(…… at the Combat Regiment’s Headquarters, now moving it from the Niger river to the Benue Confluence; following the state of exigency in Benue, Kogi, Nassarawa, Taraba and other parts of the bloody plains of northern Nigeria…. Enter the great veteran Brigadier Boji-Boji Atamuna, the Prince from Igalla kingdom, the Regiment’s GSO1, Col. Evil G. Babamusa, Major Olajide Olakampo, Major 419 Utueke, Sargent Okon Bassey, other ranks….
Brigadier One leg Boji-Boji Atamuna: GSO1 give me the Sitrep!
Col. Evil G. Babamusa: There is sad news….
Brigadier Atamuna: I retired your Adjutant for that language, as I continue reiterating, there is nothing like sad news in the army! Order is Order, in the army there is no time to sit down and worry about the situation reports, you move or I move you!
Col. Evil G. Babamusa: The genocide has swallowed the Benue region and for the first time we have Murder in the Cathedral! As if the bloodbath is not enough, southern Kaduna is aflame and over forty innocent souls have been decimated. Sir, headquarters insist you must mobilize and move to Benue immediately.
Major Olajide Olakampo: Sir there is a phone call from the same headquarters; High Command orders the immediate and final court martial of the combustible Senator who was arrested at the airport as he was escaping from the law.
Major 419 Utueke: The peoples’ Senator, the Senator of the year. The one man riot squad who stood his grounds against the killa go SARS; by the last press accounts Senator Dino Malaria has rubbished INEC, his host Governor and their naked ploy to recall him from the Senate.
Major Olajide Olakampo: Major 419, you sound like you have forgotten. This same Dino Malaria appeared before our trial and we were not impressed that he like his mates the Senators, do not understand the essence of Legislation.. He was busy roaming the streets in a designer Rolls-Royce, constituting himself and his paid motley of miscreants’, into volatile pressure groups and for a while challenging his Governor toe to toe in his domain! You have not read the latest. The State allocations doled out to these Governors of Rome every four weeks persuade them to luxuriate in surplus, while we despair in our mire. Senator Malaria is lucky to be alive!
Major 419 Utueke: Chei! The report announced the Governors of Boko Haram territories, the richest Governors in the world. Whatever, Dino Dike Malaria returned fire with fire, indeed he is the new Dike of the hallowed grounds and if the Governors of Rome are being allocated all the peoples’ common-wealth the Senators of Rome according to Senator Ali is also appropriating themselves Nigeria’s today and tomorrows’ sovereign bills. Hence the spineless Edo Senator Mathew Mark is speaking from both parts of his mouth…
Col. Evil G. Babamusa: These bloody politicians are damned selfish. They put up countless theatres for the vulnerable people and later return to loot, allocate and share together.
Sargent Okon Bassey: I told you at the last Trial of Dino Malaria that the Nigerian system will eventually hoist him up and he will end up as a hero. Look at the Omo Ga Ga Mercy Ovie Macey, nobody including the police touched his shoes after he kidnapped the Mace.
Col. Olakampo: Those Senators of Rome who promised to fight the INEC election 2019 schedule betrayed themselves.
Brigadier Boji-Boji Atamuna: All roads lead to Benue before the headquarters charges me for ‘AWOL’. I am going to pronounce the Regiment’s Verdict on Dino Malaria before you young officers digress my command and mission.
Col. Evil G. Babamusa: A Verdict in the absence of Dino Malaria and that Governor from Lokoja smacks of a Kangaroo ruling.
Brigadier Boji-Boji Atamuna: I go to arrange for ‘Operation Akpabana Benue Confluence.’ As a result of the Benue exigency, I Brigadier One leg Atamuna, Twicee to the GOC hereby dismiss Dino Malaria, as earlier pronounced. Malaria is a pretender Senator. He has no compelling Bill, no any impacting Law to his name since his tenure at the hallowed chambers. He is not educated enough to initiate productive Debates beneficial to his peoples’ development. What has been his contributions in the oversight checks on the reckless executive?
Sargent Okon Bassey: Abasi Mbok! Sir what is ‘Operation Akpabana?
Brigadier Boji-Boji Atamuna: ‘ Akpagana’is Igalla therefore in English ‘Operation Akpabana is Operation Thunder and Lightening! As a Prince from Uzonisha, Igala, I shall mobilize my peoples’ medicine men, ‘Ichekpa’ Sorcerers to face the marauding herdsmen. These Cow Fulanis primarily mobilizing from Mali, Niger and Chad’ armed to the teeth are invoking the Fulani Sokugo to bring darkness to the paths of all the hosting communities in the battle of who owns the Benue confluence.[ In full battle gear Brigadier Boji- Boji One leg Atamuna reinforced further his kit by wrapping in Ele …parts of a boa-constrictor, Igbi a special type of snail, Ogbaniko, ant lion, Onunu-akpe the sting of a scorpion, Iloji Ichekpa the hair of Ichekpa, Igagwu the electric fish and a one eyed Tortoise. For the first time since his enlistment Brigadier Atamuna did not fringe as he pulled off his army camouflage and stood on attention in full naked view of his Subalterns, junior officers and other ranks. Before his next ritual invocations to the god of the Ichekpas, the Commander of the moving Operation Akpagana Thunder asked for one, last before the battle favor from his utterly exasperated charging soldiers.
Brigadier Atamuna: What do you want before you die or banish the genocide bandits from the Benue thunder confluence?
Sir, we want Sonny Okosunlklopojmp…we want to know who owns the land..my Papa’s land!