There’re are emotional and physical problems associated with middle age that young people should understand as they grow into full maturity.
The middle age period is the age bracket of 50 to 60, the peak of human growth, after which diminishing returns begin to set in. This is the second time I am dealing with this subject because it is so important.
When a man or woman clocks 30, they are like the sun in its full effulgence, radiating the brightness of its glory. That was why Jesus began his earthly ministry at 30. That is the age arrival at manhood is celebrated in most cultures. At 40, people tend to end their wilderness, for 40 is the number of trials.
Any 40-year-old ought to have acquired a reasonable level of wisdom to be able to sail smoothly in the sea of life. At this age, nothing is new. You are supposed to have seen it all, as we say.
There are few surprises awaiting someone at 40, the bedrock of middle age. However, that is when midlife troubles begin to brew. You have heard the saying, “A fool at 40 is a fool forever.” Wisdom enables one to deal with the inevitable crises that rear their ugly heads at this defining period, which is sometimes called the “terrible 40s.” Yet, this age group is the foundation of middle age.
In fact, the 40s define your middle and old age, how you would spend your older years depends largely on your health and financial status at this age. At 50, if you are living in Nigeria, you are likely to be at the departure hall because life expectancy here is between 50 and 60. Most deaths occur at this time in our country for a number human development factors.
Our concern here is not how to circumvent the inevitable but to highlight coping strategies to deal with midlife crises. If you are in your middle age, you are likely to be experiencing gradual decline in various areas of your health. For women, menopause begins to set in, with all the related hormonal changes that bring vaginal dryness, flushes, low libido, short fuse due to emotional imbalance, etc.
You find to your embarrassment, your once slim, killer shape has been taken over by middle age spread, increased weight, sluggish movements, body weakness, poor motivation, white hair, both on the head and the pubic areas. With your beauty fading, you wonder if you are still the same sweetheart of your darling husband. If you are a working class woman, you face the grim spectre of retirement, lower incomes, loneliness and further declining health.
Middle age men face virtually the same crises except that, in the areas of sexuality, they experience erectile dysfunction, needing aphrodisiacs to be able to sustain performance. That is why some sexually vibrant wives of middle age folks flirt with younger men. Sexual performance is a major cause of marital conflict in middle age couples and, if not well managed, often leads to divorce.
If you are facing this kind of challenge, you don’t have to suffer in silence; go to a sex therapist, they’d get you kicking again with a range of libido boosters available today. Don’t lose your wife to gigolos! Don’t lose your husband to sweet 16s!
Declining health in middle age is not a death sentence, everyone goes through it at some point. All you need do is face the challenges squarely; battle your dragon and overcome it and, if it is invincible, manage or master it. Develop the emotional thick skin to cope with any problem you can’t solve, as not all problems in life have solutions.
Every middle age person must pay more attention to health management because staying healthy is their responsibility. Just as you eat and drink water daily, take your bath daily to stay healthy, you need to maintain every other aspect of your body to stay healthy at any age. A middle-age person should visit their doctor more regularly because, like an old car, they need frequent checkups to function well. There are many things to avoid in middle age. You can’t indulge in certain habits associated with young folks whose defense mechanisms can fend off the negative effects of bad behaviours. For instance, decades ago, you could run, jump, carry heavy weights, go “rounds” of sex, drink, party till daybreak, smoke packs of cigarettes daily, etc. If you try these things in middle age, you’d kill yourself. You have to let go of many things to mitigate the stress of middle-age life.
Older years should be enjoyed, not endured. If you live well, take good care of your body, soul and spirit, it would be well with you. You don’t have to suffer in old age, regardless of your health status. All you need do is increase your medical budget, rest longer, refresh your mind by reading good books, worship in anointed churches, forgive and forget, be at peace with all men who desire peace, let go and let God. That’s one way to enjoy midlife.
You need to, after you have done your best, pray and commit your life to Jesus Christ, he’d protect you.
Weekend Spice: Failure is a process. That means you have not failed until you give up. – Pastor Michael Nwimoh
Ok folks, let’s do it again next Friday. Stay blessed.
•Ayodeji is an author, rights activist, pastor and life coach. He can be reached on 09059243004 (SMS & WhatsApp only)