Snippets of Nigeria’s crazy party primaries

Fela Anikulapo Kuti must be turning in his grave by now. In one of his popular songs, the legendary musician described our system of government as democrazy. Now, not only is the craze getting crazier, we have bluntly refused to mend the broken pieces of our deranged system.

Last week was particularly eventful. Iyom Bianca Ojukwu and Mr. Akinwunmi Ambode may have finished counting their political losses and will now be wondering what actually hit them.

The headlines said it all: “Bianca Ojukwu flees as gunmen invade Anambra senatorial primary,” “Lagos primary: APC NWC makes U-turn, declares Sanwo-Olu governorship candidate,” “Buhari’s aide bites governorship aspirant in a dirty fight,” and so on.

I can imagine how Mrs. Ojukwu, Nigeria’s former ambassador to Spain and Ikemba Nnewi’s widow, ran with her high heels. I can also imagine how the oil magnate, Ifeanyi Uba, positioned his mouth to laugh. The All Progressives Grand Alliance (APGA) had disqualified Uba from contesting the Anambra South senatorial primary. The party said he did not obtain a waiver, having recently crossed over to APGA from the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP).

READ ALSO: Bianca Odumegwu Ojukwu: Which way APGA? (1)

Ironically, Uba strenuously campaigned for APGA’s Willie Obiano during the last governorship election in Anambra. His campaign slogan then was “afa Igbo ama efu,” meaning “Igbo name will not disappear.” Now that he needed APGA to pay him back, his own name disappeared.

In the same token, the name of Governor Ambode of Lagos State disappeared from the register of the All Progressives Congress (APC) governorship candidates. The governor would never have imagined that he would never get the second term governorship ticket of the APC. He probably underestimated the power of his godfather, Bola Tinubu. He kept on fixing major roads and bridges but failed to fix the pockets of some party stalwarts. Tinubu himself alluded to that when he reportedly said Ambode was a good governor but not a good party man.

The man I pity most in these Lagos shenanigans is Clement Ebri, the former governor of Cross River State. He was the head of the APC’s National Working Committee (NWC) that was supposed to supervise the Lagos governorship primary.

Last Tuesday, he and his team were actually in Lagos to do their duty. He told the whole world that the election could not hold because the modalities were not followed as scheduled. He said a new date would be announced later.

The state chapter of the party thought otherwise. They said there was an election and that Babajide Sanwo-Olu was the winner. Hardly had Ebri got back to Abuja when the story changed. With the same mouth he uses to eat yam and cocoyam, Ebri announced that indeed there was an election and that Sanwo-Olu won. Shame has no other better name than this.

Ambode did not need any soothsayer to tell him that the game was up. His deputy and some commissioners had abandoned him. The social media erupted with a cartoon of Ambode captioned, “eat alone; die alone.” He conceded defeat and congratulated Sanwo-Olu. If he had tried to be combative, the House of Assembly would have impeached him. And, surely, goodness and mercy shall fail to follow him all the remaining days of his political life.