How on earth would parents, especially mothers, feel comfortable to cover up the sins of their children? It has never been a standard practice and will never be celebrated. Most parents cover up out of ignorance, while some do so out of pretence and lies. Really, no parent who wants to build a formidable home and raise good children would feel proud to cover up an erring child.
From whatever perspective we look at it, covering up bad behaviour has never won any gold medal. What comes to whoever covers up for a child that behaved badly is embarrassment and humiliation. And, of course, the shame spreads like oil poured on water. In very bad cases, the story goes into the history of the family and could be passed from generation to generation.
A family that raised an armed robber would forever carry an indelible mark of shame. This is the major danger of parents covering up the sins of their children.
Robbers who are paraded on television, rapists, cultists, ritualists, homosexuals and lesbians, and culprits of all forms of fraudulent activities are mostly the fruits of covered lifestyles of very young vibrant teenagers, who could have channelled such energies into more worthy causes. In most cases, they fall within the age bracket 17-to-27.
A number of times, when I brought up the issue, some parents and guardians would quickly snatch it from my mouth and make excuses such as: “I do not know” “We have spoken to him/her” “We have taken him/her to our pastor for prayers, the church is on fasting about it” “Today’s children are all the same; they are Internet and noodles children.”
I have countered that if they monitor their teenagers closely, listen attentively to their new language, watch their gentility closely, think about the times spent when sent on an errand, the parents or guardians should be able to notice any strange behaviour that had never seen previously. But when the parent continues to give excuses, such parent is gradually destroying that child and both the family and society would pay the price, when the bad behaviour becomes full blown.
When some young undergraduates began to say, “You dey fly my colour” people who were knowledgeable understood that the youngsters were speaking in cult language, but some ignorant parents rather missed the sign or pretended that it did not matter. Parents of such children, who considered themselves accomplished personalities would one day see themselves stripped naked as it were when their bad behaved children become a major embarrassment.
Who in Nigeria would easily forget the death of Ochanya Ogbanje, the 13-year-old girl who allegedly faced serial sexual abuse in the hand of a father and son in Benue State. Her aunt covered up her husband and son. Ever since the bubble burst, the aunt has been covered with the garment of shame.
There are still so many parents and guardians who are covering up various shameful practices of their children. What do you say of parents who are accomplices to their young daughter’s mini-prostitution? In our contemporary times, young people dress inappropriately, use vulgar language, go out at will and comeback with gifts, and some parents do not find it strange enough to ask questions and get straight answers from them.
A younger child talks rudely to the older sibling and a mother would make light of it. She has thereby covered up for the rude behaviour. Is such a mother raising a child that would be well behaved and respect elders and constituted authority? Please mothers, you must stop covering up erring children. Deal with any wrong sign immediately.
Going down memory lane, it quickly comes to mind when a very young boy in a certain village joined a mini-robbery gang before he graduated into a full time armed robber. Words got to his parents at the stage of naivety; his father wept profusely like a baby because of the shame his son was about to bring while his mother sang another song, ‘Is he the only one? His mother’s question ‘is he the only one’ emboldened the young lad. He continued to reign in his trade until he went for an operation and was shot dead by his opponent. If the mother had not covered up, but nipped the bad behaviour in the bud, most likely, the boy would have grown up into a good son. When the news of his death filtered into the village, his mother could not bear the shame when some few bold women came to remind her of her silly response about her son. Another mother whose son was fond of taking money from her purse without her permission didn’t see it as something wrong and therefore did not caution him. Rather she would ask, “Is he taking from you? He is taking my own.” The son continued the bad practice until he graduated and today he is a wreck. A more chilling account was when a woman was shocked to hear that her son who she always claimed was reading in his room started taking drugs in JSS2 class and no one caught him. If the mother had a practice of looking in on the son, she would have discovered the drug problem early, and avoided the embarrassment of her son being caught by security operatives in his school, who laid ambush for student drug addicts. He was warned and made to sign undertaking to be of good conduct. He broke the undertaking and when he was caught on the third time, his parents were invited and the mother swore her son could never have been involved in any drug related offences until the school authority asked him to tell his parents what he told the committee the last time he was caught.
“Daddy and Mummy, kindly forgive me, I am sorry I have been taking drugs since I was in JSS2 in secondary school.” His mother fainted and was rushed to the health centre.
Parents who are fond of praising their erring children, knowing full well that they are telling lies are part of the problem of that child. A child that is lazy in school and would not attend classes would be pushed to write examination he did not prepare for. How will such a child pass? Yet his mother would claim that the teachers hated him. Instead, the child was sent abroad where he continued in his behaviour and became a bigger nuisance.
You have cases where children would sneak out and sleep outside and the mothers would claim they were with their friends. Covering up mothers!
Who will castigate a man who ran to the authorities of a university to rescue him from his erring son? The boy got to university and got carried away by the penchant of the university environment. He made friends with fellow students who owned cars on campus. He began to threaten his parents to buy him a car or he would not write his degree examinations. The threat got to a crescendo when the father ran to school and met with the Head of Department and sought for help. The lecturer informed security details while he sent for the boy. He got to HOD’s office and saw his father weeping; that alone got him disciplined and thought him a lesson. The major disgrace came when the lecturer brought him to class and told his fellow students how he was threatening his parents because of a car. He covered his face in shame and other students made jest of him.
When evil is being covered up, life is being threatened unconsciously. A big hole is being dug and an accident is waiting to happen. Expose the devil and it will flee.
The Yahoo-Plus business boys who are making waves today started from somewhere. Nowadays, they are stealing female underwear for ritual purposes. Recently there was a report in the news that criminals waylaid a 36-seater bus filled with women going to the market early in the morning in a certain state. All the female passengers were forced to remove and hand over their pants, which the criminals took away. Can you imagine 30 women in a vehicle without their underwear?
Children represent one of the great gifts that God has given to mankind. They grow from generation to generation and build the society. As the Bible says, “children are the heritage of the Lord.” Let us not destroy them by covering up various forms of bad character we observed in them. Dear Nigerian parents stop covering up the bad attitude of children. Do the best you can and leave the rest to God.