Falling in love is sweet and basking in the euphoria of new love is exhilarating. Being in a new relationship makes men and women mushy and being a newly married couple is one of the most sweetest things one can experience in life.
But what some couples forget is that long-term relationships eventually and inevitably become boring if you remove romance from the equation. If you no longer do the things that endeared your partner to you because you are now married, romance will fizzle out of your relationship.
When these couples experience moments in which feelings of attraction, desire, or sexual excitement are not powerfully stimulating, they assume that the flame has gone out and that the future is bleak.
While it is impossible to prevent stale moments from occurring in marriages, couples can keep love alive require infusing their marriage with more fun and pleasure.
Effects spoke to some men and women to find out how they keep the flame of romance burning in their marriages. Here are their responses:
Belinda: My husband and I don’t stop dating each other
As a married woman, I can you for free that dates and outings aren’t exclusively for young lovers; they can be magic for couples who have been together for over a decade
Leaving the home provides a change of scenery and enlivens things for both partners. But staying home for a date can be fun, too if you set a romantic tone especially at this time of social distancing.
My husband and I make dates a regular feature of our relationship. Right now, we set aside a day to talk about us, our marriage and play with each other. It keeps our marriage going. Romance doesn’t have to die in long term marriages, couples just have to be creative.
Godwin: I don’t take my wife for granted
If you have been married for a long time, you might start taking your spouse for granted. This is why I don’t forget to tell my wife that she looks and smells nice all the time.
We have been married for thirteen years and we still love each other. I do my best to make her feel like that young lady I wooed fresh out of the university. Complimenting her and being kind to her has become the secret to making her smile and ready for sex anytime I want it.
When she does something I am proud of or something she has been trying to achieve for a while, I compliment her. My wife thrives on praise and positive feedback and I give her lots of compliments.
If I want more kisses, more sex and a wife who never stops loving, I acknowledge and compliment her all the time. I don’t take my wife for granted.
Beatrice: We create time to be with each other
I pity couples who claim that there’s not enough time to create loving moments with their partners. In life, there is always enough time, depending on how you choose to prioritize it. Unfortunately, many couples assign higher priority to their jobs, businesses, social activities and commitments other than their relationships.
It is necessarily because they don’t value their relationships, but because they inadvertently take their spouses for granted and create the false belief that they can afford to neglect their connection or put it on cruise control. They assume that since they are committed, their relationship is solid and doesn’t require the time, attention, and energy it did in the early, less secure, days.
My husband of over 10 years and I spend time together as often as we can. We create time to be with each other weekly. We go on date nights. We go on lunch dates when it is convenient.
But because we can’t do those things now because of the coronavirus pandemic, we watch movies together on Netflix and dance to our favorite music just to bond.
We don’t stop dating each other. It takes our time and efforts but our relationship is never boring. Marriage doesn’t have to be boring and romance doesn’t have to be stale.
Irene: We buy each other gifts
For me and my husband, buying gifts for each other is a means of keeping romance alive. In my experience, it works best if the gifts are very personal; they don’t need to be expensive, but they do need to show that you have been thinking about your spouse.
At one time, I bought hubby a book by his favourite author, delivered it to his office without his knowledge. It showed him that I know something about him. He was so happy about it that he gave me money for a massage that week.
One day, he delivered my favourite perfume at home while I was on leave. It wasn’t Valentine’s Day or our anniversary, but he did it just to put a smile on my face. That night, our bed suffered for it because we had many rounds of sex.
Linda: Being in the tub together enhances the spirit of romance
It is delightful to spend an evening together, just you and your spouse in your own bath tub. It doesn’t cost much other than perfumed body washes and scented candles to set the mood for romance and hot sex afterwards.
Going into the tub with each other by candlelight enhances the spirit of romance. We take turns servicing each other. We bathe each other and wash each other’s bodies. I shave his face and he shaves my legs. That’s pure bliss for married couples.
Frank: My wife and I give each other space to do our individual things
These days, my wife and I are always together. And while it can be challenging yo be with your spouse all day, we give each other space to do out individual things but come together at night.
After dinner, we listen to music together and dance. Because we love our privacy, we dance with each other in our bedroom. One of the advantages of doing that include dancing naked and you know what follows dancing naked and looking at your woman’s body. Many times, my wife and I dance nude and end up in bed doing sexy things to each other’s bodies.
Samuel: We give each other massages
I love it whenever my wife massages my neck and shoulders after a long, hard day. It’s soothing and relaxing. It also makes me horny.
For me, massage is another great way to keep romance alive. You don’t need a massage table or fancy scented oils—and you don’t have to be a professionally-trained masseuse or masseur to bring a loving touch.
What matters is the thought behind it and pleasure we give to each other through massage. This is how we keep romance alive in our relationship. I have been married for 13 years now and I am still in love with my wife like the first time we started dating.
Olubunmi: We don’t take each other for granted
It is a mistake to take your spouse for granted and assume that your marriage doesn’t require care and attention. If neglect continues for too long, it can be a recipe for disaster. I don’t neglect my husband neither does he neglect me. We are committed to our marriage.
After several years, it’s may be easy to take your spouse for granted. Couples might slide into just being roommates or business partners, or, if they are raising children, co-parents. If those roles come to define the relationship, the vital component of being lovers can get squeezed out. Romance will die in such a setting.
My husband and I don’t take each for granted. We talk a lot, listen to each other’s concerns, take decisions together, crack jokes and play. Life may be hard these days but life is what we make out of it.
Kingsley: We go on honeymoon every five years
I am a believer of renewing the feelings of honeymoons among couples. I have been married for 15 years now and my wife and I go on honeymoons every five years. We leave our children with their grandparents and focus on pleasing and loving each other alone for a minimum of two weeks.
It has become our marriage tradition. Honeymoons aren’t just for the newly married. Couples who have been married for a decade need to incorporate honeymoons into their relationship to keep the love that brought them together alive after many years.