It’s another Easter morning after the holy weeks. Christmas was four months ago, how time flies. As we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ today, let’s ask ourselves, husbands and wives, are we still bound in love as it should be? How do we want to embrace, celebrate and reflect the meaning of the redemptive work of the risen Jesus?
Well, we all know that ‘To Whom It May Concern’ is an accepted document which stands in place of the real certificates of graduates when not handy. The purpose of this important document is to stand in place of the credential which is not available and be accepted wherever it is presented.
By the same token, some marriages and relationships may have lost their certificates. The certificates refer to the love, feelings, oil of freshness, sweet fragrances, acceptability, romantic values, togetherness, soft, kind words from loving hearts and many more. So, since the real certificate might no longer be seen or felt on the relationship radar, it will be wise then for many to operate and serve on the platform of ‘To Whom it May Concern’. It would amount to manifestation of wisdom to maintain a form of connection, even when a relationship has hit a major bump, while the spouses try to rebuild their love affair and make a great come back.
This is necessary to usher in the resurrection morning and afterwards. What do I mean by this phrase? I am referring to the quiet acceptability that second chance and repentance that lovers enjoy when they accept each other again after a long drawn battle.That new discovery reopens new opportunities, hope and thrust again.
For the Easter period, those who refused to give and accept a second chance might not be standing right in their decisions. What will be the gain of non-acceptability of peace, love and joy? Let us not forget that receivers of the document in various offices guard it jealously, do not throw it away or reject it because the original certificate is expected to replace the intermediary sooner or later. In the same manner, spouses given a second opportunity hold on to it with trust, love and care while waiting for the new morning to spring up when the hurting hearts are healed.
The document which represents the original credential is like a symbol of the revived and renewed relationship of couples. It has been known that spouses given a second chance, often make a great come back, with the relationship fully blossoming again. The nights of such revival is better imagined than said. It can be very exciting and intoxicating like new wine. Such a night is one to be treasured. The spouses go on a fantastic romantic, sexual experience that is rapturous. Love becomes very sweet, kind words break the surface and marriage vows are renewed with smooches.
In a very real sense, the genuine fruit of the second opportunity is akin to the fruits of the spirit, which the Bible talks about in Galatians: love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, faith, meekness and temperance, if we accept the reason for the Easter season.
Appreciatively, the mood of the acceptance draws near the unexpected cancelled trips to surface again, a wake-up call knocks on the doors of denied social outings packaged for just two.It becomes great to fall in love again. The partners would have realised what they missed during their trial moments. It also becomes a time for soul searching, personal reflection and repentance for both. Genuine and sincere hidden gossips emanate from the spouses. In the renewed enjoyment of their marital privacy, they recall in soft tones what people said about them at various points. The result is the deepening and strengthening of the bonds of the reunion, which can be likened to a born-again marriage.
Regrettably, some of the identified issues between lovers are usurping a prime position in the heart of the paramours. One tightly held subject leads to another and it spreads and becomes deeply rooted in the spirit, soul and body of a religious lover up till this Easter morning. No please! These issues people find difficult to delete from their minds might be things that are not worth the trouble, yet one is ensnared, refusing to let go of trivial matters. If the direct devotees forgive themselves and accept the sincere use of ‘To Whom It May Concern’ approach, things will fall into place peacefully without the relationship cracking again.
In the spirit of the resurrection morning, let each offending partner embrace the new spirit and sheath the sword. It is not time to begin to dwell in regret, making comparisons, letting envy, bitterness, jealousy and other evil thoughts take root. It is important to recognise that people who are enjoying their relationships worked out their salvation. When aspersions like ‘If I had known what I know now, probably I would have gone for Mr. A’ or Miss ‘B’. Both men and women are guilty of this statement. It is not an undeniable fact that many couples are running their homes and lives without unity and accepting each other. The acceptance should in totality be seen as the marriage vow states: “to hold and to belong, in good and bad times until death do us part.” Unfortunately, the mindset of many couples is far from this ideal.
Acceptance is not only when an offending partner apologises to the other, rather the responsibility lies on the offender to accept his or her fault and render a sincere apology, desist from attitudes that tear down the walls of their relationship. An adage says, one cannot be pretending to be doing the best while people around him die gradually.
Interestingly, an accepted husband or wife feels the sensation. Both know and understand the language of acceptance and what it means to be there for each other. Both could proudly tell a stranger to go home and be entertained because worthy hubby or wife is at home.
In homes where acceptance is far, one discovers the key players live a parallel life under the same roof. They become flatmates and roommates who do not communicate with each other. In such instances, their children become their communication tool. Some situations have gotten so bad that couples whose children have grown up and left home, communicate through letters and SMS while living under the same roof. This situation cannot see the couple age gracefully. Long drawn battles do not reflect the fruit of the Holy Spirit, because such situation destroys the ambience of the home and encourages adultery, whether on the part of the man or woman. It gives room for undue interference in the home.
I recall a certain incident, where a teacher regretted asking his pupils to tell the class their various prayer points at home before they came to school. The first boy said he told God to bless his daddy and mummy with a big car. Others said one positive thing or another, until it got to the turn of one boy who innocently said: “I told God to stop my parents from fighting with each other and restore love between them again. I do not like this situation.” The teacher was surprised at his courage and stopped the candid talk session in class, to avoid further embarrassment. Some pupils heard this while some others did not. It is instructive for quarrelling couples to recognise that children are smart enough to pick up all these things before we know them. They are equally smart to notice the existence of genuine love and acceptance between their parents.
This Easter, let us take the courage to accept each other in sincere and genuine repentance. The spouse that offended the other should truly repent and be of good conduct. Forgiveness and acceptance are not one-way traffic, but should rather be influenced by both. Accept yourselves because of the risen Jesus, who has invited us to come to Him, and He has promised to give us rest. Happy Easter!