Of all the virtues that make life tick, there’s no good second to being thankful. A grateful person is the most suitable, qualified candidate for more. Living a thank-you life is a huge part of walking with God. Gratitude is a talisman that works with God, and with man, but with the latter requires some wisdom, some self-confidence, some circumspection.
Gratitude is a two-way virtue. It has to be given, to be received. From that arise two questions: one, is it right for the good-doer to expect a thank-you from the beneficiary? And, two, is it wrong for the beneficiary to not express appreciation or -put as raw as should be- does such a one commit an offence known to nature?
To both questions, my answers are neither yes nor no. Simple, direct answers have the potentiality of hurting etiquette. That explains the alarming explosion in the size of the rude crowd, gobally. More and more people are electing to believe that it doesn’t really matter how you lead your life.
That’s the reason we may soon no longer have any need of the word -abomination. Presidents of countries and priests (hitherto considered the finest human specimens) now speak or behave like villagers; yet, no one thinks that abominable. For instance, the world will never forget that for four horribly long years, the United States of America had in the White House (of all places) the most unpresidential president in human history. The very fact that the man is contemplating to run again plus he seems to enjoy a growing band of supporters is proof that our world is currently trapped in some strange osmosis throes.
Behaviours have changed in ways no sane person could have foreseen nor can be proud of. It now seems more trendy to be brash, cocky, arrogant, ungrateful and stupid. If you look around enough where you are, you will see that it is far more rewarding to carry on like a scoundrel. They get all the access, all the attention, all the rewards – and all for nothing.
That deviation offers a background to better understand the tricky situation of discussing gratitude in this world. This is not the world that our forefathers handed over. Ours is a world that has changed, profoundly and unfortunately in the wrongest ways. Therefore, and this is a life-elixir, if you are good and plan to remain good: please expect no gratitude, expect no reward, expect no support for making that choice -in fact, expect and prepare to be targeted or ignored by even the few you think are different.
Back now to the twin questions of right or wrong. Generally, humanity must train or teach that gratitude is a must-give but on a personal level givers should never insist on it. No one is a (true) giver to whom gratitude is a criterion or deal-breaker. And, oops! no beneficiary deserves the blessing who makes giving a thankless sacrifice.
Even if I say so myself, I love how I put that. Gratitude is and must always be seen as a coin with which no one loses. Head or tail, the giver and the beneficiary should both be winners. The beneficiary gains what is received while the giver gains the satisfaction embedded in gratitude expressed.
Please relax, this is not being overly simplistic. There are a few contextual aspects which require great tact and patience. While someone is only a giver when they expect nothing in return, the thankful beneficiary is not that one who remembers to say thankyou only when they need another favour. In addition, there’s the question of how long you ought to be grateful for a good turn.
That question is not as clean and straightforward as it sounds, though. Of course, people should be grateful forever (please don’t start another debate); however nobody should be put in the prison, or made a slave, of gratitude because of having received goodness. No giver should turn gratitude into virtual chains of loyalty but, on the other hand, no beneficiary should bury gratitude because the favour was a long time ago. The fastest way to make this the world we crave is to continuously replicate gratitude by allowing one good turn to deserve another.
Furthermore, people should show kindness and be quite humble in the process: to glorify God -not self. Politicians who throw money for our young people to fight over must desist, because that style is evil, despicable and disrespectful. Shamefully (again because of how horrendously the world has malfunctioned) some refer to these egoistic money-throwers as givers. No way, they are not and shall never be givers -only bizers!
Unlike givers who give for nothing, bizers give as a form of business and self-entertainment. By their mode of operation, it is easy to identify them. They are money-throwing addicts every time they find themselves the only cock to crow at public places. One other characteristics of theirs is that at the slightest provocation, they gloat publicly over the goodness they have dispensed and name people they gave oxygen.
Also, they are so smart to time their charity or so-called empowerment programmes for purposes of maximum effect and advantage. They spend a fortune on publicising the misfortune called empowerment. Most often than not, beneficiaries are given not what they need but what will make the bizer look good in the eyes of the public. Which reminds me, bizing happens only in the full glare of the public and as noisily as can be so that even the deaf hear, the blind see and the dumb talk about it!
You cannot beat the mileage of bizing! But, God loves giving, and hates bizing. With preparations gathering momentum for the next round of elections in the country, bizers are toing and froing posing as pretenders to the throne of giving. They don’t know that the electorate now know them and are only playing along waiting for the most opportune moment to strike back.
Just how bizers sleep peacefully at night bothers me. I mean, you are 40-, 50-, 60-something with no record whatsoever of generosity; then, suddenly, because they imagine a political chance, boom! they start strutting all over the place trying to beat Mother Teresa -but, unlike the Saint of Charity, with a camera or two in tow. The photos and videos are immediately unleashed on us. They expect to be hailed as the new philanthropist in town and compensate with the throne, right?
Wrong, nobody must allow gratitude as an emotional blackmail tool. The latter-day person of goodness is and must be seen and treated as a suspect until they have successfully passed the scrutiny raised by reasonable doubt. Remain grateful for even the littlest kindness and show it always, but never be overawed by it to the extent of trading off your future. The word is enough for the fool.
God bless Nigeria!