The Sun newspaper published a sad story on Saturday, May 18, 2019, detailing how the wife of a Youth Service member was impregnated by his best friend. The corper was so engrossed with the responsibilities in his primary assignment that he could not travel home for six months. That was also in agreement with the decision he had reached with his wife to stay away from pregnancy until he finished his service.
Arriving home two weeks ago, no explanation could satisfy him why his wife was not waiting to receive him at the motor park, and strangely also, his best friend he had been communicating with all the time was not there. At home, he saw what he never conjectured of nor dreamt about, and the picture became clearer – his wife with protruding belly! It was not possible for her to rope him in, since pregnancy is only by contact. “Is pregnancy now by infection like infectious diseases, and no more by contact, like contagious diseases?” Refusing her evil desire in 1975, I asked a married lady, who told me that she would like to have a light skinned baby from me. “It is by contact,” she replied. “It is not possible then,” I told her.
Feeling bad for what she did, Aunty alleged that it was her husband’s friend that lured her to his house after an outing. One wonders the type of outing they went to have prompted that. “Lead me not into temptation,” our Lord Jesus taught us to pray. It is an answered prayer as God will not lead us to a wrong place. It is important for us to consider the places we go, whether the Lord Jesus can go there too. You may consider it cowardice, it does not bother me, if I refuse to go a place I know that the angels of God will fear to tread. I may also refuse to share a bed with a woman I am not sure of her spiritual life. I may sleep on the chair or on the floor.
Her second line of defence was that her husband’s friend was good in bed and so good at it that he wiped the memories of her husband’s touch from her mind. “We had sex every day,” she said shamelessly. Uncle agreed with her that he is the father of the baby she is carrying but accuses her of championing their misadventure. “The girl demanded sex from me…she actually begged for it,” he said. He claimed also that she was making their sinful pleasure a regular affair and when he reminded her about pregnancy, she said that she knew when to get pregnant. It sounds incredible how a relationship between a woman and her husband’s friend would be built on sex expertise. Should they even discuss sex? Is it sex performance that sustains marriage?
The evil relationship started the day Uncle and his friend’s wife went where they should not have gone. If someone had challenged them, they might have advanced strong reasons in defence. In a related circumstance, I asked the man how his wife would feel, should she meet him and the lady in such an environment. He was honest to reply that she would not like it. “Then, break off,” I advised him but he did not until a sad tragedy struck: the lady died in his one-room apartment!
That a lady requests sex from me does not mean that I should consent to it. Life is about making choices. God condemns adultery and sex outside marriage. If a lady pleads with me to have sex with her, I will make my choice who to please: to please her or to obey God. Uncle made his choice by obliging her. He so much liked his choice that they were doing it every day and God was watching. Not a new comer at the game, it was not strange to her, a lady, who without any qualm, admitted that she had aborted four times!
We live in a strange world, a world, where a woman can do unimaginable things like holding the man she wants to sleep with at the most sensitive parts of his body. It does not matter. Whatever she does is not a licence to commit sin. What she may do did not start today. Who knows where the amorous wife of Potiphar was holding Joseph, her houseboy? How could a slave, promoted to a servant, withstand the pressure of his mistress, an Army officer’s wife? Joseph did! Who could imagine the type of bed, the couple had, that she was luring him to? Joseph did not care! Who even knows whether she was stark naked at that time? Joseph might have closed his eyes from beholding iniquity. Who can imagine the types of gifts, money, favour, freedom, et cetera, she might have promised him? Joseph did not want! The reason was that his mind was made up to please God and Him only!
Well, we teach that a couple should live together, but before wedding, each of them may live anywhere. After wedding, we encourage them to do their utmost to live together. The US Company I worked for and retired from understood this very well. At their expense, if a staff member travelled outside Nigeria for training or to work, he would go with his wife, unless it was not possible. Staying six months away from Aunty was not the best. May we learn from this.
His friend is full of regrets for sleeping with Aunty. Thank God that he did not deny it, but the deed has been done. If you kill my dad, I will forgive you but you have caused me not to have a dad. This is why we should be careful for the things we do. In my house, we end our morning devotion by asking the Lord for grace not just go to any place He will not go and not also to do anything that is ungodly. Aunty was surprised that her husband had made the it public what she thought should be a domestic matter. Who will blame him?
I plead with the corper to forgive his wife and his friend. “You mean, to be the dad of a child, he is not the father?” You may ask. Yes. That was what God did for us, by making us, gentiles, to be joint heirs with Jesus, His Son. Thank God for the Lord Jesus, if not, how are you sure that you are the father of the ones that call you, ‘Daddy’? A lady confessed to me that she was pregnant and that her husband was not responsible for it and that she had told him. I counselled her and prayed with her. At home, my wife and I prayed for her husband to accept the pregnancy. With his telephone number she gave me, I contacted him, pleading with him to forgive her and accept the pregnancy. He insisted on abortion but I told him doing that will amount to was committing murder. He did not know that I was praying during our long telephone discussion. At last he bowed. The child is now in the Senior Secondary School.
The Lord Jesus taught us to forgive the trespasses of others as God forgives us. Let the corper take his wife.
For further comment, Please contact: Osondu Anyalechi: 0802 3002-471; [email protected]