What do men and women look out for when they meet a new prospective date? What are some of the qualities they look out for? How do they know if this new love interest is compatible with them or not?
Some guys and ladies told Effects what they look out for in new partners:
Dorothy: I look out for how secured he makes me feel
When I meet a new guy who is interested in me, I ask myself if I feel cared about, liked, and loved by the guy I am with? I know it feels great to go on a fancy lunch and dinner dates or have exciting weekends, but how do I feel in his presence? If I feel special and valued, and he demonstrates that I am the woman he wants to be with, then this guy is worthy of my time.
Tunji: I look out for intelligence
When I ask a lady out, it is a learning process for me. While on dates, I find out if she is real or fake. There are too many fake ladies around these days that a man must be careful not to end up with a slay queen who is useless in other areas.
I look out for intelligence, wisdom, maturity and ability to make good life decisions. Any woman who is able to hold her own will have my heart forever. I once dated a girl who was beautiful, turned heads whenever we went out but she was empty upstairs.
It was a huge turn off for me. I tried to stay with her because she was so beautiful and respectful but I knew that she won’t make a good partner in the long run. I broke up with her after two months. I was unhappy hurting her but I needed to move on with my life.
Esther: I look out for a loving, respectful man
When it comes to relationships, I look out for loving, kind and respectful men. I can’t stand guys who talk to women anyhow and those who think they are doing women favour by asking them out.
I was asked out last year by a guy who believes women should do everything possible to make men stay with them even if these men are disrespecting them. I didn’t go more than two dates with this guy.
I told him I wasn’t interested in dating a man like him with such a terrible mindset. He responded by telling me that I just lost a good chance of being a wife with him. He boastfully told me that I would get old in my father’s house. I laughed it off.
Johnson: I look out for good character
I believe that being beautiful has nothing to do with what you look like, but everything to do with who you are. I have met quite a few beautiful women in my life whose personalities were appealing but they had bad characters.
These ladies put too much time and energy into ensuring they look good but they are not genuine and real. If you have a conversation one-on-one with some of these girls who are roaming everywhere these days, you will weep for their unborn children.
Many ladies have no character. They lie and fake their lifestyles that you begin to wonder why they are bent on living life that way. I can’t stand a fake woman. I look out for a woman with good character because those ones are the real deal.
Elohor: I look out for a man who has good relationship with money
Whenever I meet a new guy, I try to find out if he respects the value and importance of money. People can call me whatever name they want but money is important to me in relationships. I try to find out if he spends more than he has or if he is so cheap that makes me cringe.
I look out for his financial decisions and find out if saving is part of his relationship with money or he overspends just to impress family and friends. It’s important for me to feel that my guy is able to support himself and that he has a healthy, mature relationship with money.
Henry: I look out for a woman who can show affection
Some ladies don’t know that men are physical human beings. Everything for us elevates with touch. By nature, we are drawn to it. For me, a woman who is very free with her offerings of affection will entice me.
I want a woman to reach out and grab my hand. I want for her to come over and kiss me randomly. I want her to hug me and ask me how my day was. It evokes this feeling of being wanted. I will do anything for a woman who is fully affectionate with me.
Affection strengthens that connection I have with a new date and opens up lines of communication, but more importantly, it makes me feel comfortable and accepted.
Clara: A man who doesn’t get jealous is my spec
Any guy who is ecstatic when I land a new job, get a promotion, or have a great time without him when I am with friends, coworkers or family is the real deal.
I will be 33 years old soon and I don’t want to be trapped in relationships with jealous and insecure guys. I am no longer a kid when it comes to dating and having relations with the opposite sex.
For me, being with someone who is resentful and envious when something good happens to me is draining and not good for my emotional wellbeing. I look out for signs of jealousy and insecurity when I meet a new guy. I don’t have time for drama right now.
Samuel: Intelligence turns me on
Stimulating conversations makes me go crazy. Intelligent women are ones who know so much about the world around them, but even more so, have a keen interest in making it a better place.
They think critically and engage my senses. Furthermore, they have this drive to be successful, which in itself can be my biggest turn on. There’s more to life than the latest handbag, designer shoe or next episode of your favorite reality TV show.
When I meet a new girl that I really like, I engage her in conversations bothering on different issues because I want to know if she will make a good wife or not. The worst thing that can happen to a man is to marry a dumb woman who only knows about the latest clothes, shoes, handbags and holiday destinations.
Anita: I look out for good sense of humour
Life is hard and sometimes full of unanticipated ups and downs, so being able to have a sense of humour even during difficult times is important. I don’t know how some ladies date and marry guys they can’t joke with or laugh and play with.
Whenever I meet a guy who indicates interest in me, I look for his sense of humour. I try to find out if he takes everything too seriously or doesn’t know how to take jokes. Humour warms the soul and sharing laughs both publicly and privately is one of the most intimate shared experiences I can have with someone.