Should the ‘other room’ have rules for the game of love? The emerging picture is that there should reasonably be no such rules, as long as the game is clean and decent. There should be no barrier between both spouses when they are in the ‘other room.’ Anything and every possible thing should happen in the other room between two responsible consenting adults. It should be a free trade zone. In fact, a free grabbing centre. For this romantic friendly match, there should be no referee, flashing of a yellow card. The only red card should be against introduction of bestiality.
It is a place meant for two hearts that beat as one. In fact, so many people do not understand how sacred, serene, cozy, private and respectable the other room should be. It is a place reserved for the mature minds. Little wonder wives cordon off their bedrooms from other occupants of the house because of its unique importance. Bursting into some bedrooms in a home can get one seriously sanctioned. A sister told of how knocking on her uncle’s bedroom almost sent her packing. “It was my national service year in Lagos, and I found comfort in the home of my uncle. After Sunday lunch, they retired to their room. Not long after a visitor came, and I knocked on their door to inform them. There was no response; I intensified the knock, yet no response. I picked up a short wood and hit the door with all my strength. After about 20 minutes, my uncle appeared in a rage and yelled at me. The message did not sink into me then until now that I am married; in retrospect I understood that my extensive knocking had disrupted what was happening in the ‘other room’ at that moment.”
Society is witnessing new hues in the colouration of activities in the other room. In the face of the wave of change, fundamentalists, conformists and traditionalists in marital intimacy are about to be swept away. It is a brand new day! No longer can they restrict intimacy to a timetable. Having embraced the Internet, social media, air travel, eating out and visits to the malls and the cinema, they should also accept ‘emergency romance’ in the other room. That is a sure way of spicing up marriage.
Incidentally, this ‘accident’ is not happening outside the vicinity or in a strange land, but in a comfort zone that belongs to the husband and wife. Every opportunity might not be for the oil-rig, but that close warmth circuit, that tight unending hug that emanated from slangs like ‘Old fire no de quench’ and romantic expressions from the man that convey these words, ‘You are the only one.’ All these should be experienced as often as possible. It is a journey for just two, with no third party required.
I give it to the church that organised a programme entitled: “Let’s talk about sex.” From what I gathered the programme was very well received as it healed several marital relationships that were wobbling in the other room. It is commendable that a pastor sensitive to the needs of his congregants initiated the programme.
The large turn out of members at the programme, particularly by the men was sure proof that he had put his finger on the right button. And the couples were thoroughly educated by sex therapists, of course, from the perspective of the Bible. One of the speakers told the women: “There is no limit to what should happen in your bedroom. Don’t even wait for your husband to initiate sex, take the bull by the horn and possess your personal possession; do not limit yourself, go on exploration as long as you like and want. Not even sickness should limit you. It is your right. Stand up and be ahead of your game. Go home tonight and light a candle in your other room.” The hall was seriously charged with both men and women laughing out loud, beaming with smiles and dancing happily. It was evident that the pastor’s step had healed his congregants physically, socially and mentally without knowing it.
In like manner, a close pal who was not at that church programme shared her experience. She said: “We had this heated argument about my husband’s younger sister who I felt was crossing her boundaries. I was fed up living with her and want her to leave our house. I took advantage of the other room to iron it out with my husband, but in the midst of that argument I sternly warned him about the consequences. But my husband was busy pressing my mumu buttons intermittently, to my amazement. While still raging with anger, I did not realize his motives until I noticed that all of his exploration tools were primed and ready. I understand the tone of the game in the other room because I am his wife. I quickly had a mood swing and joined in the beautiful game. We had a jolly ride and it was a wonderful experience. Afterwards, I asked my husband what came over him, even in my anger?” He replied, “I have no limit, neither do I have control of whatever happens when I am in the other room.”
In the opinion of some male colleagues, romance is more interesting when it comes as a surprise and as a ‘hide-and-seek’ game. One said: “By the time a partner starts begging for it, the spontaneity and flavour would have gone.” The strategy and experience for people is not the same and should not be measured in any way. What goes for Tunde is different from what goes for Emeka or Okon because of personality differences.
Now, it is not for nothing to hear men say things like, “I want my wife to be a prim and proper lady in the sitting room and a ‘prostitute’ in our bedroom.” This may sound a bit crazy, but that is what intoxicates and appeals to him privately. Have we also wondered why some newlyweds go into long honeymoon, and decide to live alone with no relatives or domestic help. Some even delay pregnancy for a reasonable period of time. Most times, the reason is the extra-curriculum activities that happen in the other room which have no limit and should not be interrupted.
Anyway, the other room is not all about oil exploration, but where other issues are settled. When the storms of life hit someone like a rock, the settlement place will be the other room. In the other room, bad feelings, quarrels, arguments are settled and narratives are changed. The man and the woman should fully utilise the benefits of their bedroom. It is not a place to strangle, kill or maim each other rather anything and everything worthy should take place in the other room. Most importantly, the other room is an agreement place to seek for spiritual cleansing, seek the face of God who has the solution to all life’s challenges.
So, spice up your marriage in the other room. Make the experience linger all through the day.