As far as I am concerned, all the political drama going on in Imo, Benue and Kano states and leading to the impeachment of some political characters amounts to nothing but locking of horns.
Chika Abanobi
Brothers and Sisters in Crisis, I was sleeping and daydreaming about what I would do with my own share of the $322m Abacha’s loot, when and if Tukur Rumar of the National Cash Transfer Office (NTCO), finally hands me my portion, when some objects began to fall on me from above. But without any order from above like the armed policemen who chased out staff of the Benue State House Assembly and shut down the place, had.
Some fell on my head, some on my navel/stomach, some on my eyelids, some on my mouth/lips, some on my legs/feet and some on my hands/arms. I looked around me. Lo and behold, they were words from our recent political experiences. Lying on the floor around me were words like impeach (impich?), impeached (impiched?), impeachment (impichment?), impeachment drama (impichment drama?), orders from above, democracy (dem-all-crazy?), “prison-yard democracy,” lawmakers (LOL-makers?), political actors, unfolding political drama, political jobbers, unfolding Benue saga (sagging?) and cabal (carbide?).
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I picked the first one, impeach (impich) and later its brothers or is it sisters (impeached, impeachment and impeachment drama). At that moment, someone or something pinched (impiched?) me. For those who don’t know, impi, means ‘horn’ in Igbo language.
As far as I am concerned, all the political drama going on in Imo, Benue and Kano states and leading to the impeachment of some political characters amounts to nothing but locking of horns (or isu mpi). Could it be that impeach and impi have something in common? Linguistically speaking? Who knows!
And, so when I read that some people have been impiched, Imo State Deputy Governor, Prince Eze Madumere and Yusuf Abdullahi, the Kano State speaker, for instance, and that some lawmakers (LOL-makers?) are bent on doing the same to my able Governor, Samuel Ortom (Otom? – a word which translates in Igbo as someone/something wey dey sweet me), I began to understand why. They were all engaged in political isu impi, with their political opponents.
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But when I asked who gave the LOL-makers (?), the impi with which they were trying to impich him, someone said that it is an order from above. Brothers and Sisters in Crisis, I have contacted our guardian angels living above. They have washed their hands off the matter! Angel Michael said he was not aware of such order being given by anybody in the three cases mentioned. Angel Gabriel also said the same thing. I have searched everywhere above, to know who gave the orders both to the lawmakers and policemen to do what they did. I am still waiting to be told which of the angels gave the order to the authorities (otority?) to carry out these impichments. But I heard that there is another angel called Adams, although I am yet to ask him. Could he be the one then?
Talking about impi, I know where rams, rhinos and cattle got their own impi from (from mother Nature), but these LOL-makers that have been going about chasing away every House Assembly Clerk, security guard and Sergeant-at-Arm (?), where did they get their own impi from? And, so when I heard that an Eze Madumere (whose names incidentally translate to “Man-made Prince/King or the Prince/ King made by man”; it could also mean “Prince betrayed/done in by man”), has been impiched, I began to look to see whether I can see impi on the head of any of those lawmakers who carried out the orders from above, but up till the time of penning this down, I am yet to see impi on their heads or foreheads.
You should understand then why the Sokoto State Governor, Aminu Waziri (Nwaozuru?) Tambuwal urged Nigerians to reject what he called ‘prison-yard democracy.’ Prison-yard democracy? Brothers and Sisters in Crisis, it looks like I am still daydreaming, not about my own share of Abacha’s loot, this time around but of our political drama. Well, that’s what newspaper reports call them. Drama. And, if we have drama, then we must have dramatists or dramatic (dramatis?) personae.
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So? It’s all drama or alawada? Little wonder there was some saga (‘sagging’?), of it in Imo, Benue, Kwara and Kano. Impeachment drama. Political drama. Come o, which of the parts are you playing in the drama? Actor? Director? Producer? Executive Producer? And, political jobbers? Pray, who did they apply to, to get the job? Who vetted their applications?
I have been ‘pinched’(impeached?) by political jobbers. Don’t stand there and be looking as if you don’t know what I am talking about. I say I have been ‘impiched.’ Someone just pinched me. You better come forward with a bucket (bouquet?) of apologies, if you are the one that did it. I don’t care if you are acting with orders from above or below.