Life is an ultra-weird inanimate mass of scary twists and funny turns remote-controlled by a monstrously-creative higher force. Life’s Maker and Giver must be the great-great-grand-grandfather of literature. Imagine the seamless plots, the deafening suspense, and the untold wizardry that combine to weave life so intricately into such delectable art. Forget its untold unpredictability, life on a fine day is one hell of a player: hedonistic, comic and, in case hedonistic didn’t quite convey it, sweet!
There’s nothing hedonistic, comic or sweet though in a daughter beating her own dad. No child should give any adult this much sound beating. Young people must learn to fear God, and to respect age and history and posterity. God too should look at some of these matters with the eyes of a big man; in order to never rob Peter to pay Paul nor love one and hate the other.
The girl in this narration stopped respecting her dad the moment she turned 16. Perhaps, it happened much earlier but that’s when her father-beating mannerism was noticed by her parents, family and the world. The abominable chain of events started like child’s play, grew into a joke before exploding into the glorious shame that it now is. For crying out loud, what would posterity say about this girl?
Enough of speaking or rather of writing in tongues, Michael; come clean and let’s hear it. What exactly did this daughter do to be judged this extra-horribly? And this being a case between father and daughter, what guarantees are there that this male narrator has not allowed the politics of gender to corrupt his sense of fairness? Just which type of beating did the girl give her dad, and what degree of injury did she inflict?
Rather than swear to this or that to discharge the foregoing battery of questions, here’s the story as shared by the family. Before then, let it be known that this snake beating allegory is just that -nothing more. While dad dreamt a dream, daughter lived the dream. Whereas dad only wanted it, daughter simply went for it!
Always, dad dreamt El Dorado but daughter wasted no time on dreaming; she created El Dorado and lived there. For instance, after leaving college at 18, dad planned to be a mass communication graduate latest 22. Alas, he only gained admission at that age and for a non-masscom course. Not so when daughter’s time came; she gingerly left college at 16, left university well ahead of her 21st and yes –masscom!
She was more stylishly brutal in round two: she gave him a devastating technical knockout. See, dad always wanted to study abroad; nothing for him. He looked to make first class: no show. His two-one, a family first, seemed a good consolation until daughter came along, or went along not only to study abroad on full scholarship but also to come away with an immaculate first class. Oh, my; what a rush!
This is the story of a doing-daughter beating her dreaming-dad. And, the beat(ing) goes on. Nearly two decades after his first degree, dad is still waiting for everything to be equal for him to pursue a Master’s. Daughter never once voiced the wish but today, two small months after her classy first degree, she set off to acquire the secondary degree -complete with her trademark full scholarship!
Which child does that to own dad? No, please, give her some credit: the five-star daughter who sees no glass ceiling. So, what would you call or do with a daughter like this? Me, I would change the caption of this narration to the daughter who beat her dad: a testimony!
That’s what this is, really. The major human characters in this pulsating play scripted and directed by nature are Miss Winnie Adiahachi BUSH, Mrs. Nneka Irene BUSH, Dr. Letitia Uduma, a certain Michael BUSH and a host of others. As Adiaha turns 21 today, we all wish her a smashing 2018th birthday plus a thankyou for beating my records and mum’s; making all of us so proud in the process.
God bless Nigeria!
June 12: Is there one Nigerian left who still doesn’t fear God?
After two and a half decades of playing hide-and-seek and endless ego-tripping, the Nigerian government finally looked in the mirror and shocked by what it saw came to its senses. Not even the staunchest believers of the 1993 lost opportunity saw this federal government volte face coming. Yet, it is true: in our lifetime, Abuja has at long, long last begun the mummification of June 12!
Considering that the man who has ordered this unforced June 12 embalmment belonged directly or indirectly in the cabal that brought this eternal national shame upon us, we cannot but gloat over this sweet comeuppance. That indeed is what makes the whole thing this hyper-exciting; a Muhammadu Buhari, a Northerner and Fulani who played pole position before and after the annulment, has been deployed by nature to undo the mess. Those who blame Doctors Obasanjo and Jonathan, the two southerners elected to run Nigeria post-June 12, for not honouring MKO Abiola and company, don’t seem to understand how these things work.
His intentions notwithstanding, the president should get commendation, not condemnation, having allowed God to use him. Nigeria is back to the path of seeking first the kingdom of justice and its righteousness. With June 12 addressed and our perennial oppressors suddenly turning against themselves in fear and anguish, it’s clear that our God is working on something special for 2019: yes, the injustice that hindered our country and people shall crumble!
