You have mastered the art of dating and have had your fair share of fun whilst you perfected your craft on the dating scene. You gravitate towards casual dating and sleeping around.
But lately, you now feel like the chase no longer interests you and crave a serious relationship. You have discovered your personal strengths and weaknesses, made room in your heart for someone else. You are no longer all over the place because you desire a proper dating life.
Effects spoke to some men and women who revealed how they knew they were finally ready for a serious relationship.
Samuel: I was tired of playing games
I have been in and out of meaningless relationships. I have enjoyed my fair share of one night stands, and flirted more times than I could ever keep track of. I suddenly felt this inexplicable yearning to stop playing my life and regroup my emotions.
I was tired of not just the game, but of being single as well. Fun is fleeting but true feelings and emotions are what stick. Although there is nothing wrong with being alone, I was tired of the singles game and wanted something more consistent with a good woman.
Slowing down was a sign that I wanted something more meaningful with a worthy woman. I am glad I found her. She is my peace. We have been married for five months now.
Oluwaseun: You will know what you want when the time comes
When you are ready for a serious relationship, the days of making poor choices and thinking of the present only will be a thing of the past. Confidence in yourself, your abilities and your future will show you that you are ready for a proper relationship.
When you know what you want and do not apologize for being yourself, you tend to make better decisions regarding relationships. At the end of the day, when you are confident about yourself, you can go into a relationship confidently.
Promise: I took time to know her when I was ready
I knew that I was ready for a long term relationship when I found myself taking my time to get to know my present girlfriend. Instead of mindlessly flirting to get into her pants like I did in my past relationships, I took the initiative to talk and engage her in things that we are both passionate about.
It does not matter if the two of you discuss the state of the economy or your favorite foods, so long as you make an effort to engage in interesting conversation with the sole purpose of getting to know the person, you are on the right track.
Patrick: Being financially stable means you are ready
I am not saying that broke people do not deserve to be in a relationship. It simply refers to the fact that if you are financially stable, you have more time and freedom to focus on making your relationship work as opposed to constantly worrying about where your next meal is coming from and whether you will be able to pay some of your bills.
Bringing a woman into such a situation will cause you and her stress. You will spend more time fighting over the scarcity of money rather than bonding like couples do. I knew that I was ready for a serious relationship when I became financially stable. It made things easier for us. We have been married for two years now.
Aitekere: Being emotionally available meant I was ready
If you are emotionally available and are not prone to getting angry at the world for no apparent reason, you are more likely to be ready for a relationship than someone who is an emotional wreck.
You have to be ready to accept someone else into your life to make a serious relationship work, and the only way to do so is to be emotionally satisfied with yourself first.
When I met my present boyfriend, I was at that place that made me emotionally available to give myself to him without holding back and without fear of getting hurt. That was how we built a beautiful relationship for almost a year now. It is pure bliss.
Andy: Having zero expectations paved the way for me
I snapped out of my fantasy and eliminated the expectations I had about settling down with a perfect woman. Doing that made me realize that was much more beautiful. Having zero expectations paved the way for me as I am enjoying my relationship with my princess.
Although there is nothing wrong with setting relationship standards, but if you are too picky and disregard every potential partner who comes into your life simply because you have set unrealistic expectations, you will end up being in a relationship that is doomed to fail.
Stella: When I got over my ex, I created room for a serious relationship
It took me a while to get over ex. That affected other relationships I had. I kept seeing him in other men and continued punishing innocent men for the pain my ex fiancé caused me.
I tell ladies these days that if they are not over their last relationship, they are certainly not ready for a new one. It is as simple as that. We should make an effort to invite new and positive energy into our lives even if it means severing all thoughts and ties with our exes if you have to.
What I learnt from that experience was that there was no point dwelling on the past if your goal is to progress in your future. I got over my ex, I created room for a serious relationship with a man who worships the ground I walk on.
Ann: I saw no need to conform
Once you have released the pressure to conform to society, you will find that you will be a happier person. That in turn will lead you to be more prepared to share your life with someone else.
As I matured, I discovered that societal conventions such as getting married by a certain age, excelling in work no matter how detrimental it is to your happiness, judging people on what they wear and so on can put a strain on your ability to be happy and ready for a serious relationship.
When I saw no need to conform to societal expectations and timing, I met a young man who shared many things with me in common. He didn’t mind that I was 37-years-old. We are inseparable and we are getting married soon.
Kenneth: I was ready when I learnt from my past mistakes
To me, there is no point in being in a serious relationship if you are going to repeatedly make the same mistakes. Whether it is being possessive with your woman or distrusting her, you are not ready for a serious partnership if you are going to behave the same way you did in the past.
The whole point of aging is to learn from our mistakes and try to be a better person. If you do not learn the life lessons you are supposed to, then you are certainly not ready to be with someone. I learnt from my mistakes and became a better man for my current woman.
Tolulope: When I was fine being single, I was ready to mingle
When I was fine being single, I was ready to mingle for a serious relationship. Before you can ride off into the sunset with the person of your dreams, you first have to be happy being alone. I learnt this and it worked for me.
There is nothing wrong with being single before finding that someone special. It gives you the opportunity to learn and appreciate who you are as an individual. Once you are happy being alone, you will realize that you should not dive into a relationship just for the sake of it.