Both men and women lie about sex for different reasons. Women lie to make themselves appear more innocent sexually, to appease men’s ego and to make them fall in love. Men lie to make themselves look like nice guys, to get sex or to spare women’s feelings.
Some ladies took timeout to share with Effects some of the common sex lies men have told them.
Jennifer: I usually last longer
What most men don’t realize is most women are far less concerned about a man climaxing too early than they are taking forever to.
Whenever a guy tells me I usually last longer, I know he’s lying. I know he’s trying to save face. I know he’s trying to convince himself that he didn’t do well and needed to last longer just to please me.
Even though this is a relatively harmless lie, this lie is more about him protecting his delicate male ego rather than deliberately trying to mislead me. I told him not to worry and do better next time. We cuddled for a while and went to see a movie afterwards.
Margaret: I can’t orgasm wearing a condom
This one is the greatest lie of all. The guy who tried this lie with me didn’t expect what I did next. I got up, got dressed and left the hotel room. What kind of glaring fib is this? How do women believe this lie and endanger their lives by having unprotected sex?
Apart from a genuine latex allergy, men can orgasm with a condom on. And even if the guy you are about to have sex with has an allergy, there are alternatives he can choose from without insisting on doing skin-to-skin.
Oluwatoyin: I won’t touch you, we will just sleep
I recently met this guy at the wedding reception of my colleague. We were attracted to each other and started chatting immediately. Weeks after, we went out clubbing. We didn’t leave the club on time and he suggested that I spend time with him in his apartment instead of going home at an odd hour.
I felt uncomfortable immediately. I told him that even though we get along so well, I wasn’t ready to have sex with him just yet. He promised that he won’t touch me because he was tired and needed to sleep.
But when we got to his house, he showed me his true colours. He wanted to have sex with me without a condom and I refused. Having learnt self defense skills as a young child, I defended myself.
All the ‘I’ll sleep on the sofa’ and ‘I swear I won’t touch you, I’ll just lie here’ was a lie. He wanted to use this old format to get me into bed where he hopes I won’t be able to resist giving in to his charms.
After that experience, I never visit a guy alone no matter who he is. You can’t really trust them when it comes to sex.
Chinenye: I fantasize only about you
One thing with guys lying about sex and sex issues is that they think women are naïve. Such guys who tell ladies that they fantasize only about a particular lady think these ladies don’t know it’s impossible for a man to fantasize only about one woman.
One guy told me this in the past and I blatantly told him to stop lying to me. This was a guy who stared at ladies with massive boobs and backside even when we are together and he thought he can fool me by lying about fantasizing only about me. Men and women fantasize about people other than their partner now and then while they are actually having sex with them.
Blessing: I can tell if a woman has reached orgasm
When a guy boldly lies to you that he can tell when a woman has reached orgasm, just know that he is trying to speak highly of his perceived sexual ability to make a woman cum.
This is why many ladies fake orgasm just to boost their men’s ego. I know some ladies who haven’t experienced orgasms who keep lying to their boyfriends and these guys believe them because they are lying too about knowing when a woman has had an orgasm.
When it comes to female orgasm, the only person who knows whether she reached orgasm or not is the woman in question. There is no magic giveaway sign for guys to know when a woman has climaxed. Many ladies fake orgasms.
Doris: I got tested for STDs a few months ago
The first time a guy told me this lie, I laughed so much that he became embarrassed. I don’t know why some guys think women don’t have sense or they can easily be deceived. I always carry a condom with men whenever I want to visit a guy I really like. I can’t have sex with some random guy without a condom.
Even if you got tested a few months ago, I am not going to put my health on the line like that because I have to take a man’s word for it. How do I know what he’s been up to since then? How does he know what the women he’s slept with since have been up to?
When you sleep with one person unprotected, you sleep with everyone they have slept with unprotected – and everyone they have slept with unprotected and so on.
Abisoye: This has never happened before
Months after my boyfriend and I met in the University, we agreed to have sex. But I was disappointed when his manhood refused to be hard. It was flaccid all through. We kissed, touched each other but the rod just refused to be erect.
It was an awkward situation. He kept assuring me that what happened was strange and that it had never happened to him before. I knew he was just trying to save face because his manhood didn’t do what he wanted it to do and get an erection on demand.
The funny aspect of that encounter was that he started making it look as if it was my fault that his staff didn’t get erect. He told me that I didn’t know how to work on a man’s body. I felt bad but later on, I discovered that he had problem getting erect and what happened wasn’t my fault.
Ifeyinwa: You are the best woman I have been with
The day my boyfriend told me I am the best woman he has been with, I felt good. I felt on top of the world. I felt so special. Weeks later, I overheard him telling his cousin that I was inexperienced sexually and he is beginning to get frustrated with me.
I felt terrible. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I didn’t know how I got home from his place that day. I was crying so much that I was quaking with emotions. I hate being lied to. I felt like an idiot.
I didn’t confront him about what he said but our relationship wasn’t the same anymore. We broke up afterwards. I told him why I became indifferent to him after we broke up. He told me I overreacted because guys tell women the same thing even when it’s not true.