Easter Monday was recently marked. In all Christendom, it was -as boys used to say back in the days of love letters- a red letter day (being the climax of the commemoration of the anniversary of the only death and resurrection ever. In the age of coronavirus, the public holiday was de-accentuated by the lockdown or fear that has engulfed everywhere. However, for me, it was a perfect opportunity to ruminate on life and its indispensable ingredient: being liked.
Is being liked something those eyeing success cannot do without? That is, for you to succeed in life, in business, in politics, in government, in ministry, in your career -for you to succeed in anything and everything- must you be liked? Put differently, can you strike gold in the midst of people who despise you? Does humankind pay too much premium on being liked or is it truly fundamental?
Who likes you? How do you know? Have you ever tested that likeness? Is it possible for all that smile, all that fondness, all that likeness to disappear vis-à-vis say a covid-19 prank?
Furthermore, is the liker also a factor? To break that down: is being liked enhanced by the person who likes? Does the likeness you enjoy from everyone around your boss mean anything when the latter dislikes you? If all the poor people in your sphere like your brand, can that matter more than the dislike by the only rich man available?
By the way, thank God for COVID-19. Although I still work 25 hours a day, as it were, the pandemic complete with its invisible entourage of lockdown, fear, ignorance, myths and fake news has afforded me ample time and sense as never before to reassess some things. One of such is the indisputable fact that when come grows into become, man only needs a few things namely food, medicine, information, money, law and order and their providers. No lockdown can stop these goods and services and experts.
Going forward, and to better prepare for every eventuality, you need to recalibrate your area(s) of specialty. If this lockdown locked you up; if you had no pass because yours was not considered essential service, plan to branch out into any of the aforementioned areas. That’s something to take home from coronavirus. Never again should mankind be caught so primitively off guard.
Back now to my other mental preoccupation, lately: the matter of being liked. Call it abstraction, if you like. Methinks we have not only commodified but sadly also overpriced being liked. People who killed themselves or stopped living or failed in life because they felt others didn’t like them did not indeed like themselves let alone their Creator.
Which brings me to another frustrating aspect of this subject. Does the likee play any role in being liked: for instance, must you like yourself? Must you do good to be liked? Can your mistake sabotage you being liked?
There are so many questions arising. Fortunately, they are not meant to be answered, as there exist no unanimously acceptable answers. Their rhetorical nature should guide us to guard the ensuing introspection. It is the only way we would gain from the exercise: better emotional intelligence, higher self confidence and greater productivity.
For me though, being liked might add some value here and there socially, psychologically and emotionally but concerning career or life success, it falls short of being what management terms critical success factor. Don’t kill yourself to attract love as the same haters may ignore your corpse and funeral. Let your work speak. They may not like your person but your excellent work leaves them no choice.
Focus on the goal. They may not like the scorer, but the goal they greet with a standing ovation is the announcement you need to succeed to the throne. That’s the point I wanted to make since. Being liked is no passport; your success is in your hands, not others’!
Jesus, whose resurrection anniversary we celebrated last week, was loved by God but that’s not what qualified Him to sit to the right of the throne. His sonship notwithstanding, He made the ridiculous choices of coming to be born of a woman, to live on earth and above all, to be killed like a common criminal. That’s the heavy price He paid for that righthand seat glory. The world didn’t like Jesus but it is that same fatal dislike that made him eternal king.
Never forget that: being disliked -far more than being liked- can catapult you beyond the wildest imaginations possible. Life is wired like that. Most often than not, the key is with the enemy, not the friend. Also, the world that didn’t like Jesus, the king of goodness, cannot like you, His follower.
See, your table of honour may be delayed because you are still foolishly stranded in your comfort zone. Today, go into enemy territory as Jesus did and was crowned forever Saviour. Be yourself: pray, perform, believe. The sweetest reign is in the midst of dislikers, not likers.
Lastly -being liked by a human being is neither a constant nor a guarantee- only God gives power to like or love. Therefore, rather than dissipate energy on any mortal being, get it directly from the Source. Reconnect to the divine grid. Welcome to the family whose Head loves unrepentantly and totally and eternally.
God bless Nigeria!
Is NASS not part of federal government?
I have been meaning to put the question. Why do senators and representatives always say, ‘we call on the federal government to … ?’ Who is the federal government? (apologies, former SGF Babachir David Lawal).
Even journalists allow the gaffe in their reports and presentations. Please, federal government of Nigeria comprises the Executive, Legislative and Judicial arms. Federal leglislators and judges can only call on the executive, not federal government -except they are telling us something else!
Feed forward: Don’t miss my piece on Abba Kyari next Monday!