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Home Columns

The pains of living with a destructive woman

16th June 2018
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They had a disagreement. It ended with his wife locking the door and hiding the key. She grabbed his shirt as well and stood in his way screaming ‘you must kill me today.’

All his pleas to get her firm grip off his shirt fell on deaf ears. When he couldn’t take it any longer, he slapped her, and she slapped him right back.

He beat her up mercilessly and in pains, she voluntarily surrendered the house keys to him. He dressed up and drove out of the house, while she was still threatening thunder and brimstone from a distance.

Completely consumed by rage, she brought out his clothes and shoes to the open and set them all on fire. She stood to supervise it all burn down and also to make sure nobody took a pin out of the fire.

She got back into the house and broke the televisions, glass tables, mirrors, home theatre, laundry machine, refrigerator, blender, mixer, micro wave and anything that cost money.

Having destroyed these things, she wasn’t still satisfied. She drove to his supermarket at about 10pm, unlocked the store and set it ablaze. Unfortunately the building wasn’t decked and it also has more than 10 other stores at a stretch.

The fire she set in her husband’s store escalated and the other shops went in flames as well. All efforts by few people around there to put out the fire didn’t work. In no time, the whole building was razed down.

This is what a woman did to get back at her husband. Unfortunately in her bid to get at him, she also destroyed everything on her path. What foolishness!

Your aim is to hurt your husband as much as he did to you and also make him spend money replacing the things you destroyed at home, but the truth is that you are plain stupid.

A destructive woman is not far from a mad man. In her moment of rage, she can pull the trigger if she finds one. She can use a knife if she lays her hand on one and it’s not in self defense but to prove a point and also inflict pain on her partner.

It is only a senseless woman who stands in her man’s way, locks his shirt and tells him he must kill her. She may likely get that death she’s looking for because the man will soon run out of patience and pummel her without thinking about the consequences.

If trash talking his parents or siblings is the only way to get at him, if you must do it, then do it standing 500 meters away, not when you are standing right beside him or in his face locking his shirt.

Yes, it is only a weak man who lay hands on a woman but it’s also a foolish woman without common sense who provokes her man to that extent.

It is normal to be angry when provoked, to feel emotions a little more strongly than other people feel, but it is abnormal to let your emotion over ride your sense of reasoning.

Such destructive behavior may provide relief or even pleasure in just a few minutes or hours but it will ultimately get in the way of living a life that feels satisfying and fulfilling.

Women should know that men are more scared and worried when you are silent and unpredictable. Their spirit stays woke when you don’t let your emotions take over your life.

Women, put that anger in check. Don’t lock his shirt or door and dare him or tell him he’s not man enough. You are sabotaging your own life and relationship if you are still interested in keeping that marriage.

Destructive anger turns the table against you and also leaves you in shame. Displaying destructive behaviors can cause you harm. You should learn adaptive ways to handle your negative emotions.

If your woman takes out her anger and frustrations on your properties, do not let her go unpunished, report her to the law enforcement agencies. Get her to sign an undertaking at least, and if she still wants to remain in that marriage and in your house.

You should also make sure that you do not replace those things she destroyed with your own money. She either replaces them or stays without them to serve as a deterrent. Insist that she replaces all those things with the receipts in your own name to avoid future surprises. You should never reward bad behavior.

Ladies, stop pushing your men to the edge leaving them with the option of hitting you and screaming domestic violence afterwards when they deal you blows. Let common sense prevail no matter how angry you are.

Re: so much for befitting Burial

I just want to commend you for your piece. It is very sad that much of the poverty experienced in our country has a direct bearing to our cultural practices and norms, which are more of expenditure than investment. These include expensive marriage ceremonies, child dedication, birth days, burial rites etc. More enlightenment is needed. More power to your elbow
–08027593…

God bless you for this wonderful and superlative write up. How I wish human beings will adhere to all the things you enumerated and stop wasteful spending during burials. You are blessed.
–Deacon Linus Duru, Imo State

Rapheal

Rapheal

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