two people can make decisions faster and cut out the bureaucratic bottlenecks and things like that.”

But, he would not flow with such argument, as he firmly holds the opinion that, generally, office romance works against the company, especially if it is between a boss and subordinate. That, he said, could seriously affect decision-making and allow mediocrity to reign.

Rev. Ahamzie further warned that, even when the romance involves two unmarried people, it still has to be seriously discouraged because romance can bring in a lot of complexities that undermine the success of a company.

On whether office romance has any nexus with morals or religion, he said: “Morally or religiously speaking, office romance is a no-go area for God because what we normally call romance eventually leads to fornication and adultery. And,as far as God is concerned, it is absolutely wrong.”

Also lending her voice, Miss Chioma Eze, a nurse with a private hospital in FESTAC, Lagos, said office romance breeds disrespect.

“A female secretary who is dating her manager or her boss in the office won’t be serious with her job and she will also not respect that boss in the office,” she said.

She also insisted that whether the romance is between married and unmarried people or between two single individuals, it is still not good because such unmarried young lovers would find it hard to concentrate on their jobs.

“In the case of two unmarried people, they won’t focus on their job. Each time they see each other, they would become emotionally confused and that will ultimately reduce their productivity in the organisation. So, you see why I cannot support it. It will cause a lot of distractions in helping a company to achieve its goals,” she said.

She also stated that such shenanigans affect the organisation’s image negatively before the outside world.

“If outsiders find out that two persons in an organisation are engaged in amoral activities other than work, the reputation of the company might suffer. You are free to do such things outside your company or organisation but not within. That is not good,” she submitted.

As for relationships that ended in marriage, she said the man would be in trouble as he would no longer have the latitude to hide anything, especially as it concerns his salary, from his wife because she knows how much he earns and when he is paid.

“The same thing applies to the woman; she can’t hide anything about her finance from her husband because he knows everything. For me, I don’t enjoy such relationships. I don’t like office romance.

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“This is not to say that the husband should be keeping secrets from his wife, but there are family issues that may arise and a man would have to respond promptly without necessarily informing his wife. It is not everything that a man should tell his wife, especially as it concerns his finances. But when they work in the same place, he can’t hide,” she said.

Another young lady, Chidimma Nwoke, was of the opinion that office romance was a distraction. She also argued that, if two young people of the opposite sex are in love in the same office, one has to resign if they end up married.

She expressed reservations with married men who run after unmarried ladies in the same workplace.

“It is morally wrong. If the two singles are in a company with no policy against such action, they can date but they should have the perspective of what they are doing and not just having fun and misbehaving. They should know that they are doing it for a particular reason,” she said.

Chris Ekeji concurred with Chidimma. He said: “It is totally wrong. People should be concerned with office business rather than their own personal matters in an organisation. If they want to engage in such acts they should take it outside because it will affect the productivity of the company.”

For Oluwaseyi Ajibola, there is nothing bad about office romance. According to her, it actually depends on the mental disposition of the individuals involved and how they control such disposition while at work.

On the possibility of one being in total control of his or her emotions at all times, she said: “It’s possible because your emotions come from you. It is all about determination. So, there is nothing bad in office romance; it all depends on your understanding. Just know what is good at the right time.”

Mrs. Chinyere Anokwuru also does not see anything wrong with office romance, as long as it is between two unmarried people.

“My opinion is that people can meet anywhere; it could be in the office environment or elsewhere, so long as there is physical attraction. As long as there is attraction between two single individuals and they are on the same page, they can go ahead with workplace romance. Where I have a problem is when a boss or a superior wants to take advantage of the younger ones in an organisation. In such a situation, it becomes a case of giving in to the pressure from the boss because you want to keep your job,” she said.

Regarding the productivity of the lovers, she said: “I know too many companies as well as banks that will ask either of the two lovebirds to resign when they want to get married because it is easier for a couple to plan and dupe a company. It is their belief that when two people plan and agree, it becomes very easy. But at the same time, I would want to advise that such people should look at the long-term consequences. In other words, one of them would have to look ahead of time before taking the relationship to a very serious level and have an exit plan.”

Medical perspective

Dr. Uche Okenyi of Nova’s Place Hospital, FESTAC, said office romance does not have any established medical implication outside its negative impact in a hospital environment, where it could be problematic and should not be encouraged because human lives are involved.

He said: “In a hospital environment, where we deal with lives, office romance can be very dangerous. If there is distraction, maybe for a doctor or a nurse, it can have grave consequences. For instance, as a doctor, if you are not fully concentrating on what you are doing, you can prescribe a wrong drug for patients, and a nurse can also administer the wrong injection and these things can have serious consequences.

“Again, as a doctor performing surgical operation, if your girlfriend suddenly comes into the theatre, you could lose control and cut the wrong nerve; that automatically will be a problem. We have these consequences for patients because of the distractions. So, that is the only medical link.”

Aside from the possible medical link, he also believes that workplace romance is distraction personified, which ultimately will affect the efficiency and smooth running of the organisation because, when two lovers who work in the same place are on duty together, there is always that emotional connection between them and it could affect their concentration on the job, which in the long run affects the operations of the firm.

Okenyi also pointed out that what most people think is a mere office affair could spill over to the family and threaten the foundation of such people’s families: “Most often, you find people who have a girl or wife or fiancé or husband at home romantically involved with somebody else in the office. Those other people at home are going to get hot when they find out. If it is a serious relationship that you already have before the office romance, it could lead to a break-up, and if it is marriage it will be more terrible because children are involved.”

He equally looked at the possibility of office romance leading to loss of one’s job and the consequences that follows. He said: “If, maybe because of office romance, somebody loses a job, there might be consequences because the party that feels cheated in the game may plan revenge. It has happened that people have lost their jobs because of office romance. Or maybe you are a man working in an office and you are going out with a girl whom the managing director or another senior person has an interest in. They may feel that you are the stumbling block between them and the girl and terminate your appointment with the company. So, office romance is not something to be encouraged because it has so many negative consequences.”

Okenyi did not forget the other side of office romance. He noted that: “There is also a situation where two young people, who meet in an office, begin to get along until they get married. It can happen. But that is an exception, not the rule. Most organisations don’t support it because it disrupts activities in the workplace. For instance, in banks, such things are not allowed.”

Sociology of office romance

Offering sociological insight into the subject matter, a sociologist and lecturer at the Nigerian Institute of Journalism, Ogba, Lagos, Dr. Isaac Otumala, said office romance affects not only the organisation and its staff but also the society at large. He stated that people often see romance as an individual act but once it has to do with another person, it becomes a social act, which makes it a matter of societal concern.

Otumala posited that, sociologically, office romance is unethical, uncultured and not advisable because it has social implications and could lead to immorality in society. He noted that office romance is akin to sex and should not be allowed in the office environment.

One of the social implications of office romance, according to the sociologist, is that those involved in it will lose their personal worth, respect, integrity and value when eventually caught.

He said it could make the individual to lose focus, unable to make right, objective decisions, which will gradually affect the company and its efficiency.

On the negative impact it could have on the society at large, he said: “If you are working in a company that produces consumable goods, and you are mixing raw materials for production, you could easily make a mistake when your attention is focused on your lover, who probably is also by your side. And when that happens, the quality of the product that will be dished out to the public for consumption will be affected. It can cause havoc among the citizenry.”

He also stated its negative effect on the family. He said: “Sometimes, if office romance involves a married man, it will affect his family because his attention will gradually shift away from his family to the girl in his office. There is a tendency that your heart tends to be with the person you always talk to.

“However, where the boss is involved, his junior worker, who is now his lover may not accord him the needed respect in the office because of the intimacy. Such disposition affects the company and the individuals as well.”

Otumala also pointed out that the young girl who double-dates in an office environment will always end up being the loser. He said: “A young girl who is in love with her unmarried co-worker but at the same time dates her boss, stands the chance of losing out entirely because when the young man finds out that she is dating the boss, he will abandon her. The young man also stands a chance of losing his job if the boss finds out that he is dating his girlfriend in the same office. These are some of the social implications of office romance.”