Someone sent a report through my WhatsApp, concerning a man in Algeria, who sued his wife for Thirteen Thousand Pounds for ‘fraud, trauma and psychological suffering’, she employed in deceiving him to marry her. He argues that she did not put on any makeup the first time they met, and that she was beautiful. The next morning after their wedding, that he was shocked when he saw her natural face. He claims that she used the makeup to fill up her face before their marriage. Though I do not subscribe to paintings, the issue looks more of a joke than in real life. Could he have bought a car, only to know the next day that it has no tyre or back seat?
This is one of the reasons, why we must appreciate the Church and Christian organizations for not allowing their members to be making mockery of this great covenant, instituted by God. Uncle may be one of those people, who have no regard for God and His marriage covenant. Churches and Christian organizations insist that the two people of opposite gender, seeking to be joined in marriage, must pass through their Marriage Committee. They will fill the necessary forms that probe into their personal lives. Churches have well-written programme for this. The Marriage Committee will have sessions for discussion and questioning about their beliefs, accommodation of the bridegroom-to-be, any previous marriages, salary of each, et cetera. In many Churches, the training may be about six months.
Restriction is placed on visiting themselves, and warnings are made on premarital sex. They are drilled thoroughly on God’s position in marriage. Nothing about them is hidden from the committee and also between the two of them. If the lady or the man is wearing any makeup, or facial transplant, six months counselling is sufficient to unmask it.
Lawyers insist on ‘caveat emptor’, that is to say that each time we are buying things, we must be very careful. It applies to all contractual relationships. Most of these things are what we purchase and can resell, if we are no longer interested in them. The Officiating Minister in the Church may not be a lawyer, yet he insists when joining people during a wedding, that they must be aware of the persons they are joining with. This, he does, by telling the bridegroom to remove the veil, with which the bride’s face is covered partially. He then asks him, whether the person he is beholding is the lady he wants to marry really. That would have been another opportunity for Uncle, who is suing, to know if the lady padded her face.
Did the Minister ask him whether he would take the lady, to be his wedded wife, ‘For better and for worse…’ until they are separated by death? Was it not the time, if his eyes have been failing him, for him to get someone to help him in examining her, before making the irrevocable vow? Did they do traditional engagement? Did they do court marriage? Did they do Church wedding? If Uncle was deceived by the lady, were his family members deceived also? Did the lady deceive his friends and Church members, who attended the wedding?
The Bible has a record of marriages for us. Abraham sent his servant to get a wife for Isaac, his son, under a vow. The servant settled first for prayer, so that God would direct him. And He did. Rebecca, God’s choice, emerged miraculously. She took the servant, not to the Court Registry, but to her parents and family members. A celebration party was held. Had she used makeup to cover the deficient parts of her body, some people would have known and would have told the servant. I attended a meeting with a Christian sister, in those days, and when I paid her subscription fees, an uncle of hers, whispered to me that she had given birth before, thinking that we were friends and that I might marry her! To his surprise, I told him that she had told me. And she had!
The content of the prayer of Abraham’s servant is noteworthy. He told God to direct to him, the ‘Lady that Thou hast appointed for Thy servant, Isaac’ – Gen 24:12-15. He knew that it is God, Who gives wives and husbands to His children. He knew that it was, God, Who brought Eve to Adam – Gen. 2:22. Let Uncle tell us the person that gave him the padded lady! Did he pray to the Living God to give him the wife, He had prepared for him? Where did he meet the lady? How did they agree to marry? It is possible to meet a lady in a dancing hall, digging it expertly, and her dancing steps will attract men like him. At the end of the party, the man will take her home and in the morning, they will be at the Marriage Registry, where their nuptial knots will be tied. The next morning, Uncle will sue her for misrepresentation in her body features, because, what he was seeing under the influence of alcohol, is no longer there!
The lady, he is suing, might even sue him for deceiving her about his sight. She married him, not knowing that he is blind partially. Had he not disclosed that morning, that he could not make a difference between a face without makeup and the one with makeup, she would not have known. If they travel, and he sees another lady, will he not embarrass her by mistaking the lady for her? What would happen when they have children and he goes to pick them at school, will he not come home, one day, with strange children, thinking that they are their children? If she pays him in Naira, the Thirteen Thousand he is demanding, instead of in Pound sterling, will he even know? How will she marry such a man?
It is not new for two people, after joining in marriage, to decide to call it quits. In one case, it was on their way to their Reception Hall, that they disagreed on something and Aunty pulled out her wedding ring, threw it away and then left. That conduct, before God, did not affect in any way, the union He had made. In another case, in 1993, I was the Reception Chairman during a wedding. I travelled to the World Trade Centre, New York, a few days after. When I returned, it was strong in the rumour mill that Uncle did not want to continue with the marriage. Bringing the couple together, on a lighter mood, I said, “Bring all of us, who attended your wedding and announce to us that you are not going to marry again. Then give back to us the wedding gifts we gave you”.
Uncle was surprised to hear these things. I then shared God’s Word with them, stressing that marriage is immutable. Thank God that He intervened, and healed their poor relationship. Be careful where and how you get your spouse!
For further comment, Please contact: Osondu Anyalechi: 0802 3002-471; [email protected]