It is with great relief that the television (un)reality show, Big Brother Naija, #BBN, has come to an end after 70 agonising days. It was 70 days of depravity gone overboard. It was a period the devil was given reins over our country, Africa, and possibly the world, when budding youths were quarantined in a house of sin and manipulated to dance to surreal and macabre music orchestrated by merchants of immorality, smiling to the bank.

It was a time when Nigeria was hypnotised to sacrifice decency to the gods of mammon. Even at that, the spell cast upon the nation was so strong we ended up enriching South Africa and gaining nothing but the few coins given to the winner of the show, Efe, and his two compatriots.

How do I mean? I will tell you. Nigeria surrendered the hosting of the show to South Africa despite her citizens, and, in fact, the nation itself being the focus. They sold Nigeria the dummy that power challenges would not allow the hosting of the show in Nigeria and, so, shipped our youth to that South African madhouse. All the technicians were South Africans and Nigerians lost opportunity to make a few bucks for themselves from a project they should have been first beneficiaries. It was a big rip-off! South Africans made heavy financial gains. Over 24 million people voted on the last day alone and if that is translated to cash, and input all the votes of the previous days preceding the final, you can see how dumb the minders of our economy are to have given South Africa that much room to manipulate them out of much revenue.

It is annoying that South African firms would play big in this country, earn billions and corrupt our youths, with our leaders moping and yet that country for which Nigeria sacrificed everything has nothing but disrespect and hatred for our citizens in their own country that are daily hacked down in hideous xenophobic circumstances.

Nigeria lost, and woefully and too. Our children are being put through so many inanities in order to make few naira to take care of themselves and families since our government has failed in its basic responsibilities. That is why parents allow or encourage their daughters to put their southern breasts on display before a gawking perishing world. That is also why parents allow or encourage their sons to grope and fondle their female compatriots in the show of shame. That is why a woman would allow or encourage her husband to go cavorting with other women if only he wins and brings home cursed money to the marital bed.

Methinks there are many ways to promote our youths other down grooming them for hell. The so-called entertainment we claim to derive from such immoral projects will surely turn to gravel in our mouths sooner than later if we don’t say no to the importation of foreign culture to our land. We must reject whatever business proposal that debases our sons and daughters and the very basic moral cultural strings that make us who we are. And that begins now! The Nigerian government should stir from its somnambulist hypnosis so that our youth are not easily deceived by puerile varnishing gold and glamour.

 And let me state clearly that my head is already adorned by helmet and primed to receive the cudgels from hedonists, who would see me as a puritan buried in the past. We must save our children from corruptive influences and if the world comprised, there remained yet a remnant of God’s Generals, who would stand on hallowed grounds to resist the evils of our time despite the risks. I am proud to be counted among that number.

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Who owns House #16?

Nigerians are no longer proud of high brow Ikoyi, or so it seems since the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, bust the cache of ‘looted’ cash at 16, Osborne Road, Ikoyi Lagos. Ordinarily, the rich and mighty flaunt Ikoyi in the face of commoners but now; nobody wants to be associated with the apartment where the money was found. Strangely too, the EFCC does not seem to know the road to the land registry to identify the owner of the building, who would identify the occupier of the apartment. Even the whistle-blower does not know the owner of the house? Honestly too, I don’t know what to make of the controversy involving NIA and Rivers State over who owns the cash. If NIA really staked claim to the booty, nobody can say when it got its own bank operating licence. Surely, all we know is that this money belongs to everybody and to nobody but I really wish the house could belong to me. At least, I would be leaving my seedy environment to join the oppressive Ikoyi mob.

Whistle-blowing, new passion

I used to think referees are great since they wield great power and determine the outcome of the great leather game, with a mere blast of their shrill whistle. They fling their cards and shove it in the face of whichever player that catches their fancy and are sometimes beaten up for it. But in Nigeria today, there has arisen a far nobler and richer whistle-blowing enterprise without running more than players in all of the 90 minutes a football game lasts. This whistle-blowing in Nigeria only requires eagle eyes and meddlesome ears. And, you just blow your whistle on your discovery, just once, to the EFCC, and make enough bucks sans the risk of being beaten up by intemperate footballers and their fans.

Indeed, the Federal Government’s whistle-blower policy is paying off. However Nigerians feel about the Muhammadu Buhari administration, its dogged fight against corruption is laudable. No government has opened our eyes to the scandalous looting of our commonwealth as Buhari’s. Some of the mind-boggling discoveries of late include Andrew Yakubu’s $9.8 million in a nondescript village bungalow; the N49 million abandoned at Kaduna airport N448 million in a Lagos shop; N250 million at Balogun Market and the latest N13 billion recovered at a luxury apartment on Osborne Road, Ikoyi, Lagos. These are mere droplets of the massive loot of the commonwealth by accursed Nigerians. Of course, corruption is still pervasive in the land but nemesis will still catch up with them all, including those flaunting fake certificates.

Anyway, I am in dire need of a whistle; not the type referees wield, mind you. I am in need of the real whistle with sharp, shrill sound that Ibrahim Magu will hear from Maiduguri or Abuja. I am also in need of a trainer because this is not a whistle you just put in your mouth and blow anyhow. You must be sure you blow to the right ear such that you will be able to collect your cut and live happily ever after, otherwise…In fact, my wife has warned me against my whistle-blowing passion. But I trust the government would ensure that the constricting corruption does not steal the whistle from the mouth of its blowers.