“Asking a patient how she rates her relationship with her husband, rather than simply asking whether she has one, should be a priority”

Bisi Daniels

The issue of getting relationships right is a wide field for scientific research, and researchers have kept busy at it. From time to time, we share recent findings. Those here were sourced from PsyBlog. Yes, the rate of recovery from domestic arguments and forgiveness are healthy signs.

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According to a study, couples who recover quickly from an argument are more likely to stay together, research finds.

And also that being able to recover quickly from an argument goes back to childhood.

People who were more ‘securely attached’ to their parents as children are better at regulating their emotions in adulthood, the study found.

Children who are securely attached to their parents or caregiver feel protected and trust them.

The same is true in adult relationships: people who feel protected and trust each other can better regulate their emotions at trying times, like when arguing.

Dr Jessica E. Salvatore, the study’s first author, said:

“We found that people who were insecurely attached as infants but whose adult romantic partners recover well from conflict are likely to stay together.

The results come from a study of 73 people who were tracked from birth.

Each person was induced to have a heated discussion with their partner and then they were given a cool-down period.

Dr Salvatore explained:

“As part of another project where we looked at how couples fight, I would often catch a few minutes of this cool-down period.”

Dr Salvatore noticed that some couples were able to move from a heated discussion right back to pleasant chatting without too much effort.

Other couples, though, got stuck on their conflict and couldn’t cool down.

When they looked back at people’s childhood assessments, they spotted that securely attached people were better at regulating their emotions in their relationship as well.

The researchers also discovered that only one person in the couple needs to be a calming influence.

Dr Salvatore said:

“That, to us, was the most exciting finding.

There’s something about the important people later in our lives that changes the consequences of what happened earlier.”

Two Relationship Patterns That Double Depression Risk

People with the lowest quality relationships are at double the risk of depression, research finds.

Two problem relationship patterns are having an unsupportive partner and having a partner under social strain.

Social strain includes things like working hard to achieve a certain lifestyle (house, car, holiday etc.).

Those have had unsupportive and strained spouses are at higher risk of depression than those who were single.

In fact, the quality of all relationships — including family and friends — influences depression risk.

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Dr Alan Teo, the study’s first author, said:

“Our study shows that the quality of social relationships is a significant risk factor for major depression.

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This is the first time that a study has identified this link in the general population.”

The conclusions come from 4,643 people who were followed over 10 years.

All were asked about the quality of their relationships, the strain on them and the support they received, plus any depression symptoms.

The results showed that experiencing a lack of support and having a partner under social strain were both linked to depression.

One in seven people with the worst relationships went on to develop depression.

Among those with the best relationships, only one in 15 developed depression.

Dr Teo said:

“These results tell us that health care providers need to remember that patients’ relationships with their loved ones likely play a central role in their medical care.

“They also suggest that the broader use of couples therapy might be considered, both as a treatment for depression and as a preventative measure.

“Asking a patient how she rates her relationship with her husband, rather than simply asking whether she has one, should be a priority”

Isolation, however, was not linked to depression — it is all about the quality of the relationships.

Dr Teo said:

“The magnitude of these results is similar to the well-established relationship between biological risk factors and cardiovascular disease.

What that means is that if we can teach people how to improve the quality of their relationships, we may be able to prevent or reduce the devastating effects of clinical depression.”

How to spot a cheating partner in a relationship

People who earn less than their partner are more likely to cheat on them than those earning equal amounts, a study concludes.

Men may be more tempted to cheat in this situation because they feel threatened by their partner’s income.

However, men earning much more than their female partner are also more likely to cheat than those earning equal amounts.

Similarly, women were more likely to cheat when dependent on their partner — although not if they earned more.

Explaining the findings, Dr Christin Munsch, the study’s author, said:

“At one end of the spectrum, making less money than a female partner may threaten men’s gender identity by calling into question the traditional notion of men as breadwinners.

At the other end of the spectrum, men who make a lot more money than their partners may be in jobs that offer more opportunities for cheating like long work hours, travel, and higher incomes that make cheating easier to conceal.”

The conclusions come from a study of 18 to 28-year-old married and cohabiting couples.

All had been married for at least one year.

The results showed that men whose income is either significantly higher or lower than than their female partner are more likely to cheat on them.

Men who were most faithful generally had partners who earned around 75% of their own income. In the six month period of the study, 3.8% of men reported cheating on their partner, while 1.4% of women reported cheating.

Women who earned more than their partners, though, were actually less likely to cheat on them.

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