One interesting thing about the relationship between married men and their harem of side chicks is that when they are caught in the silly action, they become soft babies and no longer bold to talk about their illicit relationships.
The men involved engage in hide-and-seek game and tell a string of lies to cover their tracks.
Once caught in the grip of embarrassing exposure, the air of bravado of being the man in charge blows over. Some of the men quickly realise that the game is up. They quickly surrender and make real efforts to placate their wives, while some resort to telling more lies in the attempt to cover up. Somehow, to them, the lies seem to be a smarter way to gain ground hoping the heat will cool off.
Assuming that masculinity bravado and physical strength could cover for the embarrassment of being caught, why do men tell unending lies, coupled with apologies and gifts when they are caught in illicit love tango with other women? The fact that the man in news for side chick trouble, Mr. Sonnie Bassey, a lawyer, made a get away after he was exposed by his wife, conclusively proved that strength and bravado fail men in such situations. A further proof is the fact that he knelt down beside the wife’s corpse, crying profusely, begging the spirit of the dead woman to forgive him.
As he wailed, he earnestly pleaded with the wife to come back to life, to take care of their children. Probably, men lie to their wives about their side chicks to save their wives the heartache and anxiety that come from their wives finding out the truth about such love tango with side chicks, to ensure peace at home.
One common way men do this is to concoct and float a story about travelling out of town to deceive their wives. It is in such situation that the man will say something like this: “Our business partners will be arriving in a few days. Arrangements have been concluded to open up other branches in the East, West and North.” By dropping this kind of story, the man effectively throws the woman off the scent of the real intent. Believing the story to be true and could lead to promotion for the husband, the woman will be praying earnestly for the success of the business trip. With Madam effectively deceived, Oga would smile and merrily go off, celebrating another successful deceit of his wife. For male executives in public and notable private companies travelling for business is about the best way to get away for quiet “vacations” with their mistresses. Even those who did not arrange to take their side chicks along on a trip, definitely find one at the location. For instance, gentle Edidiong Edem, a business executive who resides in Lagos with his family could be said to be a man of good conduct and quite respectful. When he wants to travel, he usually takes his undergraduate lover. He would buy two air tickets at different times but on the same flight. At the airport, no one would have any inkling that Edem and the lady knew each other or travelling together. They would sit some distance from each other but maintain eye contact. As the flight is announced, all passengers queue to check in, yet there will not be any communication. On arrival, the side chick would take a taxi to the already reserved hotel and make herself comfortable, while Oga takes another route and gets to his village, attends to his business, meets friends and relatives, and then later head to the hotel in the wee hours of the night. His family members would attest that he came home alone, not knowing that extra sexual pleasure was comfortably awaiting him in the hotel room. The next morning, Oga Edem would take off from the hotel to tidy his business purposes in the town, have his meetings and return to the warm embrace of his side-chick until they are ready to check out of the hotel. Some would arrange for the side-chicks to travel ahead or join them later. From the moment of arrival till the day of departure from the safe and comfortable hotel environment Oga gets his fill nubile flesh and very pleasant sexual experience, all sides, all positions, oh la la.
Another side to this story is that men involved in it have others who play the role as able accomplices who facilitate the manipulation of the buddies’ wives, to ensure that everything is on an even keel, otherwise the boat may capsize. An epic case involved a certain media executive who had a major assignment in the Southeast that was supposed to take about months to complete. He was making excellent progress and the management was happy with him. As it turned out a two-day Muslim holiday fell into the period and extended the weekend plus Monday sit-at-home. While he was doing the official project, he was also performing very well on the unofficial project with his side chick. Meanwhile, he maintained good communication with his family, sharing WhatsApp emojis and having video calls. With the Muslim holiday and sit-at-home on the horizon and Madam feeling the urge to see her husband, especially as “konji” was putting pressure below the equator, she decided to visit her sweetheart and father of their lovable children, to personally deliver their message of encouragement in the ongoing official project. Then, it was a two days Muslim holiday coupled with the weekend and the compulsory Monday sit-at-home; Madam and her driver embarked on a trip to the Southeast without first informing Oga. After seven straight hours, Madam arrived at the husbands house. Before opening the huge gate to allow the car drive in, the smart gateman ran in to alert Oga about Madam’s presence. Quickly, Oga discharged the side chick through the back entrance, even though her personal belongings littered the house. When Madam came in, she took notice of the female underwears hung in the bathroom and asked her husband about them. He claimed they belonged to him. She saw other evidences that proved a woman had been in house just before her arrival. Trouble started almost immediately. All the night, their communication was filled with strong questions and answers. The next morning, she ran to her in-laws and reported the husband’s infidelity and other bad acts. The family gathered to deliberate on the matter and declare a verdict. When the most senior kinsman spoke, he called Madam’s name three times and asked if she had informed her husband before on the trip to visit him at his new place of work. Her response was in the negative. The family head ruled that she would pay a fine of one he-goat for that attitude. Then he added: “How could you embark on such interstate, long distance journey without your husband’s knowledge and approval? What if you were involved in an accident?” The family, therefore, condemned her attitude and charged her to be of good conduct; at least that judgment would serve as deterrent to others. Mercy who thought she would attract the sympathy of the family over the infidelity of her husband ended up as the culprit. What then was the reason for the case going against her? Another kinsman gave this explanation: “If you had informed your husband of your visit, he would have put his house in order.” What a sacrilegious judgment from the Council of Corrupt Elders! It becomes very evident that there must always be lies from men to cover-up the illicit relationships of fellow men.
What about Batholomew, an engineer, who picked his neighbour’s daughter and her friend who he has been seeing in the last three months, and they were driving to an unknown destination. Traffic was much and he decided to take inner routes and suddenly his wife ran into them without a proper glimpse of the people in her husband’s car and that was very unusual. She drove behind them and tried to get her husband’s attention, but could not. She dialed his phone and it rang out without any response until the traffic gave way a little. Bartholomew who was aware that wife had seen him, zoomed off. At home, he essentially told the wife that the girls were IT students, who his boss asked him to drop off at a convenient bus stop. Madam was boxed into a corner because she knew her husband’s boss.
Muhammad decided to shack up for the night with his girlfriend, a youth corps member. He arranged for his friend in the office, Fred, to deceive his wife. As the night drew close, instead of going home, he called his wife that his Blood Pressure (BP) had suddenly shot up and the doctor asked him to take bed rest in a nearby clinic. He assured his wife that he was in good hands and that his best friend would be in the hospital with him till day break. Mrs. Muhammed panicked, but was consoled by Fred as her husband pretended to talk to her from time to time. At about 1:00 a.m, he spoke well and told his wife that he was much better just that it was risky to be on the road during the wee hours. The wife asked him to stay and be safe. So, merrily had a good time all night as the lies effectively deceived his wife.
Still in this dirty business of lying to wives, to sample various soups cooked in outside kitchens. In this category is Peter who would lock his shop at 6:00 p.m but will never get home until past 12:00 midnight or thereabout. His wife would call and he would respond that he was closeby. From about 8:00p.m till midnight he would be close-by until the bubble burst and the truth came out he had been sneaking into the home of a woman who had newly been separate from her former husband and lived just two streets away from theirs.
Dear men, side chicks are only expenditures that could be turned into a worthwhile project to benefit the family.