Heart Congress By Kate Halim
People set goals in life. They set goals at work, with their finances, their hobbies and passion, but many people forget to set relationship goals. Relationship goals are important for new couples because they give their fresh romance a direction.
Moreover, shared goals ensure that couples are on the same level and understand exactly what they want out of their relationship and from each other. Goals strengthen relationships and give it a better chance to last.
So let’s take a look at some inspiring relationship goals new couples set.
Chigozie: We agree to talk about everything
Relationships also come to a premature end when couples don’t talk to each other about important things, such as how many children they want, where they want to live and whether they have to move to another state.
If you know a tough conversation is coming that could potentially cause conflict in your relationship, it can be very tempting to avoid it and say that you will cross that bridge when you get there.
This is prolonging the heartache. You need to iron out your fundamental issues as soon as possible. Get the difficult conversations out of the way and be open to each other. That is what my wife and I do and it has been working for us so far. We agree to talk about everything.
Olivia: Our goal is engage in open and honest communication
My husband and I got married last November and we are still treading the waters, getting to know each other. We have heard our misunderstanding and fights such that we are wondering if our union is going to last but we settle and move on.
Even though we fall into the trap of playing the communication game or give each other the silent treatment sometimes, we recently resolved to engage in open and honest communication. I have discovered that instead of ignoring one another when we are upset, we talk honestly about what we are feeling. I know that if we are going to last without frustrating one another endlessly, it’s time to communicate and honestly too.
Nsikak: We hang out with each other’s friends
Many new relationships have been so complicated that they have caused some people to lose their closest friends. Sometimes, these friends tell us our new partner is not right for us, and that he hates us. They demand that we make a choice between them and the ones we are dating.
I have made it clear to my present boyfriend that my friends won’t take the back seat because he came into my life. We decided to get along with all our closest friends as one of our relationship goals. I know his friends, he knows mine. We hang out for dinner, catch a movie and even go on couples’ vacation together.
Anthony: We are the best of friends
I have always been a loving and expressive person all my life. So, when I started dating, I made up my mind to become, not just boyfriend to my girlfriend, but best friends with her.
Romantic chemistry is important, but it will eventually fizzle out unless there is something else to sustain the relationship – such as friendship. If this one is really going to be the one, you should feel comfortable talking to one another about anything. My partner is the one I turn to for anything.
I discuss important issues with her and ask her opinion before I take steps on some things. We are best friends. To me, that is the most important goal any couple can set for their relationship because friendship never fades.
Tina: Giving each other ‘me time’ works for us
As new couples, we tend to be loved and want to spend much time with one another. But my husband and I give each other enough time apart. I respect him enough to let him know how much I love him but I just want to spend time alone. That way, we look forward to seeing each other more. We don’t cling to each other annoyingly. We understand that is important to us and it can be very beneficial for our marital relationship.
Mary: We’ll continue to express our love towards each other however long we stay married
Love is the most important ingredient of a successful and happy relationship. Oftenrimes, when partners have been together for some time, they forget the importance of expressing love and it is not only talking about expressing love with words but with actions too.
My husband and I show our love to each other through some simple daily gestures of attention and care, like taking to each other, a glass of our favourite drink while watching our favourite programme. Sometimes, my husband wakes up early and prepare me breakfast just to appreciate me. Over time, all these little seeds of love, attention and care will grow into a wonderful lifetime of love and happiness. We have been married for eight months now.
William: Listening to each other has sustained our relationship
Too many relationships come to a premature end because there is not enough listening and understanding involved. If you and your partner fight, and you feel as though your voice is not being heard, it will end in tears.
As a man, I know that listening when my wife is taking is important to her. She feels good when I take time to listen to her fears, issues and suggestions. We learn because we listen, and our relationship has grown because we understand each other.
We cast aside preconceptions and actually listen to everything the other has to say. If my wife has a concern, I listen and don’t interrupt her. I don’t assume I know what she’s going to say, it makes her angry and defensive. I take time to hear her through.
Jennifer: We agreed to always support each other
When we started our relationship six months ago, we made a pact to always support each other no matter how angry we are. I know that lovers need assurance from their partners that they will always be on hand to talk to them and support them when they need them.
If you are feeling lonely, or if you have had a bad day at work, you need to know that your partner will pick up the phone – even in the middle of the night and support you no matter what. This is the kind of relationship I am building with my boyfriend.
He knows he can also count on me to be his source of strength and support whenever he needs it. That to me, is the most important relationship goal any couple could set. It strengthens our bond and makes us look out for each other’s interests.
Chris: Our goal is to always enjoy sex as long as we are married
Some couples might think being in a long-term relationship means you have to accept that the passion is bound to fade, but that’s a lie. Once you meet the person you love, you both should strive to please each other in bed.
This is one goal my wife of two years and I set since we met and It has kept us glued to each other. We watch porn together, learn and try new sex styles with each other. We take time to learn the art of pleasuring each other in bed. There is never a dull moment with us when it comes to sex.